Exactly this ,me and my husband are in it for each other,and my husband always is there and joins in x
Stag or Cuck
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The word that is missing is "wittol." From https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wittol
Definition of wittol
1 archaic : a man who knows of his wife's infidelity and puts up with itThe Many Synonyms of Cuckold
One of the more glaring inequities of the English language is that it has a significantly larger number of words for “a man whose wife is unfaithful” than it does for “a woman whose man is unfaithful.” Cuckold is perhaps the best known of these words, and it has many synonyms, including (but by no means restricted to) cornute, cornuto, hoddy-doddy, hoddypoll, horn, ram, and wittol (a man who is aware of his wife’s infidelity and acquiesces to it). What of a woman whose husband is unfaithful? For that our language appears to have but a single word, and an obscure one at that: cuckquean.Correct, wittol, rarely used term but also accurate, I didn't mention it as it wasn't part of the original survey question.
Until discovering the term Stag & Vixen we considered ourselves in the category of “swingers”. For the most part, we have stuck mainly to MF/M experiences, which has been by choice partly because the wife likes to have sex with other men and partly because I get off sharing her. So saying we are a Stag and a Vixen couple is an accurate description.
Since I am not a submissive husband or in the category I never felt I was a cuckold. We do not seek out “bulls” and the wife does not use the sex she has with others to dominate, degrade, or control me. I enjoy knowing the wife is with other men and she enjoys being with them. We have heard the terms “hot-wifing” and “wife-sharing”, which we think could also apply to our situation. I do get sexual gratification by other men having sex with my wife, and I do encourage her to do it. Although I do enjoy the role of just watching them or hearing about it after the fact. From the wife’s perspective all the sex very enjoyable for her and it is a huge confidence builder for her knowing other men desire her. She has taken full advantage of my willingness to see her with other men and has had a lot of fun. It is a turn on for her to satisfy and to be satisfied by other men. With all of them, she has always been a very enthusiastic partner, and has enjoyed herself when she with them.
It is hard to explain but sharing the wife has been is extremely erotic and never failed to arouse me. From the first time I saw her holding another man’s cock in her hand, to seeing her squirt from getting fucked so hard she soaked the sheets. Even deeply and passionately kissing another man as he fucks her gives me a special “thrill”. Finally, getting the pleasure of having her after they have. We have heard this called “reclaiming” and for us it is about us returning to each other. This is where the two of us reclaim our relationship.
Since I am not a submissive husband or in the category I never felt I was a cuckold. We do not seek out “bulls” and the wife does not use the sex she has with others to dominate, degrade, or control me. I enjoy knowing the wife is with other men and she enjoys being with them. We have heard the terms “hot-wifing” and “wife-sharing”, which we think could also apply to our situation. I do get sexual gratification by other men having sex with my wife, and I do encourage her to do it. Although I do enjoy the role of just watching them or hearing about it after the fact. From the wife’s perspective all the sex very enjoyable for her and it is a huge confidence builder for her knowing other men desire her. She has taken full advantage of my willingness to see her with other men and has had a lot of fun. It is a turn on for her to satisfy and to be satisfied by other men. With all of them, she has always been a very enthusiastic partner, and has enjoyed herself when she with them.
It is hard to explain but sharing the wife has been is extremely erotic and never failed to arouse me. From the first time I saw her holding another man’s cock in her hand, to seeing her squirt from getting fucked so hard she soaked the sheets. Even deeply and passionately kissing another man as he fucks her gives me a special “thrill”. Finally, getting the pleasure of having her after they have. We have heard this called “reclaiming” and for us it is about us returning to each other. This is where the two of us reclaim our relationship.
Hey and thanks for this clarification
UK MWC 30 and 32 here and neither of us properly understood the terms.
But humiliation isn't any part of what we enjoy or why we live the lifestyle
I adore watching P go through the whole target, chat up, get close, move to somewhere quiet and get really intimate and then fuck her chosen partner.
Sometimes when she introduces the idea of me watching, lads back away but the majority of times she has them hooked and we all reach the happiest of experiences
There have been a few times she has agreed and watched me and another girl but mostly when this happens we are in couples or more
So yes, looks like we aren't cuckolds but stags and vixens..... with a few little twists and likings
This is very similar to the lifestyle my wife and I have lived for many years now.
I have no idea what label this puts on me nor what category I fall in as others might perceive me.
To each their own of course and I would never judge how others live their sexual lives. For me - I'm not into humiliation, any kind of domination or being degraded. I'm not into bulls or cleaning up afterwards.
