Do you belong to one? Do you go often? Did it change things for you as a couple? Were your experiences positive or negative?
Swinger clubs, is it a big thing?
- Thread starter coastalkid
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I wouldn't call it a club. Hubby and I are swingers and we have other swingers we know. Sometimes it just us an d another couple, sometimes it a large group but mostly its us a a third bull or pussy to join un in a threesome.
We tried a few clubs and events early on
Definitely enjoyable for the most part although we were awkward at first lol.
But we met some nice couples and had a few meet ups
Definitely enjoyable for the most part although we were awkward at first lol.
But we met some nice couples and had a few meet ups
Been to several as used to be a regular at a club in PA. It was great fun.
You mentioned "awkward at first". How did you find the "club"? What was your wife's reaction after going?
KK and I've visited, and experienced various swinger venues since we started doing the hot wife thing. We haven't attended a formal event in several years however.
Our first forays were looking for less logistically complicated ways to find sex partners for KK, in what we felt like were reasonably safe venues. We've also used them for gangbang purposes - though more common in Europe/the UK, many host what are sometimes known as "greedy girl" events, designed to allow a woman to experience a gangbang in a controlled setting.
Early in our hot wife adventure, we used swinger venues to make things a little easier and more predictable - for example, avoiding the no-show/flake scenario that many of us have experienced. For the most part, our experiences were positive. Neither of us were particularly fond of some venue/group rules, for example mandatory condom use. Expectations are also a little different - if you're attending for hot wife / cuckold action, some swinger clubs aren't the best answer, because they are truly oriented toward partner swapping - if your wife isn't keen on the idea of you doing another woman, or that's not your interest, hot wifing/cuckolding is a little orthogonal to the swinger expectation of equal sharing.
The positives include a pretty much guaranteed outcome, wrt. sex - unless there's no suitable guy that your wife's interested in... Other factors include the "look before you buy" aspect, in that nudity allows your wife to see the goods before engaging.
Our first forays were looking for less logistically complicated ways to find sex partners for KK, in what we felt like were reasonably safe venues. We've also used them for gangbang purposes - though more common in Europe/the UK, many host what are sometimes known as "greedy girl" events, designed to allow a woman to experience a gangbang in a controlled setting.
Early in our hot wife adventure, we used swinger venues to make things a little easier and more predictable - for example, avoiding the no-show/flake scenario that many of us have experienced. For the most part, our experiences were positive. Neither of us were particularly fond of some venue/group rules, for example mandatory condom use. Expectations are also a little different - if you're attending for hot wife / cuckold action, some swinger clubs aren't the best answer, because they are truly oriented toward partner swapping - if your wife isn't keen on the idea of you doing another woman, or that's not your interest, hot wifing/cuckolding is a little orthogonal to the swinger expectation of equal sharing.
The positives include a pretty much guaranteed outcome, wrt. sex - unless there's no suitable guy that your wife's interested in... Other factors include the "look before you buy" aspect, in that nudity allows your wife to see the goods before engaging.
You said you haven't attended a "formal event" in a while. Is it because you have made your connections and are satisfied with circle of friends you have now? It seems like the kind of scene that loses something after the initial thrill has worn off. Pure conjecture on my part.
If KK is hankering for a "controlled gangbang" is this the solution for you guys? I understand arranging one on your own can be problematic.
We've been doing the hot wife thing for more than twenty years now - we've figured out what works for us, and what doesn't. Neither of us are swingers, at least in the colloquial sense, so there's some inbuilt disingenuousness associated with visiting swinger clubs, or being part of private swinger circles - that's not really our interest.
KK's favorite sexual pass-time is engaging in sex with multiple men; from MFM threesome play, to full on gangbangs. As anyone in this lifestyle can attest, even something as (seemingly) simple as an MFM encounter is logistically hard to arrange. A gangbang is exponentially more complicated to organize. In the early times, the swing club gangbang was kind of a compromise - it addressed the venue issue, reduced the planning and logistics effort substantially, while offering a reasonable outcome - i.e. KK was going to get fucked by several men, pretty much guaranteed.
The downside is this approach limits the ability to screen and select partners. In general, the center rolls the dice, and takes on all cummers. Of course, there's always the ability to say "No," or reject / constrain a banger. We found that to be a little problematic, because it put pressure on KK to decide if a guy was worthy of a fuck, and if not, or if she didn't feel attraction, thought the guy gross, or creepy, it put pressure on her to reject him.
The other thing is the condom rule - I can't think of a single venue of this sort we tried that didn't mandate condoms. KK prefers bareback. In addition, she has a mild latex allergy, so we always had to be prepared with lots of non-latex condoms and compatible lube. Further down that rabbit hole, many true swingers have what they call "blood bond" commitments - essentially a promise not to have unprotected sex with anyone other than their committed "blood/fluid bond" partner. In some swinger circles and groups, you get shunned for unprotected sex.
We've gained enough experience at this point in our lives such that the benefits of a swing club / group don't have much appeal, as we can figure things out on our own.
At that time I was married to another who enjoyed them. She passed away. I'm remarried but we have basically aged out of traditional couples swinging. Older folks like us focus more on house parties where birds of a feather tend to flock together.
Older is where I'm at too. Sorry about your wife's passing. What a stroke of luck remarrying into a situation where you can still have your fun. Do you have a specific circle of friends? How often do you get together?
We have a couple we play with maybe twice a month. We also know a couple who hosts parties quarterly. Then you throw in a single guy for her once or twice a month and that's pretty much it. Sexually, I would happy to just be monogamous but she still needs her variety. My greatest pleasure now is sloppy seconds with her.
Well back then internet was just rolling out
Found the club from a magazine if I remember correctly
First couple of times we just watched and mingled a bit making small talk with other couples
After a few visits to a few clubs we started to recognize some of the people we chatted with before
Eventually we met with another couple privately
We went to one near Harrisburg once. Maybe you fucked my wife there?
Otherwise, we really enjoy visiting sex clubs in Europe. Different vibe than in the US.
Hard to say. We just enjoy the environment in the clubs in Europe more. We've been to clubs in Germany (several), Netherlands, Hungary, and Portugal. Maybe it's because we are Americans. Or maybe because May is Asian and American.
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