Confession. What do we do now?

[Amy/Ash]

So to be totally upfront, I know nothing about this lifestyle other than what I've learnt in the last week.
To cut a very long, complicated and emotional story really short my parents came out to my brother and I at a family dinner last week.
They have been in whatever you actually call it, a hot wife relationship for like 15 years.
She's had the same boyfriend for about 8 years even though she sees other people as well.
She now wants him to be a bigger part of their lives and by default our lives and include him at dinners, birthdays etc.
Dad has apparently been celibate for the entire time. What man doesn't have sex for 15 years and stay with that person?
It's absolutely gross to hear these things about your own parents but given I love them I'm willing to learn to see if we can salvage some sort of relationship moving forward.
It's great to say that we'll be respectful and accepting of other peoples private lives in theory but here we are living this reality and I'm struggling. I wish they didn't tell us. Why did they have to tell us?
How do we process this? How can I look at them the same? How can I look at her boyfriend? How can I have respect for Dad when he's being trampled over?
As I said, I'm here to learn. Has anyone gone through the same? How did you deal with it?
I'm actually intrigued and fascinated bu this lifestyle now I know it exists but at the same time am disgusted and confused why people would want it, especially the man being essentially cheated on repeatedly.
Please be gentle on me if I've said anything offensive, it truly is unintentional.

 

[nariah1957]

Basically it comes down to you and your parents and how you feel about them and they you. I can understand that you may have lost some respect for your parents over this issue but think about all the other things your parents have done for you. I assume they have kept you fed and clothed and given you a home with all the love and attention you need. Along with that they have raised you, educated you, taken you on holidays, supplied all the toys, sports gear and fashion that a young boy/girl needs and protected you, looked after you when you were sick. Not to mention the sacrifices they made to do all this for you. So they have a strange sexual kink that is not hurting anyone. Is it really that bad?

I'm sure they have forgiven you a lot and still love you. Can you forgive them and still love them?
There is no good advice for your situation, its entirely up to you how you handle it. Sorry.

 

[Amy/Ash]

Can you forgive them and still love them?

I do love them, I'm not sure it can ever be the same again. but I guess they knew that when they told us.
We had a good life but I can't help thinking back to what we might have missed out on. I'm 25, this has been going on 15 years. I think back to the times we were home on a weekend alone with Dad because she had gone away for the weekend. Now we know where she was. I had to miss out on my things or my brother on his things because he couldn't manage to get us to both. She was having sex with other people while this was happening.
When I start to understand and accept a little bit more things pop up that put me back in a dark space.
But I'm here to learn about their lifestyle and hopefully become somewhat accepting of it so I can maintain some sort of relationship with them.

 

[nariah1957]

I do love them, I'm not sure it can ever be the same again. but I guess they knew that when they told us.
We had a good life but I can't help thinking back to what we might have missed out on. I'm 25, this has been going on 15 years. I think back to the times we were home on a weekend alone with Dad because she had gone away for the weekend. Now we know where she was. I had to miss out on my things or my brother on his things because he couldn't manage to get us to both. She was having sex with other people while this was happening.
When I start to understand and accept a little bit more things pop up that put me back in a dark space.
But I'm here to learn about their lifestyle and hopefully become somewhat accepting of it so I can maintain some sort of relationship with them.

I PMed you.

 

[dickhurtz]

Basically it comes down to you and your parents and how you feel about them and they you. I can understand that you may have lost some respect for your parents over this issue but think about all the other things your parents have done for you. I assume they have kept you fed and clothed and given you a home with all the love and attention you need. Along with that they have raised you, educated you, taken you on holidays, supplied all the toys, sports gear and fashion that a young boy/girl needs and protected you, looked after you when you were sick. Not to mention the sacrifices they made to do all this for you. So they have a strange sexual kink that is not hurting anyone. Is it really that bad?

I'm sure they have forgiven you a lot and still love you. Can you forgive them and still love them?
There is no good advice for your situation, its entirely up to you how you handle it. Sorry.

why the guilt trip? i don't see how parents raise there off-springs is relevant here, good or bad. apparently, her mother put her interests above her kids. not participating in her kid s lives, 100%, without good reason, is unacceptable.

my dad missed almost all of my bb & FB games because he was working two, & sometimes, 3 jobs. but, not because he was out banging the neighbor.

she feels cheated & she has every right to feel that way. there is no excuse for the mom to disrespect her kids, to that level. i know i'd be pissed.

 

[bonaqo]

wow this is so hard to read and process. pretty much sums up my wife's (and myself) fear for doing cuckolding for real. it has remained our fantasy so far but we are diving more into exhibitionism etc that would also cause similar kind of questions from our kids or family.
sex is complicated, marriage is complicated, parenthood is complicated. I hope you and your brother can forgive your parents and don't judge them by their sexual kinks and preference.

 

[wocka-wocka]

First, the love both your parents have for you hasn’t changed.
Second, your parents are human beings, not that much different from yourself. They found something that makes them both happy.
Third, I strongly suggest seeking professional help processing this with your parents.
Fourth, there Is plenty of love to go around. I am not denying this is unusual. Just that your parents won’t love you less.

