Happily married

Lapster said:
It is always possible, but do you really want to be with a woman that would cheat on you? Now I'm being serious because some guys are turned on by their woman cheating on them. From my readings these relationships have a very limited shelf life before their woman is off permanently with a new guy.

My suggestion is to bring it up in conversation as a probe, such as an article on cuckold, stag/vixen increasing in popularity (which is very true) then ask her what do you think of that type of relationship.

Alternatively, I think from one thing you mentioned in your post you have a girl who has high emotional and relationship intelligence; she gave you the ability to track her so she is being transparent with nothing to hide to reassure you so you won't get jealous.

So if I'm right about that, my recommended course of action (which could be combined with the probe conersation) is to be direct with her during a time where you know you will have enough time to talk it out completely once you drop "the bomb" (I'm kidding because there are worse sexual desires to be insecure about). A lazy Sunday morning drinking coffee reading the paper together is an example if you do that. You don't want to not have the time to go through it thoroughly then leaving the subject hanging.

Also think through what you are going to say in what order etc. Plan the conversation. Do not wing it expecting good results. I suggest starting off with a phrase like "I have something i want to tell you about myself" then go on to express your feelings of apprehension of telling her for fear of being rejected by her. Then say, honestly I get from your post, how important she is to you which is where that fear comes from. Then be straight with her about your particular desire. If you know how or suspect why you developed this particular desire tell her.

Most people don't know where their particular kink "imprinted". It is typically some event(s) in your childhood. It took me maybe 20 years for me to come up with suspected events related to how I probably came to my voyeur stag/vixen variation (I was curious about sex, but afraid to get in trouble from a stern father so I always recruited a friend to join me with a girl since trouble enjoys company. This started for me very young checking out the neighborhood girls anatomy and was reinforced when my first orgasm with a girl in my teen years was a threesome blow job.). If you don't know tell her that you don't know why it turns you on.

One very important note. Make it clear this is not about trying to swap her getting guys for you getting girls if that is true. It is hard for someone that has standard exclusive monogamous relationship boundaries to grasp how someone could be turned on by them "cheating". They then discard this "implausible" reasoning and become suspicious, coming up quickly with "more plausible motivations" for you asking. Such as, you want to use it as cover to see other women and replace them.

You want her to come away from your intro with as clear an understanding as is possible that this turns you on and you absolutely have no ulterior motives. Then describe a particular scenario she has starred in your thoughts that you have masturbated to thinking of her. You could lead this off with a statement like "I know it is probably difficult for you to understand how something like this could turn anyone on but for instance a fantasy I recently mastubated to was".. then tell her.

Then ask her what she is thinking about what you just told her. THEN SHUT UP AND LISTEN CLOSELY TO HER ANSWER (DO NOT INTERRUPT HER UNLESS IT IS TO ANSWER HER QUESTIONS).

Very important here to really concentrate on her words and body language to understand her feelings as best you can. Too many guys don't understand for most women this is a process of a minimum of days, to weeks, to months to never. They think if they keep talking a sales pitch it will turn the tide. It will not.

Alot of women, if not most, have a vision of marriage that isn't what you are describing to her. So it is going to take time for her to create a new vision of your marriage, which if she really loves you she will try to understand or at least appreciate the courage it took for you to broach the subject with her, even if she isn't initially interested in entertaining your desires. I say initially because there is a high probability that sometime down the road a situation will press itself (a hot guy from school she wanted that pops up in your lives) that she will want to explore so now she can see the benefits of being with you.

Now you could also be surprised and she could be all in and tell you how hot it sounds. This is a pretty common outcome from my experience.

Be honest and sincere with her and your own emotions around the subject, the latter i have found to be more difficult. You will learn alot about the strength and variables of your relationship. I have had this conversation with multiple women in my life. I never had one run screaming from the room. Most loved the idea as they start thinking about all the possibilities.

