Was getting so close then killed it!

[Closeyetfar69]

Long story short. I admitted my fantasy earlier this year to my GF and she took it the wrong way and thought I wanted to fuck other girls.

I then got her to watch porn which she was open to then took that the wrong way and thought I was bored of her!

Eventually I was able to explain myself and tell her I loved her more than ever and that's why I was comfortable sharing these fantasies! She told me she was just very vanilla and was having a hard time adjusting to things!

She then did a complete 180 and was totally open and playing along with me! 😳

She was dirty talking (something she has never done before!), saying she wants two cocks at the same time, we watched a video with a woman riding a BBC!

I mentioned that I'd love to watch her ride it and I said do you think you could handle it? To which she replied "I could easily take that black cock!" 😍

Everything was going well until I got serious and said I'd love to watch her with another man. She got spooked when she could tell I was serious and said she would never have sex with another man and that's not what her idea of a relationship is!

She said I should want to protect her from other men not watch her have sex with them and told me to get it out of my head because it will never happen!

Where do I go from here? I was making amazing progress until I wasn't! 😱

 

[GoodTimes40]

Long story short. I admitted my fantasy earlier this year to my GF and she took it the wrong way and thought I wanted to fuck other girls.

I then got her to watch porn which she was open to then took that the wrong way and thought I was bored of her!

Eventually I was able to explain myself and tell her I loved her more than ever and that's why I was comfortable sharing these fantasies! She told me she was just very vanilla and was having a hard time adjusting to things!

She then did a complete 180 and was totally open and playing along with me! 😳

She was dirty talking (something she has never done before!), saying she wants two cocks at the same time, we watched a video with a woman riding a BBC!

I mentioned that I'd love to watch her ride it and I said do you think you could handle it? To which she replied "I could easily take that black cock!" 😍

Everything was going well until I got serious and said I'd love to watch her with another man. She got spooked when she could tell I was serious and said she would never have sex with another man and that's not what her idea of a relationship is!

She said I should want to protect her from other men not watch her have sex with them and told me to get it out of my head because it will never happen!

Where do I go from here? I was making amazing progress until I wasn't! 😱

What’s your time frame here? How many days/months apart is this happening?

Are you paying attention to her cycle? You’re going to have better conversations 1-2 days after her period than say 3-4 days before her period in most cases just due to hormones.

How long have you been together?

 

[Closeyetfar69]

What’s your time frame here? How many days/months apart is this happening?

Are you paying attention to her cycle? You’re going to have better conversations 1-2 days after her period than say 3-4 days before her period in most cases just due to hormones.

How long have you been together?

Been together 10+ years but only brought this up last year. I went pretty hard with it I think that's where I screwed up!

 

[Bernie84]

Have you tried using dildo's with her?

 

[Vincenzo]

I believe that every woman wants to ha e 2 guys at least once. They are just worried about how they will be perceived afterwards

 

[Bernie84]

Yea, I'm in a similar situation to the op. She admits she'd like two cocks at the same time maybe more when she's in a heightened state of arousal. She sometimes plays along when just jokingly chatting and then sometimes the total opposite, blows hot and cold. I think she thinks that I want to fuck around aswell but that's not the case. I thought I was making good progress but stopped short of telling her outright I'd like to see her fucke another guy because of these mixed signals

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

She has got to want it for it to be successful. I would keep incorporating what you can in the bedroom. Don’t push it so much for now. She sounds like she enjoys the fantasy but the leap to reality is too hard a boundary to cross.

Would she be willing to go to a nude beach?

 

[wocka-wocka]

Been together 10+ years but only brought this up last year. I went pretty hard with it I think that's where I screwed up!

As long as you understand, she was doing “sexual play” with fantasy, and you ZOOMED way, way, way past where she was, triggering some insecurities on her part.
There is no way forward without completely understanding how she felt. (Violated/betrayed/etc) and then you reflect back your understanding of her feelings so she feels seen.
That entails lots of talking. Hire a therapist if you think it would be the better choice.
This may be hard to believe, but, her response signifies how much she cares. if you value the relationship, work hard on fixing the break.

 

[wocka-wocka]

Yea, I'm in a similar situation to the op. She admits she'd like two cocks at the same time maybe more when she's in a heightened state of arousal. She sometimes plays along when just jokingly chatting and then sometimes the total opposite, blows hot and cold. I think she thinks that I want to fuck around aswell but that's not the case. I thought I was making good progress but stopped short of telling her outright I'd like to see her fucke another guy because of these mixed signals

It’s not mixed signals. Many women “try on” different ideas as a way to figure out what feels good to them. It’s how some of them move through life.
Your top goal is having it become a regular conversation. Don’t mess it up.

 

[Closeyetfar69]

It’s not mixed signals. Many women “try on” different ideas as a way to figure out what feels good to them. It’s how some of them move through life.
Your top goal is having it become a regular conversation. Don’t mess it up.

So I just need to lay low for a while then drop little hints when she's in a good mood?

 

[wocka-wocka]

So I just need to lay low for a while then drop little hints when she's in a good mood?

Yup. The more casual and normal you can make the Conversation, the better. Constantly remind her it won’t break your connection to her.
It usually starts in the bedroom. keep it there for now.

 

[Closeyetfar69]

Yup. The more casual and normal you can make the Conversation, the better. Constantly remind her it won’t break your connection to her.
It usually starts in the bedroom. keep it there for now.

