Boyfriend starting to look into sharing for GF

[Torporhappy]

Filler...Sorry

 

[Whahh]

I need advice and potentially resources. However, I think significant context is needed

So me (M25) and my gf (F23) and I will send twitter porn back and forth when we are in the mood. We have been dating for just over a year and we are incredibly sexually compatible. She's very submissive and the chemistry in the bedroom is insane. She took my virginity and our first time, was an impromptu lovemaking in the living room of my apartment while my roommates were not home. We have been fairly open with each other, but for me this is my first relationship that I am sexually active in and for her tends to be VERY shy.

I had hinted early on that I wanted to try a MMF threesome and got a interested but not enthusiastic agreement from her. I internalized this. I am not a cuckold but I love the idea of sharing her. For me, I have no desire to be humiliated or degraded, but I see it as an opportunity to degrade her. To objectify her. This was where a lot of my nerve came from. I love her and I don't view her as an object, but in the bedroom its hot. But today I was feeling extra horny. I had bookmarked a video that had a woman with 4 men around her. She was taking one of them in her while holding two in her hands. Eventually the one guy in her stops and lets the 4th guy have a turn. They were all very hung and I couldn't stop imagining my gf in that position.

I sent this to her while admittedly shaking. I didn't want to spook her because non-monogamy and that sort of encounter can be very taboo in certain relationships. However, after I sent the video, she messaged me back asking If I was into that sort of thing. I told her that I was but that I understood if she was not. To my relief, it turns out she loved that Idea.

This set off a discussion about gangbang situations and also more intimate situations with just one other man. I asked her why she liked it and she shared a very similar answer to why I find it so attractive. She said she likes the idea of feeling so degraded and used like a toy. We also discussed limits and concerns. She had concerns with finding sexual partners who she feels safe and comfortable with, how we would go about that and such. This was a concern I also shared. I also explained that I only wanted to share her in the bedroom and I wanted to remain exclusive as a romantic couple. I also explained that I wanted to always be with her whenever she was with another man and only with a man that I had met and felt comfortable with her. She acknowledged and agreed to these concerns.

Here is where I ask for help: Knowing the full context with out interests and concerns...For those of you who have shared a partner, what are some pieces of advice that I should discuss or kept in mind? What are things that need to be considered? Also what are some resources we can use to find men who would be interested in this? I am hesitant to have a shared account on something like Tinder or Bumble, because our community is small enough where we would certainly be seen by people who we know. Are there sites online? What are some tips for finding these partners? What are some red flags to watch out for?

Pm me x

 

[Mister_De_Sade]

I need advice and potentially resources. However, I think significant context is needed

So me (M25) and my gf (F23) and I will send twitter porn back and forth when we are in the mood. We have been dating for just over a year and we are incredibly sexually compatible. She's very submissive and the chemistry in the bedroom is insane. She took my virginity and our first time, was an impromptu lovemaking in the living room of my apartment while my roommates were not home. We have been fairly open with each other, but for me this is my first relationship that I am sexually active in and for her tends to be VERY shy.

I had hinted early on that I wanted to try a MMF threesome and got a interested but not enthusiastic agreement from her. I internalized this. I am not a cuckold but I love the idea of sharing her. For me, I have no desire to be humiliated or degraded, but I see it as an opportunity to degrade her. To objectify her. This was where a lot of my nerve came from. I love her and I don't view her as an object, but in the bedroom its hot. But today I was feeling extra horny. I had bookmarked a video that had a woman with 4 men around her. She was taking one of them in her while holding two in her hands. Eventually the one guy in her stops and lets the 4th guy have a turn. They were all very hung and I couldn't stop imagining my gf in that position.

I sent this to her while admittedly shaking. I didn't want to spook her because non-monogamy and that sort of encounter can be very taboo in certain relationships. However, after I sent the video, she messaged me back asking If I was into that sort of thing. I told her that I was but that I understood if she was not. To my relief, it turns out she loved that Idea.

This set off a discussion about gangbang situations and also more intimate situations with just one other man. I asked her why she liked it and she shared a very similar answer to why I find it so attractive. She said she likes the idea of feeling so degraded and used like a toy. We also discussed limits and concerns. She had concerns with finding sexual partners who she feels safe and comfortable with, how we would go about that and such. This was a concern I also shared. I also explained that I only wanted to share her in the bedroom and I wanted to remain exclusive as a romantic couple. I also explained that I wanted to always be with her whenever she was with another man and only with a man that I had met and felt comfortable with her. She acknowledged and agreed to these concerns.