Then if she seems not totally disgusted (always a possibility, but very rare), ask if you can do some fantasy talk during sex of your fantasy. If you have a relationship that is on a good foundation I predict you will get to some variation of what you want eventually. If it turns out your relationship isn't as strong as you believed, it is always better to learn that earlier rather than later. If her reaction is bad you will have to make decisions of can you live without your sexual desire. It could change her feelings too, but I think that is extremely unlikely unless she has dogmatic religious beliefs (I have been with a number of conservative church girls doing 3somes and 4somes).

Good luck. Keep us posted on your progress. Lots of experience on this board to help you in your journey.
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Excellent advice
 
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No new updates unfortunately. I’ve just took a month break from porn and I couldn’t resist coming back. She told me yesterday that she’s out with her friends drinking next weekend so I’m very excited!
 
I am still absolutely obsessed with this, my obsessed has lead me to calling numerous girls on babestation to chat with them about it, most of them are really intrigued and offer advice. The fantasy is becoming stronger and to be honest darker, thoughts of her with multiple men instead of one. The thought of her getting absolutely ruined by a man twice her size etc. I seriously need to man up and tell her soon.
 
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footfandave said:
Hi, I'm new here so please take it easy on me.

My wife is a petite and very pretty brunette in her 30s, she's skinny and has an amazing bum.

She has no idea about my fantasy of her getting fucked by other lads and I'm shit scared to tell her in case it fucks our relationship.

When she goes out with her friends all I can think about is lads trying to pull her but I want her to flirt back and see what happens.

She recently had her hen do, we share our locations, I tracked her over the river from where her hotel is and there are no bars in the area she was in so I'd love to think that was her at some lad's hotel room.

Anyway does anyone have any advice on how I can get her to shag other lads without actually telling her about my fantasy? I don't want to watch I just want to know she's out there doing it.
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advice,, you have to tell her All, after drinking atca party, club, as u she is really into it , stop and Bravely tell her and how long u have wanted her to explore a bigger cock,., if you wait til you cum you will chicken out.. it's what you want,, Tell her.
 
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hotenoughforme said:
Perhaps you should do what Jon Day did, tell a close friend of hers what you so desperately want, that you'd like her to help without telling your wife, and report back to you. She might even tell you about that hen night. Keep your wife a little sex starved in the days before she goes out, so she's on edge and horny when she does go out.
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Yes, with drinks, a starved horny wife will never turn down a studly guys cock offer..
 
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footfandave said:
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there, she finally had enough and told her ex she wanted to leave him, I think he only found out she was cheating after they’d broke up, she is obviously very good at hiding it. Maybe once she was single the excitement wore off with the lad from the gym.

If she tells me anymore about her friends cheating or being naughty while they’re out I’ll be much more positive.

That sounds like a good plan actually, I like that and totally agree if that’s what she’s doing then it’s extremely hot and a huge turn on. I never get jealous, I just don’t feel any jealously.

Without actually telling her about my fantasy, does anyone have any advice on how I can increase the chances of her cheating on me on Saturday, I want her to embrace any good looking lads who approach her. The sad thing is I’m picking her up at the end of the night so either she goes back to some guy’s then back to town or fucks someone in a toilet.
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arrange for her girlfriend to pick her up and spend the nite with, then she has a overnite pass,
 
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footfandave said:
This is partly why the thought of her cheating turns me on so much, like how exciting it must feel for her to get all of that attention and someone appreciate her so much that they want to fuck her.

I’d love to tell her about my dream while I’m fucking her and how much it drives me insanely horny.

Her past cheating gives me hope she will love all of this.
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grow some balls,,, tell her, has she ever been Blacked? would you want her to have the ultimate thrill of being a Blacked white wife?? Yes you can DM me,
 
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Like the one above my comment already said. You are heading down a very dangerous road for a thrill that is not worth risking your marriage.
Also you tell since 1y that you need to tell your wife soon, you wanted to do it on vacation but obviously you didn't because you never mentioned it again.
You are full of inconsistencies, I don't even know how "happily married" and "cheating behind husbands back" is brought together. You are either happily married and share a common interest for adventures of your wife, where you two are on board (maybe not fully to keep a certain spark), but in general you are on the same page.
You sir are wanking to the process of a wife cheating and then leaving the marriage, and this is not what I would consider "happily married". You are actively trying to sabotage your marriage
 
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