Not sure if this the right thread or forum but need to vent

hello all, I travel for work and wife stays at home with toddler plus she tutors high school kids and college kids. she is 42.
I had our house wired with a hidden security system and cameras and goal was to gather evidence in case of vandalism, breaking and entering or something like that.
We have been married for 14 years and she is post menopausal. That means she has been going through treatment because her libido has disappeared. Many other symptoms. But as I get ready to go back home after 2 weeks working a few states away I wanted to check security system to make sure the company did what they were supposed to do. All angles discussed, exterior and interior was done as agreed. The only thing was, I couldnt find footage for last week. If it has been running for a week there should be footage. This last this past sunday I noticed something odd and I think it is what I think it is but will not confront anyone yet. The short footage I was able to access, there is a very young boy walking in my living room. I dont know who the person is but a strange teenager or not older than 20 years old? naked? The wife sleeping with young guy? But she has no libido and just started treatment to try and get libido to come back. mystery. maybe I should have gone to a cheating forum but I ended up on your forum.
if you all have any thoughts or recommendations. about a better forum thank you in advance for providing that.
 
hello all, I travel for work and wife stays at home with toddler plus she tutors high school kids and college kids. she is 42.
I had our house wired with a hidden security system and cameras and goal was to gather evidence in case of vandalism, breaking and entering or something like that.
We have been married for 14 years and she is post menopausal. That means she has been going through treatment because her libido has disappeared. Many other symptoms. But as I get ready to go back home after 2 weeks working a few states away I wanted to check security system to make sure the company did what they were supposed to do. All angles discussed, exterior and interior was done as agreed. The only thing was, I couldnt find footage for last week. If it has been running for a week there should be footage. This last this past sunday I noticed something odd and I think it is what I think it is but will not confront anyone yet. The short footage I was able to access, there is a very young boy walking in my living room. I dont know who the person is but a strange teenager or not older than 20 years old? naked? The wife sleeping with young guy? But she has no libido and just started treatment to try and get libido to come back. mystery. maybe I should have gone to a cheating forum but I ended up on your forum.
if you all have any thoughts or recommendations. about a better forum thank you in advance for providing that.
Well it’s pretty obvious what went on otherwise why was he naked?
What you don’t say is what your reaction was. Horrified? Turned on? Mix of the two?
What sort of advice are you looking for? For a lot of guys on here the scenario you describe would be their dream come true.
Lynn
 
You’ve already got the proof that you need. A guy walking around your house naked.. self explanatory!! I agree with #lynnandhubby ☝️☝️What was your overall reaction seeing that small part but knowing there is a lot more that happened?? At first I could understand feeling angry, but did you ever start to feel anything different later? Did the thought of your wife having sex with another and younger guy excite you or turn you on in any way?? It sure would for me!! And I’d have to admit that knowing or being able to watch and hear what’s going on without your wife or anyone else being aware that you actually know about it, is even more exciting to me! I’m guessing that you hired a company to do the security installation, so my question would be did your wife know you were having this done? You also mentioned that there was a weeks worth of video missing and that it was only a partial short video clip when you seen the guy naked. My question and thoughts would automatically go towards the guy, or guys that did the installation! They would know and have the ability to edit the video. Then the question becomes whether or not the guys that did the installation, ended up telling your wife about it.. You also brought up about your wife’s libido being nonexistent. What you have to always consider is that that can always change. Especially if she has a reason for it to become rekindled, like say a young guy hitting on her, teasing her, flirting with her, paying extra special attention to her, for example! Another reason could simply come from her finding out that you had hidden cameras put in, and that she was going to teach you a lesson. The lesson could go a couple of different ways, and in ways to make you think something is going on when in reality, nothing is!! First she tells the company to wait a week before activating the system, making you question what you might have missed. And secondly, telling a young guy to walk in that room naked. And in reality, she may have not even been in the house, or might have never seen him naked herself, or that maybe she did but that was as far as it all went. Of course you can’t ignore the real possibility that there is something going on, maybe a lot of things going on! She could be doing whatever it takes for her to get her libido back, for you and your relationship. Who knows?? But the point is simple, what feelings are you having thinking about what she might be doing and that you might be able to watch for yourself? But at the current moment, don’t lose sight that you haven’t actually seen or heard anything involving her, yet! Would you like to? Does it turn you on if you think or imagine her being sexually involved with one of her young students?? For the majority of us here, you’re sitting on a golden opportunity!!
 