Here is where I ask for help: Knowing the full context with out interests and concerns...For those of you who have shared a partner, what are some pieces of advice that I should discuss or kept in mind? What are things that need to be considered? Also what are some resources we can use to find men who would be interested in this? I am hesitant to have a shared account on something like Tinder or Bumble, because our community is small enough where we would certainly be seen by people who we know. Are there sites online? What are some tips for finding these partners? What are some red flags to watch out for?

I asked her why she liked it and she shared a very similar answer to why I find it so attractive. She said she likes the idea of feeling so degraded and used like a toy.

Sounds EXACTLY like how I introduced my girl to being shared/used by additional men. We also confessed our kinks to each other after being together for a while; and lucky me (us) our sexual fantasies lined up!

She had concerns with finding sexual partners who she feels safe and comfortable with, how we would go about that and such. (...) I am hesitant to have a shared account on something like Tinder or Bumble, because our community is small enough where we would certainly be seen by people who we know.

I would NOT recommend using Tinder/Bumble, but instead use Fetlife. It's a social media platform that's been around since 2008 and is massive. The best part is you can see how much experience others have that your interacting with, see images they've uploaded, chat in forums about kinks, set up meet n greets, dates, or make plans to meet others at adult swingers clubs, etc.

I'd also suggest making the location of your first meetup be out of town, but not too far. You don't want to run into people that know you in your "vanilla" life, nor do you want to have a negative experience (it does happen) and be so far away from home, or spend too much money travelling really far to just have a mediocre experience.

What are some tips for finding these partners? What are some red flags to watch out for?

Be straight forward and up front about what you two are seeking. Come up with a list of hard and soft limits, safe words, etc. Make it clear that at ANY time, you or she can call off any meetup if you're uncomfortable or feel the limits have been violated.

Also, don't settle. You'll find someone that lines up with your kinks, just be patient.

 

[wantingnoregret]

Sounds EXACTLY like how I introduced my girl to being shared/used by additional men. We also confessed our kinks to each other after being together for a while; and lucky me (us) our sexual fantasies lined up!



I would NOT recommend using Tinder/Bumble, but instead use Fetlife. It's a social media platform that's been around since 2008 and is massive. The best part is you can see how much experience others have that your interacting with, see images they've uploaded, chat in forums about kinks, set up meet n greets, dates, or make plans to meet others at adult swingers clubs, etc.

I'd also suggest making the location of your first meetup be out of town, but not too far. You don't want to run into people that know you in your "vanilla" life, nor do you want to have a negative experience (it does happen) and be so far away from home, or spend too much money travelling really far to just have a mediocre experience.



Be straight forward and up front about what you two are seeking. Come up with a list of hard and soft limits, safe words, etc. Make it clear that at ANY time, you or she can call off any meetup if you're uncomfortable or feel the limits have been violated.

Also, don't settle. You'll find someone that lines up with your kinks, just be patient.

I would also had to keep your eyes open when you are traveling away from home for whatever reason work, vacation, or just a long weekend as you never know who you might meet somewhere that could turn out to be the person and have a dynamite experience while you are out or the start of a long-term relationship or long-term friends with benefits

 

[godsgifttowomen]

I need advice and potentially resources. However, I think significant context is needed

So me (M25) and my gf (F23) and I will send twitter porn back and forth when we are in the mood. We have been dating for just over a year and we are incredibly sexually compatible. She's very submissive and the chemistry in the bedroom is insane. She took my virginity and our first time, was an impromptu lovemaking in the living room of my apartment while my roommates were not home. We have been fairly open with each other, but for me this is my first relationship that I am sexually active in and for her tends to be VERY shy.

I had hinted early on that I wanted to try a MMF threesome and got a interested but not enthusiastic agreement from her. I internalized this. I am not a cuckold but I love the idea of sharing her. For me, I have no desire to be humiliated or degraded, but I see it as an opportunity to degrade her. To objectify her. This was where a lot of my nerve came from. I love her and I don't view her as an object, but in the bedroom its hot. But today I was feeling extra horny. I had bookmarked a video that had a woman with 4 men around her. She was taking one of them in her while holding two in her hands. Eventually the one guy in her stops and lets the 4th guy have a turn. They were all very hung and I couldn't stop imagining my gf in that position.

