Needing help/advice with morality issue....
- Thread starter hotwife4u2njoy
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hotwifeluvr
Male
A lot of people sharing the pews with you are into kinkier stuff than you imagine, and almost certainly, some of them are enjoying sex outside the bounds of their marriage, with or without consent and agreement. But people don't talk about it in "polite" society, much less among people in their church!
Here's the real problem you face. She would probably open up to it over time. Maybe not, but highly likely in my experience. But then later she could feel guilty, she might confide in a friend who might encourage her to feel guilty, tell her that it is sinful and that. When that happens, the most likely outcome is that she would blame you, because that's a lot easier than shouldering the guilt herself. Next step, get rid of you, and thus get rid of the guilt.
I would advise against proceeding forward with actual events unless she, more or less on her own, comes to see things differently, and even then, be careful.
Consider discussing with her if she feels that fantasies are sinful. If she will indulge in the fantasy with you, that can actually be very satisfying. In time, that alone may make her less sensitive to the guilt.
Here's the real problem you face. She would probably open up to it over time. Maybe not, but highly likely in my experience. But then later she could feel guilty, she might confide in a friend who might encourage her to feel guilty, tell her that it is sinful and that. When that happens, the most likely outcome is that she would blame you, because that's a lot easier than shouldering the guilt herself. Next step, get rid of you, and thus get rid of the guilt.
I would advise against proceeding forward with actual events unless she, more or less on her own, comes to see things differently, and even then, be careful.
Consider discussing with her if she feels that fantasies are sinful. If she will indulge in the fantasy with you, that can actually be very satisfying. In time, that alone may make her less sensitive to the guilt.
Rajesh Krishna
Couple
ayamaharider
Couple
My first question is have you discussed it with her? I share very similar concerns as well. It certainly is a process. From what i gather is that you have not fully been honest with her in regards to your fantasies. I personally know is very hard as i have been there. Find the courage and tell her in case you have not.
hotwifeluvr
Male
Another suggestion I have, and I would suggest having this conversation separate from any direct conversation about it applying to you and her specifically. More of a philosophical discussion. She may understand what you're getting at, but I think it's better if it is discussed separately, without it having and agenda of it's own.
Is morality flexible? Does what is considered moral and sinful change over time? The answer is clearly "yes", although many Christians will insist it is "no". OK, but then how is it that in biblical times, men had several wives. Someone (I forget who now, as I've fallen away from it, intentionally), but some patriarch of the Bible offered up his daughters to be raped by a gang that was threatening to rape him instead. And all of the Old Testament prohibitions against pork, the requirement to wash hands up to the elbows and all kinds of stuff that we now consider obsolete.
The standard answer is "that was done away with at the Cross." OK, then why wasn't the 10 Commandments done away with. Why do we cherry pick which things were "done away with"? And OK, if the 10C are special, let's discuss that. What about the 4th Commandment? Why do most churches now observe Sunday as Sabbath rather than the 7th day? There are all manner of explanations for this, but they are rather tortured. Some will say it's to honor the resurrection, but where in the Bible does it say we should change the 10C in order to honor something, regardless of what it is? And even if it was changed, why do very few Christians now practice sabbath keeping as it is written (commanded) in the 4th commandment? "In it thou shalt not do any work!"
And let's talk about Abraham. Christianity, along with Judaism and Islam are consider Abrahamic faiths, so he must surely be someone we can consider when discussing religious morals. Abraham's wife Sarah, because she couldn't have children, suggested to Abraham that he fuck her slave and have a child with her, and Abraham went for it. And by the way, her slave?! Today, I think most of us would agree that slavery is an abhorrent sin! But there in Genesis 16, Sarah offers up her Egyptian salve for Abraham to fuck. No mention of asking the slave if she was cool with that, the assumption being she had no say-so in the matter. Today, we'd define that as rape.
