Shared wife...you made your husband into a fool as he allowed you to have this bf for shared fun and yet at times you made this only your fun. That's just what my wife did! Big mistake!
My wife doesn't want to leave me either but that's no longer just up to her.
My advice to you is to tell your husband everything, and make sure you go overboard in your tease to make it very erotic for him. Do this a lot, over and over, not just a few times. Do this daily, and do it now. Otherwise anger will eventually set in your husbands mind for what you did to him. You have to replace that anger with eroticism. My wife hid this for two years and even if she wanted to I don't think she can get a good hold on all the details, as they would be blurred with times and things she did tell me. She was never any good at telling details in an erotic way, in fact she was downright poor in her delivery but I was too into the lifestyle so I tolerated it. With her poor detail delivery I often thought she needed to go to hotwife school, lol, or better yet immerse herself into reading as much as she could about the lifestyle but I don't think she thought it was worth her time. Another big mistake.
In any event, I think most of the details now would now be made up which is condescending and would only make me angrier. She made a huge blunder and she's not good at fixing things! She always thinks things will fix themselves with time by just ignoring it. Not this time. Things will never be the same as lack of trust and resentment has entered the picture.
My wife doesn't deserve a cuck hubby, she deserves a cheating husband. I've never been that kind of guy but it's no longer outside the realm. I do know if I cheated on her and she found out she'd leave me but at this point that's not something I'm overly worried about.
On second thought, I won't cheat on her. But I don't know where we're going as I'm very angry she did this to me and we weren't close enough to make this work like other couples do. If she thinks things will be ok if we just go back to vanilla she's mistaken. I don't think my resentment will ever go away. We've only been married three years and have no kids together so moving on won't be as difficult as one would think.
Oh, Sgt, if a wife does go off the reservation she damn well become come clean with hubby pretty soon afterwards. I could have lived with that.