I think I have mentioned this before , could it be a woman she is cheating with and not a man,
Just a thought , maybe she is a closet lesbian it would explain her love for her vibrater and her rejection of cock ,?👍
Am I right ??
- Thread starter Snoopsissy
- Start date
Just a thought , maybe she is a closet lesbian it would explain her love for her vibrater and her rejection of cock ,?👍
I was leaning towards the same feelings. Might explain the "pride ish" behavior
I wonder how he would feel if it turns out to be a woman would that change things for him , ?
Thank you for that suggestion samsar - I suppose anything is possible ? . Like so many other things I have only my personal view on her having been married for 9 years - she has never shown any interest in another woman although again if the right one came along - who knows - as mentioned before she said she was disgusted at the mff 3 sum on a tv programme last night . This is nothing new too however as I made the big mistake of telling her I had a mmf 3 sum about 10 years before we even met and she was appalled then too . This is the same woman who’s engaged to be married boss was fucking her after work ! . So it’s selective prudishness she practices .
Once you have the tracker in place it may come down to you having to actually physically follow her. Do you have any friends at the pub that you can talk to about this? That's if you go to the pub on any regular sort of basis. You could use some more immediate input from a friend or friends.
As to her reaction(s) to the TV program, I get the feeling that as a narcissist she also has an affinity for hypocrisy. She sees everyone else as flawed and minimizes her own behaviors. It's her way of justifying her behavior as reasonable.
At some point you have to consider how much of your life do you want to waste waiting on her to come around. I know for myself that I felt (and still struggle with feeling) a lot of resentment for my wife wasting some of the best sexual years of my life with her ambivalent attitude towards sex. Fortunately, my wife has realized her part in the damage she created with her attitude. That only happened after we separated for a short while. It took something extreme to bring her out of her self justification. Things are much better for us now but when I struggle to get hard for her I'm reminded of the time my wife stole from US. I have to push those thoughts from my head because it ends up being counter productive, especially in light of my wife's contrition and her obvious effort to make things right.
Have you considered just telling her that the way things are right now that you don't see a future together or at least realizing that what is happening between the two of you is pushing you away from each other instead of closer together? I totally understand your feeling the need to catch her because of her brazen attitude but will that be satisfying enough to warrant the anguish? She doesn't sound like the type to show contrition if caught. She sounds like she''s the type that would say, "Oh well, been there, done that." and just move on.
As to her reaction(s) to the TV program, I get the feeling that as a narcissist she also has an affinity for hypocrisy. She sees everyone else as flawed and minimizes her own behaviors. It's her way of justifying her behavior as reasonable.
At some point you have to consider how much of your life do you want to waste waiting on her to come around. I know for myself that I felt (and still struggle with feeling) a lot of resentment for my wife wasting some of the best sexual years of my life with her ambivalent attitude towards sex. Fortunately, my wife has realized her part in the damage she created with her attitude. That only happened after we separated for a short while. It took something extreme to bring her out of her self justification. Things are much better for us now but when I struggle to get hard for her I'm reminded of the time my wife stole from US. I have to push those thoughts from my head because it ends up being counter productive, especially in light of my wife's contrition and her obvious effort to make things right.
Have you considered just telling her that the way things are right now that you don't see a future together or at least realizing that what is happening between the two of you is pushing you away from each other instead of closer together? I totally understand your feeling the need to catch her because of her brazen attitude but will that be satisfying enough to warrant the anguish? She doesn't sound like the type to show contrition if caught. She sounds like she''s the type that would say, "Oh well, been there, done that." and just move on.
Cuntfister
Male
Part of her prudishness was she stated - no one used sex toys / she knew of no one that even had one and they don’t do anything for you anyway . She has always had a selective form of this especially when it comes to me or anything thst I suggest re sex . So I got her a vibrator to try and she now has around 6 - small / large - battery mains and they have given her I think the best orgasms of her life . She uses it when I’m at work as I heard her using it one day despite her denial as that would mean she’s sexual right ? . She has worked beside a lesbian before ( sort of butch one ) and her bosses ...... at previous job lived with another woman and has been invited to a gay club by them but needless to say didn’t go . She continually I believe represses her sexuality in favour of prudishness - in case someone else found out or some other nonsense . She has had as far as I know a few partners / men but all to a man seem to have been the most boring guys ever - none apparently have asked her to wear heels or stockings or anything / never did anything kinky or wanted to blah blah blah
Sorry to hear about your troubles in your relationship . Well the tracker will have to fo as I don’t really go to the pub or have anyone really to talk to . Yes I think you are right - I think she will just say ah well - she must know things are not right but she does not and never is the one to show any contrition or apologise or anything coming close to wanting to put things right - she has a very narrow minded attitude to that . I don’t feel resentment towards her - I’m just done trying to have a sexual or intimate relationship with her as she is so cold and unfeeling and always me that tries to patch things up between us .
Your situation makes my mind fly off into all kinds of questions and imagined possibilities. I can only imagine that you are experiencing that full on!
It made me wonder if your wife is driving you to cheat on her and catch you at it to hold over your head. As if it was something like, "I know all the ways to NOT get caught but you were caught so easily!"
