Needing help/advice with morality issue....

[hotwifeluvr]

A lot of people sharing the pews with you are into kinkier stuff than you imagine, and almost certainly, some of them are enjoying sex outside the bounds of their marriage, with or without consent and agreement. But people don't talk about it in "polite" society, much less among people in their church!

Here's the real problem you face. She would probably open up to it over time. Maybe not, but highly likely in my experience. But then later she could feel guilty, she might confide in a friend who might encourage her to feel guilty, tell her that it is sinful and that. When that happens, the most likely outcome is that she would blame you, because that's a lot easier than shouldering the guilt herself. Next step, get rid of you, and thus get rid of the guilt.

I would advise against proceeding forward with actual events unless she, more or less on her own, comes to see things differently, and even then, be careful.

Consider discussing with her if she feels that fantasies are sinful. If she will indulge in the fantasy with you, that can actually be very satisfying. In time, that alone may make her less sensitive to the guilt.

 

[hotwife4u2njoy]

A lot of people sharing the pews with you are into kinkier stuff than you imagine, and almost certainly, some of them are enjoying sex outside the bounds of their marriage, with or without consent and agreement. But people don't talk about it in "polite" society, much less among people in their church!

Here's the real problem you face. She would probably open up to it over time. Maybe not, but highly likely in my experience. But then later she could feel guilty, she might confide in a friend who might encourage her to feel guilty, tell her that it is sinful and that. When that happens, the most likely outcome is that she would blame you, because that's a lot easier than shouldering the guilt herself. Next step, get rid of you, and thus get rid of the guilt.

I would advise against proceeding forward with actual events unless she, more or less on her own, comes to see things differently, and even then, be careful.

Consider discussing with her if she feels that fantasies are sinful. If she will indulge in the fantasy with you, that can actually be very satisfying. In time, that alone may make her less sensitive to the guilt.

Thank you soo much for your input, greatly appreciated.

 

[Rajesh Krishna]

Morality and religion are not the same thing. As long as you do not harm anyone else, anything you can impose on your conscience is moral. There are many immoral religious people. I think there may be another reason why your wife doesn't want it.

Exactly 👍

 

[ayamaharider]

Hi, we are a married couple who have been talking about a fantasy we both share of which my wife either has sex with another man and I watch or join making it a 3some. I really want to see her with a BBC, a whole other fantasy of mine!!! We are not sure if this will transpire or not, as the last hurdle is one of morality. We both have Christian beliefs, however I'm in no way as religious as she is nor her fathers side of the family. My wife is reluctant as she just feels that it is immoral for her to have sex with anyone other than me as she is my wife, and feels it is immoral for me to desire sharing her with another man. I just don't know how to say what I feel which is we are both adults, married, and therefore we should be able to discuss and do whatever we both agree to, not matter what others may think. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what the whole "morals" are. I feel each person has their own set of morals. Is this wrong? Are morals based more in religious beliefs or teachings? Is there a Christian moral code? I feel our personal married life is only our business, not others, unless we choose to invite them into it. I guess what we are looking for is advice or insight on what others have done, if they had to overcome a morality issue on either partners part. My wife is in no way a prude, however she has only been sexual with 4 men, 2 high school boyfriends, her first husband, and now me. We want to thank you in advance for any input or advice.

My first question is have you discussed it with her? I share very similar concerns as well. It certainly is a process. From what i gather is that you have not fully been honest with her in regards to your fantasies. I personally know is very hard as i have been there. Find the courage and tell her in case you have not.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

Another suggestion I have, and I would suggest having this conversation separate from any direct conversation about it applying to you and her specifically. More of a philosophical discussion. She may understand what you're getting at, but I think it's better if it is discussed separately, without it having and agenda of it's own.

Is morality flexible? Does what is considered moral and sinful change over time? The answer is clearly "yes", although many Christians will insist it is "no". OK, but then how is it that in biblical times, men had several wives. Someone (I forget who now, as I've fallen away from it, intentionally), but some patriarch of the Bible offered up his daughters to be raped by a gang that was threatening to ...... him instead. And all of the Old Testament prohibitions against pork, the requirement to wash hands up to the elbows and all kinds of stuff that we now consider obsolete.

The standard answer is "that was done away with at the Cross." OK, then why wasn't the 10 Commandments done away with. Why do we cherry pick which things were "done away with"? And OK, if the 10C are special, let's discuss that. What about the 4th Commandment? Why do most churches now observe Sunday as Sabbath rather than the 7th day? There are all manner of explanations for this, but they are rather tortured. Some will say it's to honor the resurrection, but where in the Bible does it say we should change the 10C in order to honor something, regardless of what it is? And even if it was changed, why do very few Christians now practice sabbath keeping as it is written (commanded) in the 4th commandment? "In it thou shalt not do any work!"