She said she googled it and read a page that said if she doesn't go through with it I will always want it and never be happy and if she does go through with it then I will always want more and more.

All I could say was "Nahhh they lying!"

 

[GoodTimes40]

She said she googled it and read a page that said if she doesn't go through with it I will always want it and never be happy and if she does go through with it then I will always want more and more.

All I could say was "Nahhh they lying!"

Tell her that’s a stereotype and people love making blanket statements because it makes them sound smart or sets their own mind at ease. You are your own person and your own couple, you will take your own journey.

I agree with some of the earlier comments, take it slow and enjoy the process. I am getting better at serving my wife and letting her lead, we are enhancing our communication, I am trying to make sure she enjoys everything instead of worrying about me or my orgasm…it’s been awesome for our sex life.

 

[keylife022]

Long story short. I admitted my fantasy earlier this year to my GF and she took it the wrong way and thought I wanted to fuck other girls.

I then got her to watch porn which she was open to then took that the wrong way and thought I was bored of her!

Eventually I was able to explain myself and tell her I loved her more than ever and that's why I was comfortable sharing these fantasies! She told me she was just very vanilla and was having a hard time adjusting to things!

She then did a complete 180 and was totally open and playing along with me! 😳

She was dirty talking (something she has never done before!), saying she wants two cocks at the same time, we watched a video with a woman riding a BBC!

I mentioned that I'd love to watch her ride it and I said do you think you could handle it? To which she replied "I could easily take that black cock!" 😍

Everything was going well until I got serious and said I'd love to watch her with another man. She got spooked when she could tell I was serious and said she would never have sex with another man and that's not what her idea of a relationship is!

She said I should want to protect her from other men not watch her have sex with them and told me to get it out of my head because it will never happen!

Where do I go from here? I was making amazing progress until I wasn't! 😱

This lifestyle isn’t for everyone. Respect her wishes or be prepared for her to leave.

 

[wocka-wocka]

Tell her that’s a stereotype and people love making blanket statements because it makes them sound smart or sets their own mind at ease. You are your own person and your own couple, you will take your own journey.

I agree with some of the earlier comments, take it slow and enjoy the process. I am getting better at serving my wife and letting her lead, we are enhancing our communication, I am trying to make sure she enjoys everything instead of worrying about me or my orgasm…it’s been awesome for our sex life.

This right here.
OP, thank her for sharing her concern and giving you the opportunity to talk about it. The idea is, over time, she’ll begin to see it won’t threaten your relationship, and she gets to freely express her thoughts (🔥🔥🔥) and concerns.

 

[bhappy_39]

Long story short. I admitted my fantasy earlier this year to my GF and she took it the wrong way and thought I wanted to fuck other girls.

I then got her to watch porn which she was open to then took that the wrong way and thought I was bored of her!

Eventually I was able to explain myself and tell her I loved her more than ever and that's why I was comfortable sharing these fantasies! She told me she was just very vanilla and was having a hard time adjusting to things!

She then did a complete 180 and was totally open and playing along with me! 😳

She was dirty talking (something she has never done before!), saying she wants two cocks at the same time, we watched a video with a woman riding a BBC!

I mentioned that I'd love to watch her ride it and I said do you think you could handle it? To which she replied "I could easily take that black cock!" 😍

Everything was going well until I got serious and said I'd love to watch her with another man. She got spooked when she could tell I was serious and said she would never have sex with another man and that's not what her idea of a relationship is!

She said I should want to protect her from other men not watch her have sex with them and told me to get it out of my head because it will never happen!

Where do I go from here? I was making amazing progress until I wasn't! 😱

Relax you're making headway you've broken the ice. You've planted a seed.
It could happen the next time you guys are on vacation. And she has had a few drinks in her.

 

[Toosmall]

What’s your time frame here? How many days/months apart is this happening?

Are you paying attention to her cycle? You’re going to have better conversations 1-2 days after her period than say 3-4 days before her period in most cases just due to hormones.

How long have you been together?

the hormone thing sounds hella obvious but istg i'd never have put it together in a million years. im generally pretty oblivious though.

 

[2wheel]

This lifestyle isn't for everyone.
Many times the sizzle is better than the steak.
What she says an does with you during sex doesn't represent what she'll do out of the bedroom.

After all this time with her you should be able to know her limits and when you can change her position.

Though my late wife always said NO, I knew that she'd ultimately give in and ultimately enjoy it.

Is this the start or the end (part 1)?

Thursday, 8/30, I asked my wife if Gayle is going to join us for dinner Friday 8/31. (we're going out for pizza and Gayle's husband Jack is away). She's engrossed in reading a book and without any thought blurts out, "no, Gayle has a date." Then she realizes what she just said, stops reading...

www.wifewantstoplay.com

 

[GoodTimes40]

the hormone thing sounds hella obvious but istg i'd never have put it together in a million years. im generally pretty oblivious though.

If you want to reach your goal, put in the work. Know your angles and situation.

 

[GuiltyMethod2]

Damn, maybe just let her stew on the thought and not mention it again to her. I mentioned it to my wife during sex and after a while we started fantasing and role playing about her and there were times she’d get super wet and have insane orgasms and there were times she said she just wanted me. Just plant the seed and let her take it from there. We haven’t gone any further then just role playing and might never but I think she atleast thinks about it because she knows how much it turned me on.