I get that it is probably pretty difficult to put the genie back in the bottle.
The end for us?
- Thread starter Anonymousrob84
- Start date
I don’t really want to. I just want to be a part of it all or have the freedom to explore things that I’m curious about which she doesn’t want any part of.
OK, there is certainly plenty of BS on this forum, but there are also people with experience whom you should listen to. We've tried to tell members on here about the REALITY and possibilities of allowing your wife to become sexually active with others.
The idea that you are going to be able to control your wife's sexual behavior once she's started fucking around with other guys is a bit over optimistic.
Some wives will obey all the rules and quit when asked by their husbands. But....you've been told that some wives are going to "naturally and inevitably" break the "rules" and once "bitten with the extramarital sex bug" will NOT quit. You, as a husband who encouraged this, will have to learn to just deal with it. Seriously, your wife fucks now, other men know she fucks and maybe you don't feel it anymore, but other men just want pussy and love to fuck other men's wives if they are available. You should pursue your own kink with other people because your wife isn't interested in that. Just focus on keeping your marriage and relationship solid and let her have sex as she pleases.
Similar to us really. When we started out in the lifestyle it was a case that I'd always be there watching but although she doesn't go off on her own she openly admits she prefers fucking without me there nowadays. She was fucking her regular guy yesterday and apart from the odd photo I took from the doorway I left them to it. She's fucking twice next week with her regular and one other fairly regular and it will be the same set-up again. It's all recorded anyway so it doesn't really matter. It's still a turn on for me thinking what they're up to.
I think you missed the point where she said I am not allowed to explore my kinks with others at all. That’s kind of the reason we have any issue at all. I love that she is a Hotwife.
Man, this is a gut punch to read through. But situations like this is why we are still in a roleplay cuckold situation and haven't involved others, because you know never know how things will evolve.
If I were the OP in this I'd sit down and lay out everything, all the things she is doing (or not doing) that make you uncomfortable and then listen to what she has to say. If her take is that she isn't uncomfortable at all then you kinda have your answer, its over. She's getting everything she wants but isn't willing to involve her husband at all while placing restrictions on you? In no way is that healthy, relationships are about compromise and give-and-take. If she gets everything out of this and you get nothing, and you are only getting nothing because she doesn't want you to...either she has to change or you owe it to yourself to move on. I hate cliches but life is too short to spend it miserable just because someone else doesn't care.
If I were the OP in this I'd sit down and lay out everything, all the things she is doing (or not doing) that make you uncomfortable and then listen to what she has to say. If her take is that she isn't uncomfortable at all then you kinda have your answer, its over. She's getting everything she wants but isn't willing to involve her husband at all while placing restrictions on you? In no way is that healthy, relationships are about compromise and give-and-take. If she gets everything out of this and you get nothing, and you are only getting nothing because she doesn't want you to...either she has to change or you owe it to yourself to move on. I hate cliches but life is too short to spend it miserable just because someone else doesn't care.
It doesn't mean you can't be into the lifestyle in some way again in the future! I think you two need lots of open communication, and respect for what each other needs.
It would be interesting to hear Rob's wife's side of things too. Not doubting anything AnonymousRob has said, there may be differences in each of their perceptions of what the other one wants or needs. My wife and I had to have a serious discussion when she came to me in tears one night and revealed that she was "in love with him." That's a bit different (I think) than what Rob has revealed but it went beyond the few "rules" we had set. It's years later now and my wife and I both recognize that we were dealing with issues associated with "control" and "rules." She didn't want "rules" and I was subconsciously reacting to loss of control.
She told me flat out that she likes that I can’t play. She recognizes how selfish it is and she’s sorry but she doesn’t want to budge on what she wants to do be what she wants me to be able to do. But she also doesn’t want to be more dominant with me in a fun way so I’m kind of at a loss.
I’ve been through something similar. You’re in very big trouble. She’s gonna gaslight you as well when you ask to stop
It's harrowing to read through this. It's also sad - if it'd be a version that both of you would enjoy, it could all be extremely sexy. But you're not enjoying your part of it, and your wife (according to your story) doesn't care.
If we take the cuckolding out of it, let's say your wife buys clothes all the time which you don't like, or maybe she spends all her time with a church you want no part of, I think we're probably talking about a toxic relationship.
You have to stand up for yourself at some point and draw a clear line, and the consequences need to be clear too. Ending a relationship is not the end of the world, and if you're ready to accept that that's an option, I think you can better decide where you stand.
If you constantly fold and accept her going over the line, guess what, she'll find new lines.
Good luck and a big hug.
If we take the cuckolding out of it, let's say your wife buys clothes all the time which you don't like, or maybe she spends all her time with a church you want no part of, I think we're probably talking about a toxic relationship.
You have to stand up for yourself at some point and draw a clear line, and the consequences need to be clear too. Ending a relationship is not the end of the world, and if you're ready to accept that that's an option, I think you can better decide where you stand.
If you constantly fold and accept her going over the line, guess what, she'll find new lines.
Good luck and a big hug.
You'd be surprised how sexy it can be when the wife controls the sex....
She doesn’t want to control it in any way lol. That’s the thing. If we were doing this and she was doing the control thing, I think I would dig it
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