 

[SmallHubbyTexas]

So to be totally upfront, I know nothing about this lifestyle other than what I've learnt in the last week.
To cut a very long, complicated and emotional story really short my parents came out to my brother and I at a family dinner last week.
They have been in whatever you actually call it, a hot wife relationship for like 15 years.
She's had the same boyfriend for about 8 years even though she sees other people as well.
She now wants him to be a bigger part of their lives and by default our lives and include him at dinners, birthdays etc.
Dad has apparently been celibate for the entire time. What man doesn't have sex for 15 years and stay with that person?
It's absolutely gross to hear these things about your own parents but given I love them I'm willing to learn to see if we can salvage some sort of relationship moving forward.
It's great to say that we'll be respectful and accepting of other peoples private lives in theory but here we are living this reality and I'm struggling. I wish they didn't tell us. Why did they have to tell us?
How do we process this? How can I look at them the same? How can I look at her boyfriend? How can I have respect for Dad when he's being trampled over?
As I said, I'm here to learn. Has anyone gone through the same? How did you deal with it?
I'm actually intrigued and fascinated bu this lifestyle now I know it exists but at the same time am disgusted and confused why people would want it, especially the man being essentially cheated on repeatedly.
Please be gentle on me if I've said anything offensive, it truly is unintentional.

I have been in this type of relationship for 5 years. I love my wife for more reasons than sex. I would never have married her if our love was just sex.

My wife started this journey because I asked her too. She asked me my “no way in hell” fantasy and I told her it was her cuckolding me. She eventually did it, her present to me on my birthday. She felt guilty about it but saw that I was ok with it. Not very long she was with him frequently and had added boyfriends. On the first Valentine’s Day, she caged me and let me watch.

I can’t be mad at her, I asked her to do it, and even after that first time, I told her it was ok to continue.

I am happy that we started this journey. I am happy that she is enjoying herself. I am a little sad I am not having sex with her, but the joy I am getting knowing she is enjoying herself out weighs it.

I would say talk with your parents to help figure out your emotions on this.

 

[CONST65]

I have been in this type of relationship for 5 years. I love my wife for more reasons than sex. I would never have married her if our love was just sex.

My wife started this journey because I asked her too. She asked me my “no way in hell” fantasy and I told her it was her cuckolding me. She eventually did it, her present to me on my birthday. She felt guilty about it but saw that I was ok with it. Not very long she was with him frequently and had added boyfriends. On the first Valentine’s Day, she caged me and let me watch.

I can’t be mad at her, I asked her to do it, and even after that first time, I told her it was ok to continue.

I am happy that we started this journey. I am happy that she is enjoying herself. I am a little sad I am not having sex with her, but the joy I am getting knowing she is enjoying herself out weighs it.

I would say talk with your parents to help figure out your emotions on this.

First i have to say My wife and i g
Have been in.tbe lifestyle for 5 yesrs There is times im.locked up.or denied tessed etc. Sometimes for a week.or two sometimes onlyna hand job or blow jon but as far as not having penetrated sex Absolutely not im.not going to.be married of i dont ever get any if it a month or.two.i could do it but not any longet

 

[Bulldave07]

So to be totally upfront, I know nothing about this lifestyle other than what I've learnt in the last week.
To cut a very long, complicated and emotional story really short my parents came out to my brother and I at a family dinner last week.
They have been in whatever you actually call it, a hot wife relationship for like 15 years.
She's had the same boyfriend for about 8 years even though she sees other people as well.
She now wants him to be a bigger part of their lives and by default our lives and include him at dinners, birthdays etc.
Dad has apparently been celibate for the entire time. What man doesn't have sex for 15 years and stay with that person?
It's absolutely gross to hear these things about your own parents but given I love them I'm willing to learn to see if we can salvage some sort of relationship moving forward.
It's great to say that we'll be respectful and accepting of other peoples private lives in theory but here we are living this reality and I'm struggling. I wish they didn't tell us. Why did they have to tell us?
How do we process this? How can I look at them the same? How can I look at her boyfriend? How can I have respect for Dad when he's being trampled over?
As I said, I'm here to learn. Has anyone gone through the same? How did you deal with it?
I'm actually intrigued and fascinated bu this lifestyle now I know it exists but at the same time am disgusted and confused why people would want it, especially the man being essentially cheated on repeatedly.
Please be gentle on me if I've said anything offensive, it truly is unintentional.

