I think I have mentioned this before , could it be a woman she is cheating with and not a man,
Just a thought , maybe she is a closet lesbian it would explain her love for her vibrater and her rejection of cock ,?👍
Am I right ??
- Thread starter Snoopsissy
- Start date
Just a thought , maybe she is a closet lesbian it would explain her love for her vibrater and her rejection of cock ,?👍
I was leaning towards the same feelings. Might explain the "pride ish" behavior
I wonder how he would feel if it turns out to be a woman would that change things for him , ?
Thank you for that suggestion samsar - I suppose anything is possible ? . Like so many other things I have only my personal view on her having been married for 9 years - she has never shown any interest in another woman although again if the right one came along - who knows - as mentioned before she said she was disgusted at the mff 3 sum on a tv programme last night . This is nothing new too however as I made the big mistake of telling her I had a mmf 3 sum about 10 years before we even met and she was appalled then too . This is the same woman who’s engaged to be married boss was fucking her after work ! . So it’s selective prudishness she practices .
Once you have the tracker in place it may come down to you having to actually physically follow her. Do you have any friends at the pub that you can talk to about this? That's if you go to the pub on any regular sort of basis. You could use some more immediate input from a friend or friends.
As to her reaction(s) to the TV program, I get the feeling that as a narcissist she also has an affinity for hypocrisy. She sees everyone else as flawed and minimizes her own behaviors. It's her way of justifying her behavior as reasonable.
At some point you have to consider how much of your life do you want to waste waiting on her to come around. I know for myself that I felt (and still struggle with feeling) a lot of resentment for my wife wasting some of the best sexual years of my life with her ambivalent attitude towards sex. Fortunately, my wife has realized her part in the damage she created with her attitude. That only happened after we separated for a short while. It took something extreme to bring her out of her self justification. Things are much better for us now but when I struggle to get hard for her I'm reminded of the time my wife stole from US. I have to push those thoughts from my head because it ends up being counter productive, especially in light of my wife's contrition and her obvious effort to make things right.
Have you considered just telling her that the way things are right now that you don't see a future together or at least realizing that what is happening between the two of you is pushing you away from each other instead of closer together? I totally understand your feeling the need to catch her because of her brazen attitude but will that be satisfying enough to warrant the anguish? She doesn't sound like the type to show contrition if caught. She sounds like she''s the type that would say, "Oh well, been there, done that." and just move on.
As to her reaction(s) to the TV program, I get the feeling that as a narcissist she also has an affinity for hypocrisy. She sees everyone else as flawed and minimizes her own behaviors. It's her way of justifying her behavior as reasonable.
At some point you have to consider how much of your life do you want to waste waiting on her to come around. I know for myself that I felt (and still struggle with feeling) a lot of resentment for my wife wasting some of the best sexual years of my life with her ambivalent attitude towards sex. Fortunately, my wife has realized her part in the damage she created with her attitude. That only happened after we separated for a short while. It took something extreme to bring her out of her self justification. Things are much better for us now but when I struggle to get hard for her I'm reminded of the time my wife stole from US. I have to push those thoughts from my head because it ends up being counter productive, especially in light of my wife's contrition and her obvious effort to make things right.
Have you considered just telling her that the way things are right now that you don't see a future together or at least realizing that what is happening between the two of you is pushing you away from each other instead of closer together? I totally understand your feeling the need to catch her because of her brazen attitude but will that be satisfying enough to warrant the anguish? She doesn't sound like the type to show contrition if caught. She sounds like she''s the type that would say, "Oh well, been there, done that." and just move on.
Cuntfister
Male
Part of her prudishness was she stated - no one used sex toys / she knew of no one that even had one and they don’t do anything for you anyway . She has always had a selective form of this especially when it comes to me or anything thst I suggest re sex . So I got her a vibrator to try and she now has around 6 - small / large - battery mains and they have given her I think the best orgasms of her life . She uses it when I’m at work as I heard her using it one day despite her denial as that would mean she’s sexual right ? . She has worked beside a lesbian before ( sort of butch one ) and her bosses ...... at previous job lived with another woman and has been invited to a gay club by them but needless to say didn’t go . She continually I believe represses her sexuality in favour of prudishness - in case someone else found out or some other nonsense . She has had as far as I know a few partners / men but all to a man seem to have been the most boring guys ever - none apparently have asked her to wear heels or stockings or anything / never did anything kinky or wanted to blah blah blah
Sorry to hear about your troubles in your relationship . Well the tracker will have to fo as I don’t really go to the pub or have anyone really to talk to . Yes I think you are right - I think she will just say ah well - she must know things are not right but she does not and never is the one to show any contrition or apologise or anything coming close to wanting to put things right - she has a very narrow minded attitude to that . I don’t feel resentment towards her - I’m just done trying to have a sexual or intimate relationship with her as she is so cold and unfeeling and always me that tries to patch things up between us .