I am very much into sexually sharing my wife with other men with full transparency between her and myself. Even if it's me learning soon afterwards, just as long as there are no long term secrets.
I enjoy sharing her when we're with another couple, being in a 3sum with her, watching another guy (friend or stranger) fuck her or learning every little detail of something she did alone soon afterwards as I fuck her slowly.
I have always highly encouraged my wife to fuck other men. Be it fucking guys I've suggested or brought home as well as her initiating something that she wants to experience with other men on her own.
Similar to what Discretefun66 described - my wife has taken full advantage of my desire for her to fuck other men and very much enjoys herself. I'm fortunate that she is very willing to do almost anything I desire and finds extreme pleasure herself while satisfying what arouses me. She also occasionally plays alone for her own personal reasons and relives those exciting experiences with me after she gets home.
It's extremely erotic being with my wife soon after she's been with another man. I love seeing that satisfied glow on her face as I fuck her sloppy cum-filled pussy that was just filled by another man's cock.
"if you will debate with me, you must first define your terms.". I really am trying to figure this need out .. keeps reminding me of the opiate addict (excuse the phrase) saying to the counselor "well at least I don't do meth!" Or the person who drinks a case of beer nightly saying "at least I'm not a wine-o!"
A husband, whose wife has sex with other men, is a cuckold. By definition.... If doesn't matter if you like it, don't like it, agree, disagree, had to beg her to, or found out she cheated, you are married, she fucks other guys, she has bestowed the gift of the title cuckold on you.
Cum eating, is cum eating. Nothing to do with being a cuckold. When I was in the military an older NCO talked about eating his cum out of his girlfriend... Grossed me out... But he wasn't a cuck. Lots of guys out there who dress up like girls... many not married! You want to hide your sissy side behind your wife, or blame her for it .. fine, but it likely would have came out eventually...and it has nothing to do with being a cuckold... Want to suck a guy off... Or just suck a dick? Nope nothing to do with being a cuckold... I know of lots of guys who did time and had sex with other guys,.. "I'm not gay because I was the pitcher not the catcher"..
Same with humiliation, lots of guys out their who would kick their wife to the curve if she cheated ... Love humiliation...
Ok...
Stag v. cuck? A distinction without a difference. If you think that somehow you are not a cuck because you "let her" of you "share her" ... You are not speaking English... If you think you are better then cucks who also have kinks, that's a pretty good way to save your ego ... But one has to ask the question why do you need to draw a distinction..
All above said in kindness and in the spirit of an honest exchange of ideas.
A husband, whose wife has sex with other men, is a cuckold. By definition.... If doesn't matter if you like it, don't like it, agree, disagree, had to beg her to, or found out she cheated, you are married, she fucks other guys, she has bestowed the gift of the title cuckold on you.
Cum eating, is cum eating. Nothing to do with being a cuckold. When I was in the military an older NCO talked about eating his cum out of his girlfriend... Grossed me out... But he wasn't a cuck. Lots of guys out there who dress up like girls... many not married! You want to hide your sissy side behind your wife, or blame her for it .. fine, but it likely would have came out eventually...and it has nothing to do with being a cuckold... Want to suck a guy off... Or just suck a dick? Nope nothing to do with being a cuckold... I know of lots of guys who did time and had sex with other guys,.. "I'm not gay because I was the pitcher not the catcher"..
Same with humiliation, lots of guys out their who would kick their wife to the curve if she cheated ... Love humiliation...
Ok...
Stag v. cuck? A distinction without a difference. If you think that somehow you are not a cuck because you "let her" of you "share her" ... You are not speaking English... If you think you are better then cucks who also have kinks, that's a pretty good way to save your ego ... But one has to ask the question why do you need to draw a distinction..
All above said in kindness and in the spirit of an honest exchange of ideas.
Since I doubt that your goal is the restoration of the original meaning of words or that your motivation is a fanatical devotion to lexicographical purity, I am sure something else moved you to write this missive. What could it be?
You seem troubled by those who seek to establish distinctions in the absence of differences—differences you refuse to either see or acknowledge. I am reminded of the feminist arguments of the 1980's feminists that all sexual intercourse was rape, no matter how much whitewash you slop on it in the form of romance or the sanctity of marriage or mutual consent—the physical act is intrinsically violent and oppressive. What also comes to mind is Karl Marx's delight in bursting the smug Christian factory owner's view that he morally earned his riches, unlike the Jew's money lending, as the labor theory of value proved that those riches were all stolen goods, appropriated from the workers. More recently, the CRT activist informs us that if we are white, we are, ipso facto, racists; if you claim not to be a racist, you prove that you are. Claiming not to be a racist is racist!