And let's talk about Abraham. Christianity, along with Judaism and Islam are consider Abrahamic faiths, so he must surely be someone we can consider when discussing religious morals. Abraham's wife Sarah, because she couldn't have children, suggested to Abraham that he fuck her slave and have a ...... with her, and Abraham went for it. And by the way, her slave?! Today, I think most of us would agree that slavery is an abhorrent sin! But there in Genesis 16, Sarah offers up her Egyptian salve for Abraham to fuck. No mention of asking the slave if she was cool with that, the assumption being she had no say-so in the matter. Today, we'd define that as .......

I wouldn't structure this conversation as a debate or an attempt to persuade. Just stuff to think about, an interesting philosophical discussion. Whatever her answer is, don't argue the point. She'll continue to think about this for the days to come afterward is my guess. The answer is obvious if someone thinks about it honestly, but if pushed to defend a position, they can dig in their heels and then have an interest in being "right."

If she, or anyone else, does happen to have an answer that defends the status quo of Christianity today, and is not tortured logic, I'd genuinely be interested in hearing it.

 

[Anonymousrachel]

This was one of the main reasons why I was hesitant at first. Being not only in tune with my faith but also employed by a Catholic Church I had a hard time swallowing this idea that my husband brought up to me.
It took me a lot of thinking and prayer to really look at what is considered a marriage in religious terms. Part of the vows we took were to be faithful and honor each other. The faithful part comes to mind for most people when they are talking about the idea of hotwifing. What is faithful to one person is not necessarily faithful to another. Again, it is in different interpretations where we find what we “believe”.
I’m doing this still having the belief that I am faithful to my husband in doing this together and he is faithful to me in the same way. When it becomes unfaithful is when sneaking and lying is involved. That is when you can damage a marriage.
One person I talked to that helped explained to me that God loves people having sex! How else is the future of the church going to grow?! Why else would he have made it such an amazing experience.
That’s just my two cents. Hopefully it actually helps a bit. I understand the frustration. My husband went for 3 years before I even thought seriously about it at all.
Good luck!

 

[Demented_Donny]

Thank you for the reply, input, and advice. I myself may be able to release a little of the religious belief, actually I have, however it will be a big step for my wife. We really appreciate the insight....

at the end of the day this fantasy is getting between her and her god. she will feel judged by it, and may resent you for bringing it up to compromise her religious beliefs. the bible for the most part condemns polygamy so there is no real out there. I think this one you may have to take on the chin.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

Bingo. When I was growing up, there was a book making the rounds in Christian circles called "God Invented Sex". The title says it all, but basically it a sex manual that Christians were "allowed" to read, and which exhorted them to enjoy the experience.

One person I talked to that helped explained to me that God loves people having sex! How else is the future of the church going to grow?! Why else would he have made it such an amazing experience.

 

[Sgt Ray]

I think, for many men, their morailty ends when their cock is hard and they're watching their wife or GF suckung or fucking another guys cock..

Morality has its place. But is backseat when they see her being a slut with a Big cock fuck buddy

 

[hotwife4u2njoy]

My first question is have you discussed it with her? I share very similar concerns as well. It certainly is a process. From what i gather is that you have not fully been honest with her in regards to your fantasies. I personally know is very hard as i have been there. Find the courage and tell her in case you have not.

Hi, yes we have been discussing this for over 3 years. We both share the fantasy and through our talks have gotten very close to a decision to try this, it's a moral issue that is a stumbling block. We are trying to realize, or should we say we now feel that morals are more of an independent choice that each individual makes or sets for themselves more so a "code" set in religious belief. As we think about morals this way, now it seems less of a moral issue and more of a decision we can make based upon both of us desiring it and both of us agreeing upon it. I think we are making ground.....

 

[hotwife4u2njoy]

Bingo. When I was growing up, there was a book making the rounds in Christian circles called "God Invented Sex". The title says it all, but basically it a sex manual that Christians were "allowed" to read, and which exhorted them to enjoy the experience.

Hmmm....interesting. Thank you for the input.

 

[hotwife4u2njoy]

Another suggestion I have, and I would suggest having this conversation separate from any direct conversation about it applying to you and her specifically. More of a philosophical discussion. She may understand what you're getting at, but I think it's better if it is discussed separately, without it having and agenda of it's own.

Is morality flexible? Does what is considered moral and sinful change over time? The answer is clearly "yes", although many Christians will insist it is "no". OK, but then how is it that in biblical times, men had several wives. Someone (I forget who now, as I've fallen away from it, intentionally), but some patriarch of the Bible offered up his daughters to be raped by a gang that was threatening to ...... him instead. And all of the Old Testament prohibitions against pork, the requirement to wash hands up to the elbows and all kinds of stuff that we now consider obsolete.