Your situation makes my mind fly off into all kinds of questions and imagined possibilities. I can only imagine that you are experiencing that full on!
It made me wonder if your wife is driving you to cheat on her and catch you at it to hold over your head. As if it was something like, "I know all the ways to NOT get caught but you were caught so easily!"
Then I tell myself that only a disturbed person could be so diabolical. But then the way you describe your wife, I can't tell if she could be so conniving. That's when I get fired up again! THIS SUCKS!
If she's so calculating surely she has contemplated her end game. She's probably sorted through the possible scenarios, and your reactions and responses. She's working her way towards "something". What that "something" is, no one but her knows! I'm sure her confidants know only pieces of a bigger picture.
It made me wonder if your wife is driving you to cheat on her and catch you at it to hold over your head. As if it was something like, "I know all the ways to NOT get caught but you were caught so easily!"
Then I tell myself that only a disturbed person could be so diabolical. But then the way you describe your wife, I can't tell if she could be so conniving. That's when I get fired up again! THIS SUCKS!
If she's so calculating surely she has contemplated her end game. She's probably sorted through the possible scenarios, and your reactions and responses. She's working her way towards "something". What that "something" is, no one but her knows! I'm sure her confidants know only pieces of a bigger picture.
I think you have to be prepared to end this relationship what your wife is doing is cruel any life would be better than this,
You need to set your wife down and tell her you have gone as far as you can to save this relationship and offer her a clean break she goes her way and you go yours ,
See what her reaction is to that ,
One think is very clear and that is it is ruining your life walk away start anew let her ruin someone else's life,
I feel your pain buddy so do something about it,👍
You need to set your wife down and tell her you have gone as far as you can to save this relationship and offer her a clean break she goes her way and you go yours ,
See what her reaction is to that ,
One think is very clear and that is it is ruining your life walk away start anew let her ruin someone else's life,
I feel your pain buddy so do something about it,👍
Yeah it certainly doesn't sound or feel like there's any love there. The step "daw ter" is a pain in the ass. It feels like the ONLY joy in the house is derived from her taunting Snoopsissy. I wonder if she is truly "prudish" or if it is because she so turned off by what Snoop has said he's interested in that she is punishing him in her own way. She comes across as cold and calculating with a chip on her shoulder from her previous relationship and she's taking it out on Snoop. Clearly she's in some form of denial and seems oblivious to the anguish she deals out.
It's hard to deny your take Samsar. The way things are going there are no good conclusions. If he does catch her it is unlikely that she will change. If he doesn't catch her it seems very likely that she will continue to behave as she's shown her tendencies to be. Either way it seems like a sick game to make Snoop accept it and her attitude towards him. She must need SOMETHING from Snoop or else she would have moved on herself. Maybe she just likes the "game" and torturing Snoop motivated by her grudge against her ex. Twisted!
I agree wholeheartedly with parts of your valued reply coastal kid . I think you are 100% correct that she is indeed cold and calculating and punishing me and again 100% correct in taking it out on me due to her husband of 19 years one day leaving her and his two sons and a ...... . She has not to this day had a reason for him doing what he did and why so she takes out all that bitterness and spite , emotional anger on her present partner . We are due to go to Spain for a weeks holiday tomorrow and sex / intimacy will not be even thought about by her and not by me now either as she must now make the first move but knowing her blinkered view on these things she will never admit to being in the wrong and withholding sex so it will be a stalemate . I don’t think she is trying to push me into cheating rather she would not fuck because she thinks I would hold it over her head to seek a divorce , which couldn’t be further from the truth or what I want . I’m just dumbfounded why these other guys could get the slut version of her and use her , like her boss , her sisters fiancé , a guy at her work but I’m left with the dried up old fucking prude version of her . She never seems to be happy , never has a genuine smile or a hug for me , it’s like she just tolerates me because even though inside she probably still wants to be back with her ex husband ( who is mentioned quite a lot ) but is now an alcoholic so puts up with me because I’m right here right now do to speak . Another gem from her phrase book and one she also told her daw - ter is - it’s better to be with anyone than being on your own . That sort of sums it up because I feel just like an anyone . . Hoping over and over things will get better but they never do or will . She will never change as her anger for her ex and to punish him through her present partner is too strong . So as I say the ball Is in her court ,I’m showing her what it is like to be her cold , unfeeling , frigid - she doesn’t like it one bit and I suspect keeps thinking I will for the hundredth time make the first move , give in to her , be the cuddler etc . The only thing she needs is to keep this status quo of coldness etc going as well as keeping a roof over her head etc which takes us back to - better being with someone than no one - doesn’t mean you need to love them / emotionally - even like them does it . I’m just a someone - who pays the bills that’s what it feels like most of the time . She never talks about - us - either - , I’ve to organise / arrange most things and she’s only there to pull me up about something or other - never there to give a loving wife’s input like a loving wife share ideas or whatever . Before / during or after .