I sent this to her while admittedly shaking. I didn't want to spook her because non-monogamy and that sort of encounter can be very taboo in certain relationships. However, after I sent the video, she messaged me back asking If I was into that sort of thing. I told her that I was but that I understood if she was not. To my relief, it turns out she loved that Idea.

This set off a discussion about gangbang situations and also more intimate situations with just one other man. I asked her why she liked it and she shared a very similar answer to why I find it so attractive. She said she likes the idea of feeling so degraded and used like a toy. We also discussed limits and concerns. She had concerns with finding sexual partners who she feels safe and comfortable with, how we would go about that and such. This was a concern I also shared. I also explained that I only wanted to share her in the bedroom and I wanted to remain exclusive as a romantic couple. I also explained that I wanted to always be with her whenever she was with another man and only with a man that I had met and felt comfortable with her. She acknowledged and agreed to these concerns.

Here is where I ask for help: Knowing the full context with out interests and concerns...For those of you who have shared a partner, what are some pieces of advice that I should discuss or kept in mind? What are things that need to be considered? Also what are some resources we can use to find men who would be interested in this? I am hesitant to have a shared account on something like Tinder or Bumble, because our community is small enough where we would certainly be seen by people who we know. Are there sites online? What are some tips for finding these partners? What are some red flags to watch out for?

You two sound like a damn good time. Read The Ethical Slut together. Its a great book for any relationship but a great primer for ENM. Drawing boundaries, communication, self accountability are all laid out to be open with each other in the process. You two sound like you're already sympatico in these ways, but discussing the book together may help you further define what you're seeking.

Unless you want someone possessive like a cuck situation, ensure that your partners know the arrangement. I'm new to the LS but have heard many issues with guys getting possessive when involved. I would prefer that, but no matter how much free reign anyone is given as a Dom, it should provide the sub or couple what they're seeking where we're compatible. Pushing boundaries is way different than disrespecting what you've established and invited someone into; and thats a privilege. Even when giving up complete control to your third party. These are hard lined ethical theories, but theres an art to anything that can be more organic as well. Different people are lead in different ways and not everything is always a conversation, so much as self discovery of the process itself. So not everything needs to be laid in stone if you have a safeword and just take the ride to discover what you enjoy. Ideally, it should open you up to each other more because you can be so open with one another, but with anything its up to the people involved to find the silver lining. Thats my rose colored glasses take anyway.

 

[Vincenzo]

Out 1st encounter was with her ex fuck buddy. I had wanted to see her fucked by a big dick, which he fit the bill. Also she was comfortable with him and being the 1st time she was hesitant on it being a stranger. Some people have said how could you let her fuck an ex, but the comfort level is everything, and he's an ex for a reason. Just have to realize there is no love there and it's just fucking

 

[Lordlybear]

You two sound like a damn good time. Read The Ethical Slut together. Its a great book for any relationship but a great primer for ENM. Drawing boundaries, communication, self accountability are all laid out to be open with each other in the process. You two sound like you're already sympatico in these ways, but discussing the book together may help you further define what you're seeking.

Unless you want someone possessive like a cuck situation, ensure that your partners know the arrangement. I'm new to the LS but have heard many issues with guys getting possessive when involved. I would prefer that, but no matter how much free reign anyone is given as a Dom, it should provide the sub or couple what they're seeking where we're compatible. Pushing boundaries is way different than disrespecting what you've established and invited someone into; and thats a privilege. Even when giving up complete control to your third party. These are hard lined ethical theories, but theres an art to anything that can be more organic as well. Different people are lead in different ways and not everything is always a conversation, so much as self discovery of the process itself. So not everything needs to be laid in stone if you have a safeword and just take the ride to discover what you enjoy. Ideally, it should open you up to each other more because you can be so open with one another, but with anything its up to the people involved to find the silver lining. Thats my rose colored glasses take anyway.

Well said. Dom responsibility is to give you that safety and security and surety to let yourself go and enjoy your fantasy/explore yourself. So many guys these days say they are Doms but only interested in fuck and cumming, it's so much more than that. I always suggest a 'soft date' or time to be open between the 3 of you/us to be clear about boundaries, likes/dislikes and get to know each other. Pleasure is always heightened by knowing each other more. And always remember, consent can be withdrawn at any time, and any stage of having fun. Never feel obligation just become someone is horny/hot or close to cumming. 😁