I wouldn't structure this conversation as a debate or an attempt to persuade. Just stuff to think about, an interesting philosophical discussion. Whatever her answer is, don't argue the point. She'll continue to think about this for the days to come afterward is my guess. The answer is obvious if someone thinks about it honestly, but if pushed to defend a position, they can dig in their heels and then have an interest in being "right."
If she, or anyone else, does happen to have an answer that defends the status quo of Christianity today, and is not tortured logic, I'd genuinely be interested in hearing it.
Is morality flexible? Does what is considered moral and sinful change over time? The answer is clearly "yes", although many Christians will insist it is "no". OK, but then how is it that in biblical times, men had several wives. Someone (I forget who now, as I've fallen away from it, intentionally), but some patriarch of the Bible offered up his daughters to be raped by a gang that was threatening to rape him instead. And all of the Old Testament prohibitions against pork, the requirement to wash hands up to the elbows and all kinds of stuff that we now consider obsolete.
The standard answer is "that was done away with at the Cross." OK, then why wasn't the 10 Commandments done away with. Why do we cherry pick which things were "done away with"? And OK, if the 10C are special, let's discuss that. What about the 4th Commandment? Why do most churches now observe Sunday as Sabbath rather than the 7th day? There are all manner of explanations for this, but they are rather tortured. Some will say it's to honor the resurrection, but where in the Bible does it say we should change the 10C in order to honor something, regardless of what it is? And even if it was changed, why do very few Christians now practice sabbath keeping as it is written (commanded) in the 4th commandment? "In it thou shalt not do any work!"
And let's talk about Abraham. Christianity, along with Judaism and Islam are consider Abrahamic faiths, so he must surely be someone we can consider when discussing religious morals. Abraham's wife Sarah, because she couldn't have children, suggested to Abraham that he fuck her slave and have a child with her, and Abraham went for it. And by the way, her slave?! Today, I think most of us would agree that slavery is an abhorrent sin! But there in Genesis 16, Sarah offers up her Egyptian salve for Abraham to fuck. No mention of asking the slave if she was cool with that, the assumption being she had no say-so in the matter. Today, we'd define that as rape.
I wouldn't structure this conversation as a debate or an attempt to persuade. Just stuff to think about, an interesting philosophical discussion. Whatever her answer is, don't argue the point. She'll continue to think about this for the days to come afterward is my guess. The answer is obvious if someone thinks about it honestly, but if pushed to defend a position, they can dig in their heels and then have an interest in being "right."
If she, or anyone else, does happen to have an answer that defends the status quo of Christianity today, and is not tortured logic, I'd genuinely be interested in hearing it.
This was one of the main reasons why I was hesitant at first. Being not only in tune with my faith but also employed by a Catholic Church I had a hard time swallowing this idea that my husband brought up to me.
It took me a lot of thinking and prayer to really look at what is considered a marriage in religious terms. Part of the vows we took were to be faithful and honor each other. The faithful part comes to mind for most people when they are talking about the idea of hotwifing. What is faithful to one person is not necessarily faithful to another. Again, it is in different interpretations where we find what we “believe”.
I’m doing this still having the belief that I am faithful to my husband in doing this together and he is faithful to me in the same way. When it becomes unfaithful is when sneaking and lying is involved. That is when you can damage a marriage.
One person I talked to that helped explained to me that God loves people having sex! How else is the future of the church going to grow?! Why else would he have made it such an amazing experience.
That’s just my two cents. Hopefully it actually helps a bit. I understand the frustration. My husband went for 3 years before I even thought seriously about it at all.
Good luck!
It took me a lot of thinking and prayer to really look at what is considered a marriage in religious terms. Part of the vows we took were to be faithful and honor each other. The faithful part comes to mind for most people when they are talking about the idea of hotwifing. What is faithful to one person is not necessarily faithful to another. Again, it is in different interpretations where we find what we “believe”.
I’m doing this still having the belief that I am faithful to my husband in doing this together and he is faithful to me in the same way. When it becomes unfaithful is when sneaking and lying is involved. That is when you can damage a marriage.