Thanks samsar , yes I’m getting to this point of no return , like a lot of people I don’t like confrontation but I get to a certain stage and once I reach that stage that will be it . I am going to see what happens in Spain this week and make a plan afterwards . Things radically need to change but I suspect nothing will happen because she is never in the wrong and cannot let herself admit that to herself . In 9 years I believe she has only said sorry to me for something she either said or did twice . She says such really filthy demeaning things during arguements to which she has admitted but she never thinks of the other persons feelings especially someone she says she loves during or afterwards . Sometimes I hold back because if I let out all my built up hurt and anger at being spoken to like she does I’d knock her fucking head off .
Matching her indifference and cold attitude will only be frustrating for you. She thrives on her attitude. Your trying to match her attitude won't affect her. She'll just double down on it. It's a playing field that she has lots of experience with. She knows she has you boxed in to that corner and anticipates your frustration. It may do you well to remain in "salvage mode" and continue hoping she'll turn it around. I know the chances are unlikely but if you act cold and indifferent she'll use that as an excuse for not wanting or initiating sex.
After your trip to Spain if there isn't any sex, then on the last night you should tell her at your last dinner there that if things don't change you're done. Turn her words against her. Tell her it's better to be on your own by yourself than it is to be on your own WITH somebody that doesn't want you! Make sure you add that she could of had it ALL with your encouragement if she would only include you. She could have her fun and your stability if she would just open her eyes!
She's going to lose out again if she keeps this up. She lost her first husband and now she's running you off too. She needs a wake up call.
After your trip to Spain if there isn't any sex, then on the last night you should tell her at your last dinner there that if things don't change you're done. Turn her words against her. Tell her it's better to be on your own by yourself than it is to be on your own WITH somebody that doesn't want you! Make sure you add that she could of had it ALL with your encouragement if she would only include you. She could have her fun and your stability if she would just open her eyes!
She's going to lose out again if she keeps this up. She lost her first husband and now she's running you off too. She needs a wake up call.
You are yet again 100% correct in everything you say coastal kid - I will try as you wisely suggest and keep in salvage mode but I’m sure she will never initiate sex it intimacy and as you say she thrives on this Cold War relationship - that way I remain as bad guy no1 and she can justify no sex .otherwise she is a good wife - cooking cleaning etc etc - just doesn’t seem to have one sexual bone in her body - I feel looked after but cared for emotionally and loved no - sexually it’s a wasteland - what I can’t figure out is - why could all those other guys get the best out of her and I’m left with the fucking dregs - that’s what it feels like - they’ve had the slut - I have the nun . I’m always tempted during the many arguements. Where obviously everything is my fault one way or another that probably why her husband left - cos he found someone who wanted to wear stockings and heels , someone who would fuck , like kinky stuff etc etc . That’s usually what happens isn’t it . I think a lot of women don’t realise if you give your man what he wants and plenty of it he won’t look elsewhere but think that men just have to put up with what they offer up - like feeding scraps to a dog . Talking and trying to understand does nothing either - trying to compromise - nothing . I just get gaslit with - oh I’m a bit naive when it comes to sex stuff - I don’t know what turns me on - I have no sexual fantasies etc etc - she leads you in just to see what your going to say - how far your going with it - then shuts it down usually with a put down of some sort or another !!! Here’s an example with the fill me up panties - goes along with it then the put down about the vibrator
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Ok so we have been in Spain for 3 days now - still nothing - in fact I decided last night to take bull by the horns so we are lying close to each other naked and her pussy is just within reach - I rest my left hand on the very top of her leg and if I stretch my fingers can just about touch her pussy - after about a minute and I swear she can sense I’m going to touch her she decides she needs a ******** . On returning to bed she moves further away - pussy well out of reach - I remain unfazed , I lean over and kiss her nipple and lovingly touch her tit . She replies - what’s all that about !? . Not that was nice or do that again or anything . And possibly samsar may be on to something - her phone was frozen so after fixing it pretended to still have trouble and went through it - 3 un named nos and no other calls to / from family members - squeaky fucking clean ! . Apart from a WhatsApp one with a pic from another woman to which she