The standard answer is "that was done away with at the Cross." OK, then why wasn't the 10 Commandments done away with. Why do we cherry pick which things were "done away with"? And OK, if the 10C are special, let's discuss that. What about the 4th Commandment? Why do most churches now observe Sunday as Sabbath rather than the 7th day? There are all manner of explanations for this, but they are rather tortured. Some will say it's to honor the resurrection, but where in the Bible does it say we should change the 10C in order to honor something, regardless of what it is? And even if it was changed, why do very few Christians now practice sabbath keeping as it is written (commanded) in the 4th commandment? "In it thou shalt not do any work!"

And let's talk about Abraham. Christianity, along with Judaism and Islam are consider Abrahamic faiths, so he must surely be someone we can consider when discussing religious morals. Abraham's wife Sarah, because she couldn't have children, suggested to Abraham that he fuck her slave and have a ...... with her, and Abraham went for it. And by the way, her slave?! Today, I think most of us would agree that slavery is an abhorrent sin! But there in Genesis 16, Sarah offers up her Egyptian salve for Abraham to fuck. No mention of asking the slave if she was cool with that, the assumption being she had no say-so in the matter. Today, we'd define that as .......

I wouldn't structure this conversation as a debate or an attempt to persuade. Just stuff to think about, an interesting philosophical discussion. Whatever her answer is, don't argue the point. She'll continue to think about this for the days to come afterward is my guess. The answer is obvious if someone thinks about it honestly, but if pushed to defend a position, they can dig in their heels and then have an interest in being "right."

If she, or anyone else, does happen to have an answer that defends the status quo of Christianity today, and is not tortured logic, I'd genuinely be interested in hearing it.

Wow, an amazing look at this......thank you.

 

[hotwife4u2njoy]

A lot of people sharing the pews with you are into kinkier stuff than you imagine, and almost certainly, some of them are enjoying sex outside the bounds of their marriage, with or without consent and agreement. But people don't talk about it in "polite" society, much less among people in their church!

Here's the real problem you face. She would probably open up to it over time. Maybe not, but highly likely in my experience. But then later she could feel guilty, she might confide in a friend who might encourage her to feel guilty, tell her that it is sinful and that. When that happens, the most likely outcome is that she would blame you, because that's a lot easier than shouldering the guilt herself. Next step, get rid of you, and thus get rid of the guilt.

I would advise against proceeding forward with actual events unless she, more or less on her own, comes to see things differently, and even then, be careful.

Consider discussing with her if she feels that fantasies are sinful. If she will indulge in the fantasy with you, that can actually be very satisfying. In time, that alone may make her less sensitive to the guilt.

We have made a lot of ground in the religious aspect of this in both of our personal beliefs. It is seemingly more of a moral issue until we looked at the idea of morals being more of an individuals "code" more so than that of a religious code. Before we both, wife more than husband, had thought morals were to be based on religious belief and our morals reflected our religion. When we look at morals more along the line of a personal code of our beliefs we can look at this sexual fantasy becoming a reality without moral issue because we both share the fantasy and feel if we both agree to try such a thing and both of us at that point being consenting adults then it is our business and our business only. Not sure if this makes sense, but it is what we have been discussing the past few days. Thank you for your input.

 

[CuckmeCleveland]

‘Another suggestion I have…’

Fine suggestions! This area definitely requires more attention. Thank you for this.

 

[Stag]

Hi, we are a married couple who have been talking about a fantasy we both share of which my wife either has sex with another man and I watch or join making it a 3some. I really want to see her with a BBC, a whole other fantasy of mine!!! We are not sure if this will transpire or not, as the last hurdle is one of morality. We both have Christian beliefs, however I'm in no way as religious as she is nor her fathers side of the family. My wife is reluctant as she just feels that it is immoral for her to have sex with anyone other than me as she is my wife, and feels it is immoral for me to desire sharing her with another man. I just don't know how to say what I feel which is we are both adults, married, and therefore we should be able to discuss and do whatever we both agree to, not matter what others may think. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what the whole "morals" are. I feel each person has their own set of morals. Is this wrong? Are morals based more in religious beliefs or teachings? Is there a Christian moral code? I feel our personal married life is only our business, not others, unless we choose to invite them into it. I guess what we are looking for is advice or insight on what others have done, if they had to overcome a morality issue on either partners part. My wife is in no way a prude, however she has only been sexual with 4 men, 2 high school boyfriends, her first husband, and now me. We want to thank you in advance for any input or advice.