One person I talked to that helped explained to me that God loves people having sex! How else is the future of the church going to grow?! Why else would he have made it such an amazing experience.
That’s just my two cents. Hopefully it actually helps a bit. I understand the frustration. My husband went for 3 years before I even thought seriously about it at all.
Good luck!
Demented_Donny
Male
at the end of the day this fantasy is getting between her and her god. she will feel judged by it, and may resent you for bringing it up to compromise her religious beliefs. the bible for the most part condemns polygamy so there is no real out there. I think this one you may have to take on the chin.
hotwifeluvr
Male
Bingo. When I was growing up, there was a book making the rounds in Christian circles called "God Invented Sex". The title says it all, but basically it a sex manual that Christians were "allowed" to read, and which exhorted them to enjoy the experience.
I think, for many men, their morailty ends when their cock is hard and they're watching their wife or GF suckung or fucking another guys cock..
Morality has its place. But is backseat when they see her being a slut with a Big cock fuck buddy
Morality has its place. But is backseat when they see her being a slut with a Big cock fuck buddy
Hi, yes we have been discussing this for over 3 years. We both share the fantasy and through our talks have gotten very close to a decision to try this, it's a moral issue that is a stumbling block. We are trying to realize, or should we say we now feel that morals are more of an independent choice that each individual makes or sets for themselves more so a "code" set in religious belief. As we think about morals this way, now it seems less of a moral issue and more of a decision we can make based upon both of us desiring it and both of us agreeing upon it. I think we are making ground.....
We have made a lot of ground in the religious aspect of this in both of our personal beliefs. It is seemingly more of a moral issue until we looked at the idea of morals being more of an individuals "code" more so than that of a religious code. Before we both, wife more than husband, had thought morals were to be based on religious belief and our morals reflected our religion. When we look at morals more along the line of a personal code of our beliefs we can look at this sexual fantasy becoming a reality without moral issue because we both share the fantasy and feel if we both agree to try such a thing and both of us at that point being consenting adults then it is our business and our business only. Not sure if this makes sense, but it is what we have been discussing the past few days. Thank you for your input.
Fine suggestions! This area definitely requires more attention. Thank you for this.
Stag
Couple
So she had sex before marriage. And sex with someone she may or may not have had feelings for. That is no more a "sin" than sex outside of marriage with husbands knowledge. Be safe. Dont let anyone tell you what's right and wrong for you.
No where in the bible does it say a wife cannot have sex with more than one man. Several guys have more than one wife in the bible. David had an affair. Solomon had a thousand concubines. This idea of marriage being one man and one woman is new.
heck the bible said it was ok to sell your family into slavery. Male members the term was seven years. Female members including a wife was for good.
she has very specific ideas about what a wife is and how she should behave. Now it is up to you to lead her to the next step. and go little by little.
Share a dream you had about her (yes make it up) make it just a little naughty than you know she is comfortable with. and then ask her to share. she may do so without asking. start there.
You can tell her that a 3some will bring her closer to god, as she will be screaming "Oh god! Oh god" all the time... 
On holy bible, all these have problems due to It.
First in Moisés laws, god said that after 7 years the slave must be freedom.
Sara was jealous of the sex of Agar with Abraham and expulsed her and hers son.
David kills a person to get the adulterer woman and was punished by god losing Two of his kids and has a lot of manifestation againts him on his Kingdom.
Solomon finished crazy convinced for his concubines of other religions.
Its easy try to manipulate the bible for say the contrary and very bad this traps.
Since Génesis GOD says one man one woman. Yes, you can find some exceptions like periods of wars with a few mans and a lot of womans, as a country needs a Big natality appears polígam during many time. The same with slavery, some workers freedom were like slavers or worst. God lets slavery during some times due to many reasons but with límites like 7y.
Christianism is not into sex with many people, It shows the problem of these mindsets.
But yes, I'm real catholic and the idea of my pinay wife fucked by others is enormous. The pleasure should be giant.
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