replied xx . Now this may be something or nothing as I know women may do this . Next thing was as mentioned before she is a massive prude and the shutter in bedroom was open about 8 - 10 inches . She put a towel around herself and I laughed saying - yes the guy across the road has been sitting for 7 hours just in the chance to see you - she said well it could be a woman !. I was going to say - would you have preferred that ? . But that would have got her thinking why did I say that re the woman’s picture - no replies from my wife to her - nothing - nothing in pictures / e mail - nothing - fucking gutted yet again - had the nerve to potentially challenge me why I would kiss her tit after not touching her for 2 months / obviously she does not want it or me . I walking around with bare cock every night as it’s baking hot and not one touch - im in spain fucking wanking myself off ffs . . Fucking step dawter has wasted it too calling her ...... about some drama her and her controlling boyfriend have had - I don’t get that pathetic doormat either - she wants the boyfriend out of her house but then is upset and angry because her brother said the boyfriend was a prick because of way he treats her ! . My wife is ALL for her family and I’m there to pick up the scraps and pay the bills . There is not ONE sexual bone in her body . I’m so angry and resentful - I do everything but I’m left with the frigid fucking nun of a wife where her other partners seem to have used her all up . I’ve tried treating her like she does me hence haven’t done anything in two months but she doesn’t seem to bother . Every day I’m withdrawing more and more from this fucking sham . Sorry another novel - have another 3 days and looks like nothing will change - at least on her part so that’s fine - when we get home I’ll sort this once and for all .
Resentment was and still is a HUGE hurdle for me. In the past I remember telling myself that I would not initiate anything. I would wait until she noticed or realized that we had gone without sex for as long as we had. I was building resentment with each and every day that passed without ANY sexual activity. I was beside myself with anger as almost two months had passed and nothing was said or mentioned. I knew this strategy was not helping me. It was making me bitter, short tempered and filled with resentment. I didn't like myself but I couldn't let go of my attitude.
After nearly two months of shear platonic hell, my wife mentioned that we should have sex. She said it had been too long between times. I had been at the bar after work and at my age and having a few beers in me, I knew I wouldn't be able to perform. I got madder than hell but I never said anything or complained. I wondered if she knew I wouldn't be up to it and she could make the offer knowing I couldn't/wouldn't follow through.
I was truly and deeply upset. I felt like waiting on her to come around lost me my prime years sexually. Resentment had grown into an all time high. When we did finally have sex again, it was uninspired, almost contractual, obligation met. I felt the joy of being "partially" satisfied and wondered how long will we go THIS time? I took the other route and thanked her for her effort and expressed my satisfaction. Things seemed a little lighter but eventually returned to the routine of long stretches of NOTHING.
It took my moving out of the house before things got resolved and even then there were more hurdles (tough ones). I'm happy to say that she has made impressive changes in her desire and attitude. She puts more effort into our love making. She's more willing than EVER before. She talks dirty to me when we have sex. She's more enthusiastic. She does more things. I have to fight like hell with myself to ignore my resentment of the past because it never really went completely away. Any time I don't get hard for her, I think of how much I LOVE SEX and how my mind is willing but the body doesn't always respond and how we missed out on all we could have had.
I won't lie, Viagra has been helpful. I've been paying better attention to my health and my confidence is more steady. In two days we'll be celebrating our 47th anniversary. It's been a long road but it's better than it's ever been.
It's my turn to apologize for the "novel" length reply. When I saw the "R" word I flashed back to "those days".
After nearly two months of shear platonic hell, my wife mentioned that we should have sex. She said it had been too long between times. I had been at the bar after work and at my age and having a few beers in me, I knew I wouldn't be able to perform. I got madder than hell but I never said anything or complained. I wondered if she knew I wouldn't be up to it and she could make the offer knowing I couldn't/wouldn't follow through.
I was truly and deeply upset. I felt like waiting on her to come around lost me my prime years sexually. Resentment had grown into an all time high. When we did finally have sex again, it was uninspired, almost contractual, obligation met. I felt the joy of being "partially" satisfied and wondered how long will we go THIS time? I took the other route and thanked her for her effort and expressed my satisfaction. Things seemed a little lighter but eventually returned to the routine of long stretches of NOTHING.