Hi Amy/Ash, as a bull who is in similar relationships with other couples, I had the invitation with only one couple being in the lifestyle for the last 20 years. I have been invited to the couples’ family Christmas and New Year’s parties. However, our agreement amongst other friends and family members, I am simply a co-worker friend of the husband from the past. It was also the story with my long term gf inviting her to the parties as well. She was not into the whole lifestyle thing. She knew I was, but held no judgement about it. This couple protected their children, who are married adults, with now grandkids. So any personal sexual lifestyle information was fully out of the question with any of the family members. It def reduced any awkward moments. I’m sorry you’re going through something like this. To me I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either. And if any couple would ask me how to communicate with their kids about their lifestyle, I would tell them don’t. I would take some other persons advice above and maybe talk to a professional about it. Good luck to you! 🤞

 

[wisebull4u]

Hi Amy/Ash,
Thank you for sharing your story. This is emotionally a very difficult time for you. But with the correct counseling , therapy, communication and boundaries with your parents/well wishers/therapist you can learn to accept that you your brother and your parents are all grown adults. Your parents had to wear many hats growing up and until you and your brother were grown up adults capable of understanding this lifestyle and sexual aspects of it, they would have choose to not revel their other life. But the fact that they came out to you and your brother is an indication that they love you and feel like it’s the time to embrace and acknowledge their choices of living life . They have always been there for you I’m sure. No matter what and you and your brother will always been a priority for them. How your interactions will be with your moms boyfriend is a topic that needs to be discussed between your mom and dad and then presented to you and your brother among other questions/topics/concerns you both may have. At this point let it sink in. Give it time and work through the emotional aspect of it. I wish you both good luck.

 

[CONST65]

So to be totally upfront, I know nothing about this lifestyle other than what I've learnt in the last week.
To cut a very long, complicated and emotional story really short my parents came out to my brother and I at a family dinner last week.
They have been in whatever you actually call it, a hot wife relationship for like 15 years.
She's had the same boyfriend for about 8 years even though she sees other people as well.
She now wants him to be a bigger part of their lives and by default our lives and include him at dinners, birthdays etc.
Dad has apparently been celibate for the entire time. What man doesn't have sex for 15 years and stay with that person?
It's absolutely gross to hear these things about your own parents but given I love them I'm willing to learn to see if we can salvage some sort of relationship moving forward.
It's great to say that we'll be respectful and accepting of other peoples private lives in theory but here we are living this reality and I'm struggling. I wish they didn't tell us. Why did they have to tell us?
How do we process this? How can I look at them the same? How can I look at her boyfriend? How can I have respect for Dad when he's being trampled over?
As I said, I'm here to learn. Has anyone gone through the same? How did you deal with it?
I'm actually intrigued and fascinated bu this lifestyle now I know it exists but at the same time am disgusted and confused why people would want it, especially the man being essentially cheated on repeatedly.
Please be gentle on me if I've said anything offensive, it truly is unintentional.

First if thats there lifestyle so be it my wife is a hotwife she diesnt have a boyfriend but does have 3 guys that she sees one of them.a out once a month but we do have sex but i dint think.anyone should bring the boyfriend girlfriend etc into.that families lives

 

[toolman2c]

So to be totally upfront, I know nothing about this lifestyle other than what I've learnt in the last week.
To cut a very long, complicated and emotional story really short my parents came out to my brother and I at a family dinner last week.
They have been in whatever you actually call it, a hot wife relationship for like 15 years.
She's had the same boyfriend for about 8 years even though she sees other people as well.
She now wants him to be a bigger part of their lives and by default our lives and include him at dinners, birthdays etc.
Dad has apparently been celibate for the entire time. What man doesn't have sex for 15 years and stay with that person?
It's absolutely gross to hear these things about your own parents but given I love them I'm willing to learn to see if we can salvage some sort of relationship moving forward.
It's great to say that we'll be respectful and accepting of other peoples private lives in theory but here we are living this reality and I'm struggling. I wish they didn't tell us. Why did they have to tell us?
How do we process this? How can I look at them the same? How can I look at her boyfriend? How can I have respect for Dad when he's being trampled over?
As I said, I'm here to learn. Has anyone gone through the same? How did you deal with it?
I'm actually intrigued and fascinated bu this lifestyle now I know it exists but at the same time am disgusted and confused why people would want it, especially the man being essentially cheated on repeatedly.
Please be gentle on me if I've said anything offensive, it truly is unintentional.

Everyone has choices, ur dad loves her completely, and much rather share her or even be left out of the sex with her he wants, than be without her. My x wife was the love of my life, i stayed with her for 3yrs after i knew she was fucking coworkers, even while being denied year or about. only when i wake her finger fuck her would she let my yearning cock in her, b4 that i reconized a eXtra slick pre used pussy, but was in denial..

 

[Jeanswatcher]

I dont get it why your parents would feel the need to tell their children, the inclusion of her lover could easily have been overcome as we have occasionally, introduce him as your dads friend. I agree this can also be risky as our daughter did ask me once: "is he your friend or mums" yes she had an idea, females tend to get a vibe, men dont.

Quite why you needed to know "Dad has apparently been celibate for the entire time"..... the answer could be rather simple: he likes it this way or he wouldnt remain with your mother, that or he is stupid. You should know the answer to this one.

Practicing this lifestyle can be so electric and exciting and keep a relationship and marriage sweet but i do not understand the need to tell all and definately not your kids.

 

[Biguy916]

My wife has been fucking other guys for over 35 years and she would never want our children to know about her relationships with her boyfriends
Our children know her boyfriends but do not know about the sexual relationships
They just think they are our friends