As you see it, a husband who claims to be a stag deceives himself, as he is no more than a cuckold. The dictionary says so, so there. What if the latest edition of the OED or Webster's were to include an entry for "stag" that explicated the distinction by listing the differences? Would that settle the matter? I doubt it. Why? You seek to level, to bring down, to flatten mountains into valleys. How dare some men believe that they are not a lowly cuckold, a husband only worthy of contempt or, indeed, of a charivari, a public demonstration shame aimed at a cuckold? How dare a stag, in your own words,
"think you are better then [sic] cucks who also have kinks, that's a pretty good way to save your ego ... But one has to ask the question why do you need to draw a distinction?"
Because differences abound. The soldier, the hangman, the murderer, the homeowner who shoots an intruder—all kill. Distinctions arise due to the differences. The differences between a stag and cuck can be physical. The stag might be tall, strong, hung, and totally alpha. The French pornographic actor, Manuel Ferrara, extrudes burly manliness, and he is married to a female porn-star, Kayden Kross. Since she is regularly fucked by other men, this makes Manuel a cuckold, but not wimpy cuck. He is easily twice the man than his competitors, as he is dreamily handsome and jacked and an accomplished martial artist. He is a skyscraper to their second-story houses. He is the apotheosis of a stag. He confidentially lets his wife be fucked by other men; he does not seek a replacements to atone for his inadequacies.
The most important differences are not physical, but nonphysical. The psychological, ethical, societal, and aesthetic overlay, i.e. the Background is radically different. The virgin newlyweds on their wedding night do not partake in a rape, as the Background is the eager consummation of their marriage. The mountain remains a mountain and cannot be leveled. The secret sauce in many stag relationships is that the wife is the sexually lackluster spouse, not the husband. This is an inversion of the typical cuck relationship, wherein the husband is the pathetic one. The secure and robust stag husband hopes to see his wife's sexual standing increase by the extramarital sex.
Somethings are semantically more potent than others, weightier, more significant. We desire the best symbols, a Ferrari, a Steinway piano, a vacation on the Riviera, dinner with someone famous, so that some of his symbolic luster can rub off on us. Poor us, we, too, are symbols. Being a doctor or cop or soldier or husband or wife or hero or criminal—all are well-defined symbols. Everyone we know has precisely evaluated our place in the symbolic hierarchy. Worse than being at the bottom is being nowhere, not being well-defined as a symbol, as this the stuff of suicide and despair. Better to be a known mass murderer or a wimpy cuck than be a nothing, a nobody, a non-symbol.
Being black or trans solidifies you into an acknowledged symbol category, as does being diabetic or jacked (extremely muscled). Symbols, however, deflate and inflate. In the 1950s the lament was that being a Muslim was on the fast track to extinction, as women in Iran and Turkey wore bikinis and the faith was observed faintly; thus, being a Muslim was symbolically weak. Today, it has inflated or, rather re-inflated. Being gay was once spectacularly symbolic-rich. No longer. Today, being gay cannot even muster a yawn.
I once dated a young, supremely sexy women, whose lament was that her ex-husband refused to give her an MMF threesome. Thus, I had the opportunity, but choose not to exploit it. So, why didn't I share my fox of a girlfriend? She came fully sexually-symbolically charged. There was no need to pull her up. Some wives need pulling up, which the stag arrangement allows.
what do you call a masculine male that likes to slut-out his wife and self-cage, but also be the 3rd for another couple? It's easy to get hung up on labels. While a label may define 80% of things there's still the other 20.
In the legal world, there is a saying: hard cases make for bad law. Exception are just that: exceptions. Here is something I wrote to friend to help explicate the Background:
One way to see how the Background can differ radically with the same physical activity is to imagine a man paying a woman for sex. The assumption here is that he actually hands her the money, not that he takes her to an expensive restaurant and musical or gives her a pearl necklace. Both of them publicly acknowledge that a transaction is taking place, sex for money. The Background might be that she is a poor illegal immigrant desperate for some money, while he is married man desperate for some oral sex, something his wife resolutely refuses to bestow. Both she and he feel degraded by the sex. Neither will boast of the event later. Each feels that he is a victim; thus, she desires to get as much money as possible form him; he desires to pay the least and get the most sex possible.