It took my moving out of the house before things got resolved and even then there were more hurdles (tough ones). I'm happy to say that she has made impressive changes in her desire and attitude. She puts more effort into our love making. She's more willing than EVER before. She talks dirty to me when we have sex. She's more enthusiastic. She does more things. I have to fight like hell with myself to ignore my resentment of the past because it never really went completely away. Any time I don't get hard for her, I think of how much I LOVE SEX and how my mind is willing but the body doesn't always respond and how we missed out on all we could have had.
I won't lie, Viagra has been helpful. I've been paying better attention to my health and my confidence is more steady. In two days we'll be celebrating our 47th anniversary. It's been a long road but it's better than it's ever been.
It's my turn to apologize for the "novel" length reply. When I saw the "R" word I flashed back to "those days".
You need to end this sham of a marriage before it's to late,and I get mo joy out of saying that,
It's always sad when a relationship breaks up,but this is not a relationship it's just pain for you,
I think it's not a man or a woman that she is hooking up with I just think she has gone off sex completely why who knows it may have nothing to do with you,
I feel for you,protect yourself bring this sham to an end sooner rather than later ,
If it was me I would fly home and leave her in Spain , 👍
No need to apologise whatsoever coastal kid - like me you just want to tell it how it is / was. And damn your first 3 paragraphs was almost like looking in a mirror with my present situation almost to the letter so thank you for that . It may take us separating to resolve our situation but being realistic I doubt even that would do anything -. Things came to a sort of head a day ago - she was ...... and I couldn’t ...... as it was too hot - 36 degrees c and the ac didn’t work much in stepsons house . So bear in mind she’s been walking around for 5 days with tits and sometimes pussy out or little too / no bra and tittles hanging or no bra and little sheer panties on ( that I bought lol ) AND like you I love sex and would say I’m a sexual / kinky guy . ( like most are eh ) . Anyhoo got a terrific cuckold vid on my phone and wanking to it as I was so horny . Next thing I know she’s at the stairs asking me what I’m doing ? . In my resentment I replied having a wank - so this now really sums her attitude towards me / us and sex in general . Her - why are you doing that you dirty old bastard - me - cos I’m getting nothing from you ! . Her you haven’t came near me for months since I sent you that text . Me I’m showing you what it’s like to be you - you never initiate anything and your never horny . Her well I don’t want to have sex with you because of how you’ve made me feel . Me what like buying u every fucking thing you want , taking your ...... into our home , bailing your dawter out with debt - stuff like that . Her yes that’s all you do but me things especially if it’s bras / panties / high heels . Me yes like the 600$ for new glasses . ? . Me you play with your vibrator when I’m out . Her yes but I’m not looking at other men and women while I’m doing it . - me - so it wasn’t because I’ve had fuck all in 4 months and nearly a year since I’ve had a blow job and it wasn’t the fact I was wanking because of that and a few other reasons - it was because I was looking at other people - how fucking prudish and Victorian can you get ? . Her well you should be happy and content with just a kiss and cuddle as there’s more to a relationship than sex and I’m not going to give you a blowjob or do anything else I don’t want to do or do something just to please you !! . Her - why didn’t you talk to me about it ? . Me well you can count the days and months like me so you would know how long you’ve been withholding sex and intimacy from me and since you’ve said you don’t know what turns you on how the fuck am I supposed to ? . Her well it just happens between a man and wife - in 25 years of marriage I never had to say let’s do it ? . Me yes the one who walked out because probably his sex life was ...... - why am I the one to end up with the bitter dried up prude - your husband and other men have had the sexy -slutty you - why have ended up with the nun ? . So there we have it and as you say the resentment is still piling up day on day . She just can’t seem to grasp the basic facts / taxi driver during conversation said - yes happy wife - happy life - so sure enough had to pull me up about that - she said I was going to tell the taxi driver that he needed to tell you that - I replied yes but that’ll be because his wife still be on her back and her legs open for him - so the stalemate continues . Still waiting for her to initiate but know that will never happen because that means she is giving in to me but it will cost her her marriage . This I know for sure now . Here also is the text that she said I stopped touching her . She says I’m continually wanting her to do more and never happy with what we do . Yes I was wanting to be a cuck - have her get fucked and clean her out or watch her take it but not a cuck that’s pussy free or a walking wallet or demeaned or made a fool off . Here are the texts - too