So she had sex before marriage. And sex with someone she may or may not have had feelings for. That is no more a "sin" than sex outside of marriage with husbands knowledge. Be safe. Dont let anyone tell you what's right and wrong for you.

 

[The Arranger]

Hi, we are a married couple who have been talking about a fantasy we both share of which my wife either has sex with another man and I watch or join making it a 3some. I really want to see her with a BBC, a whole other fantasy of mine!!! We are not sure if this will transpire or not, as the last hurdle is one of morality. We both have Christian beliefs, however I'm in no way as religious as she is nor her fathers side of the family. My wife is reluctant as she just feels that it is immoral for her to have sex with anyone other than me as she is my wife, and feels it is immoral for me to desire sharing her with another man. I just don't know how to say what I feel which is we are both adults, married, and therefore we should be able to discuss and do whatever we both agree to, not matter what others may think. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what the whole "morals" are. I feel each person has their own set of morals. Is this wrong? Are morals based more in religious beliefs or teachings? Is there a Christian moral code? I feel our personal married life is only our business, not others, unless we choose to invite them into it. I guess what we are looking for is advice or insight on what others have done, if they had to overcome a morality issue on either partners part. My wife is in no way a prude, however she has only been sexual with 4 men, 2 high school boyfriends, her first husband, and now me. We want to thank you in advance for any input or advice.

No where in the bible does it say a wife cannot have sex with more than one man. Several guys have more than one wife in the bible. David had an affair. Solomon had a thousand concubines. This idea of marriage being one man and one woman is new.

heck the bible said it was ok to sell your family into slavery. Male members the term was seven years. Female members including a wife was for good.

 

[BigJake]

Hi, we are a married couple who have been talking about a fantasy we both share of which my wife either has sex with another man and I watch or join making it a 3some. I really want to see her with a BBC, a whole other fantasy of mine!!! We are not sure if this will transpire or not, as the last hurdle is one of morality. We both have Christian beliefs, however I'm in no way as religious as she is nor her fathers side of the family. My wife is reluctant as she just feels that it is immoral for her to have sex with anyone other than me as she is my wife, and feels it is immoral for me to desire sharing her with another man. I just don't know how to say what I feel which is we are both adults, married, and therefore we should be able to discuss and do whatever we both agree to, not matter what others may think. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what the whole "morals" are. I feel each person has their own set of morals. Is this wrong? Are morals based more in religious beliefs or teachings? Is there a Christian moral code? I feel our personal married life is only our business, not others, unless we choose to invite them into it. I guess what we are looking for is advice or insight on what others have done, if they had to overcome a morality issue on either partners part. My wife is in no way a prude, however she has only been sexual with 4 men, 2 high school boyfriends, her first husband, and now me. We want to thank you in advance for any input or advice.

she has very specific ideas about what a wife is and how she should behave. Now it is up to you to lead her to the next step. and go little by little.
Share a dream you had about her (yes make it up) make it just a little naughty than you know she is comfortable with. and then ask her to share. she may do so without asking. start there.

 

[Candaulist]

You can tell her that a 3some will bring her closer to god, as she will be screaming "Oh god! Oh god" all the time... 😀

 

[mipete]

No where in the bible does it say a wife cannot have sex with more than one man. Several guys have more than one wife in the bible. David had an affair. Solomon had a thousand concubines. This idea of marriage being one man and one woman is new.

heck the bible said it was ok to sell your family into slavery. Male members the term was seven years. Female members including a wife was for good.

On holy bible, all these have problems due to It.
First in Moisés laws, god said that after 7 years the slave must be freedom.
Sara was jealous of the sex of Agar with Abraham and expulsed her and hers .......
David kills a person to get the adulterer woman and was punished by god losing Two of his kids and has a lot of manifestation againts him on his Kingdom.
Solomon finished crazy convinced for his concubines of other religions.
Its easy try to manipulate the bible for say the contrary and very bad this traps.
Since Génesis GOD says one man one woman. Yes, you can find some exceptions like periods of wars with a few mans and a lot of womans, as a country needs a Big natality appears polígam during many time. The same with slavery, some workers freedom were like slavers or worst. God lets slavery during some times due to many reasons but with límites like 7y.


Christianism is not into sex with many people, It shows the problem of these mindsets.

But yes, I'm real catholic and the idea of my pinay wife fucked by others is enormous. The pleasure should be giant.

 

[owlmale]

My wife also believes the lifestyle is immoral. I hounded her so much that four years she agreed have sex with another man one time only. By the time the virus hit, we had brought six men to our bed. Even though she liked it, including my kinky desires, she believes that we are both immoral.

I assume they make her cum which I`m sure makes her less relucent.