The Background would be far different if she was a licensed sexual surrogate and he was the patient. As a result, her professional duty of confidentiality covers not only what he may reveal to her and what they do together, but also any opinions and conclusions the she may form after having sex with him. Ideally, she would want him cured and their encounters would soon end. The sooner they end, the more impressive is her ability to cure. In contrast, the cheap whore wants him to return constantly, possibly forever, as each visit further proves his safe behavior and they eventually would come to know each other, possibly becoming friends. The sexual surrogate is proud to tell the world what she does. He might not tell his friends and family of his visits, but he would declare the expense on his tax returns.
A different Background would develop with a high-end escort. Unlike the cheap whore and the sexual surrogate, the escort is meant to be seen with in public. He wants to be seen with her, as her youth and beauty are a testament to his worldly accomplishments, much in the same way as is his Rolls Royce. In fact, the more he pays her, the less sex he is likely to receive, possibly none. Why? This gets interesting. After spending a fantastic night with her, having basked in the glory of her charm and seductive body, his having sex with her places the burden of having to perform on him—if nothing else, he must be able to get hard. His stiff cock is not likely to impress anyone nearly as much as his vast wealth and platinum Rolex watch. His safer option, in terms of status-saving, might be to deliver a few minutes of passionate kissing with her naked in his arms and nothing else. If he did opt for sex, she would not begrudgingly offer her body; instead, she would happily deliver a master-class performance. The greater his satisfaction, the greater her status as a world-class seductress. Her goal isn't just to please him, but to prove herself triumphant.
In all three examples, a man and women engage in sex, but the psychological, ethical, societal, and aesthetic overlay, i.e. the Background, is radically different.
The problem with any labels, as Lynn is so fond of pointing out on here is that they are never going to be a good fit for everyone or even for anyone as we are all different so at best any title is a generalisation.
For instance in my case, I'm really not into being humiliated at all. But I do love watching other men fuck my wife. So that makes me a stag. But wait a minute, I also love cleaning other men's cum out of my wife and I have absolutely no problem cleaning a cock that has just been in my wife's cunt, and if another man can fuck my wife better than I can, I'm fine with that too so that would make me a cuck wouldn't it? To add to that, I've always been bisexual so of course I love to suck dick and also to get fucked too but I don't see either as humiliating or degrading. On the other hand Lynn really gets off on being on the receiving end of humiliating and degrading sex.
So where does that leave us when it comes to labels? There don't seem to be any that would be a very good match for us.
To be frank I don't really give a toss whether anyone else would see us as a cuck/hotwife (though Lynn prefers Slutwife) or stag/vixen couple. We know what we enjoy and also that other people will enjoy different things. At best any label is only going to be a sloppy shorthand description of sexual preferences and that's fine. The problems only start to surface when anyone tries to rigidly define what any of those terms mean.
James
For instance in my case, I'm really not into being humiliated at all. But I do love watching other men fuck my wife. So that makes me a stag. But wait a minute, I also love cleaning other men's cum out of my wife and I have absolutely no problem cleaning a cock that has just been in my wife's cunt, and if another man can fuck my wife better than I can, I'm fine with that too so that would make me a cuck wouldn't it? To add to that, I've always been bisexual so of course I love to suck dick and also to get fucked too but I don't see either as humiliating or degrading. On the other hand Lynn really gets off on being on the receiving end of humiliating and degrading sex.
So where does that leave us when it comes to labels? There don't seem to be any that would be a very good match for us.
To be frank I don't really give a toss whether anyone else would see us as a cuck/hotwife (though Lynn prefers Slutwife) or stag/vixen couple. We know what we enjoy and also that other people will enjoy different things. At best any label is only going to be a sloppy shorthand description of sexual preferences and that's fine. The problems only start to surface when anyone tries to rigidly define what any of those terms mean.
James
I love to watch my sexy slutty wife get fucked and join in fucking her Im a stag
Definitely a cuck ! Small but beautiful shooter and I love her to ride a big beautiful dick and leave it full of cum for me to eat! I want to clean him too but she think I am gay if I want to !
I am going to say it this way, a cuck gives control over to a bull. A Stag maintains control. These "men" insisting that a Stag is a cuck are pure nonsense. As a Stag Vixen couple, the power dynamic is much different from a Cuck and queen. Power being the ultimate word, followed by respected. As a Stag the power is equal with the Vixen in the decisions and the other man is "ALLOWED" access to the wife. He is also quickly dismissed when she or the Stag decides. A cuck has no say. A cuck serves. A cuck sits at the foot of the wife and Bull. Much different. Also, how the heck do i change the Male to Couple?
What a gem you are… we are still stuck on active role play however my wife has always been a bit vanilla submissive in our 43 yr relationship so when I ask her to “make me clean up your fucked pussy” she just rolls her eyes at me. But we’re getting there. You’re an inspiration!
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