Then I tell myself that only a disturbed person could be so diabolical. But then the way you describe your wife, I can't tell if she could be so conniving. That's when I get fired up again! THIS SUCKS!
If she's so calculating surely she has contemplated her end game. She's probably sorted through the possible scenarios, and your reactions and responses. She's working her way towards "something". What that "something" is, no one but her knows! I'm sure her confidants know only pieces of a bigger picture.
It made me wonder if your wife is driving you to cheat on her and catch you at it to hold over your head. As if it was something like, "I know all the ways to NOT get caught but you were caught so easily!"
Then I tell myself that only a disturbed person could be so diabolical. But then the way you describe your wife, I can't tell if she could be so conniving. That's when I get fired up again! THIS SUCKS!
If she's so calculating surely she has contemplated her end game. She's probably sorted through the possible scenarios, and your reactions and responses. She's working her way towards "something". What that "something" is, no one but her knows! I'm sure her confidants know only pieces of a bigger picture.
I think you have to be prepared to end this relationship what your wife is doing is cruel any life would be better than this,
You need to set your wife down and tell her you have gone as far as you can to save this relationship and offer her a clean break she goes her way and you go yours ,
See what her reaction is to that ,
One think is very clear and that is it is ruining your life walk away start anew let her ruin someone else's life,
I feel your pain buddy so do something about it,👍
You need to set your wife down and tell her you have gone as far as you can to save this relationship and offer her a clean break she goes her way and you go yours ,
See what her reaction is to that ,
One think is very clear and that is it is ruining your life walk away start anew let her ruin someone else's life,
I feel your pain buddy so do something about it,👍
Yeah it certainly doesn't sound or feel like there's any love there. The step "daw ter" is a pain in the ass. It feels like the ONLY joy in the house is derived from her taunting Snoopsissy. I wonder if she is truly "prudish" or if it is because she so turned off by what Snoop has said he's interested in that she is punishing him in her own way. She comes across as cold and calculating with a chip on her shoulder from her previous relationship and she's taking it out on Snoop. Clearly she's in some form of denial and seems oblivious to the anguish she deals out.
It's hard to deny your take Samsar. The way things are going there are no good conclusions. If he does catch her it is unlikely that she will change. If he doesn't catch her it seems very likely that she will continue to behave as she's shown her tendencies to be. Either way it seems like a sick game to make Snoop accept it and her attitude towards him. She must need SOMETHING from Snoop or else she would have moved on herself. Maybe she just likes the "game" and torturing Snoop motivated by her grudge against her ex. Twisted!
I agree wholeheartedly with parts of your valued reply coastal kid . I think you are 100% correct that she is indeed cold and calculating and punishing me and again 100% correct in taking it out on me due to her husband of 19 years one day leaving her and his two sons and a ...... . She has not to this day had a reason for him doing what he did and why so she takes out all that bitterness and spite , emotional anger on her present partner . We are due to go to Spain for a weeks holiday tomorrow and sex / intimacy will not be even thought about by her and not by me now either as she must now make the first move but knowing her blinkered view on these things she will never admit to being in the wrong and withholding sex so it will be a stalemate . I don’t think she is trying to push me into cheating rather she would not fuck because she thinks I would hold it over her head to seek a divorce , which couldn’t be further from the truth or what I want . I’m just dumbfounded why these other guys could get the slut version of her and use her , like her boss , her sisters fiancé , a guy at her work but I’m left with the dried up old fucking prude version of her . She never seems to be happy , never has a genuine smile or a hug for me , it’s like she just tolerates me because even though inside she probably still wants to be back with her ex husband ( who is mentioned quite a lot ) but is now an alcoholic so puts up with me because I’m right here right now do to speak . Another gem from her phrase book and one she also told her daw - ter is - it’s better to be with anyone than being on your own . That sort of sums it up because I feel just like an anyone . . Hoping over and over things will get better but they never do or will . She will never change as her anger for her ex and to punish him through her present partner is too strong . So as I say the ball Is in her court ,I’m showing her what it is like to be her cold , unfeeling , frigid - she doesn’t like it one bit and I suspect keeps thinking I will for the hundredth time make the first move , give in to her , be the cuddler etc . The only thing she needs is to keep this status quo of coldness etc going as well as keeping a roof over her head etc which takes us back to - better being with someone than no one - doesn’t mean you need to love them / emotionally - even like them does it . I’m just a someone - who pays the bills that’s what it feels like most of the time . She never talks about - us - either - , I’ve to organise / arrange most things and she’s only there to pull me up about something or other - never there to give a loving wife’s input like a loving wife share ideas or whatever . Before / during or after .
Thanks samsar , yes I’m getting to this point of no return , like a lot of people I don’t like confrontation but I get to a certain stage and once I reach that stage that will be it . I am going to see what happens in Spain this week and make a plan afterwards . Things radically need to change but I suspect nothing will happen because she is never in the wrong and cannot let herself admit that to herself . In 9 years I believe she has only said sorry to me for something she either said or did twice . She says such really filthy demeaning things during arguements to which she has admitted but she never thinks of the other persons feelings especially someone she says she loves during or afterwards . Sometimes I hold back because if I let out all my built up hurt and anger at being spoken to like she does I’d knock her fucking head off .
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