If she has started bioidentical hormone replacement therapy and has gotten her first pellet inserted a few weeks or so ago, she is probably horny as a 4 balled Tomcat about now. Depending on how high her levels jump when Suz gets a pellet inserted, she may masturbate 3 or 4 times a day or be on Double list looking for someone to fuck. HRT works!
 
You’ve already got the proof that you need. A guy walking around your house naked.. self explanatory!! I agree with #lynnandhubby ☝️☝️What was your overall reaction seeing that small part but knowing there is a lot more that happened?? At first I could understand feeling angry, but did you ever start to feel anything different later? Did the thought of your wife having sex with another and younger guy excite you or turn you on in any way?? It sure would for me!! And I’d have to admit that knowing or being able to watch and hear what’s going on without your wife or anyone else being aware that you actually know about it, is even more exciting to me! I’m guessing that you hired a company to do the security installation, so my question would be did your wife know you were having this done? You also mentioned that there was a weeks worth of video missing and that it was only a partial short video clip when you seen the guy naked. My question and thoughts would automatically go towards the guy, or guys that did the installation! They would know and have the ability to edit the video. Then the question becomes whether or not the guys that did the installation, ended up telling your wife about it.. You also brought up about your wife’s libido being nonexistent. What you have to always consider is that that can always change. Especially if she has a reason for it to become rekindled, like say a young guy hitting on her, teasing her, flirting with her, paying extra special attention to her, for example! Another reason could simply come from her finding out that you had hidden cameras put in, and that she was going to teach you a lesson. The lesson could go a couple of different ways, and in ways to make you think something is going on when in reality, nothing is!! First she tells the company to wait a week before activating the system, making you question what you might have missed. And secondly, telling a young guy to walk in that room naked. And in reality, she may have not even been in the house, or might have never seen him naked herself, or that maybe she did but that was as far as it all went. Of course you can’t ignore the real possibility that there is something going on, maybe a lot of things going on! She could be doing whatever it takes for her to get her libido back, for you and your relationship. Who knows?? But the point is simple, what feelings are you having thinking about what she might be doing and that you might be able to watch for yourself? But at the current moment, don’t lose sight that you haven’t actually seen or heard anything involving her, yet! Would you like to? Does it turn you on if you think or imagine her being sexually involved with one of her young students?? For the majority of us here, you’re sitting on a golden opportunity!!
thank for the elaborate explanation. my mind was blown. so many nuances. You really know about this topic. My reaction was I had told her I dont own her so whatever a female wants to do a man cannot stop her from doing it anyway, so go ahead. I have been there. Women ended up havingn sex with me and poor husband had no clue. So before we got married I said: Do what you want BUT "TELL ME IN ADVANCE" Never do anything behind my back because I see it as dishonesty. I just want to make sure we stay together for the sake of the child. No interest in watching her with anyone. She can do whatever. And yes I heard that once they do HRT they will be on fire as @JaknSuz says. Great! Reality is I can get even younger women for myself. I did want to understand the whole cuck mindset because I am interested in pursuing other married ladies. your message explained a lot. thank you.
 
If she has started bioidentical hormone replacement therapy and has gotten her first pellet inserted a few weeks or so ago, she is probably horny as a 4 balled Tomcat about now. Depending on how high her levels jump when Suz gets a pellet inserted, she may masturbate 3 or 4 times a day or be on Double list looking for someone to fuck. HRT works!
really? ok then she'll be busy. 4 balled tomcat, funny.
 
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You’ve already got the proof that you need. A guy walking around your house naked.. self explanatory!! I agree with #lynnandhubby ☝️☝️What was your overall reaction seeing that small part but knowing there is a lot more that happened?? At first I could understand feeling angry, but did you ever start to feel anything different later? Did the thought of your wife having sex with another and younger guy excite you or turn you on in any way?? It sure would for me!! And I’d have to admit that knowing or being able to watch and hear what’s going on without your wife or anyone else being aware that you actually know about it, is even more exciting to me! I’m guessing that you hired a company to do the security installation, so my question would be did your wife know you were having this done? You also mentioned that there was a weeks worth of video missing and that it was only a partial short video clip when you seen the guy naked. My question and thoughts would automatically go towards the guy, or guys that did the installation! They would know and have the ability to edit the video. Then the question becomes whether or not the guys that did the installation, ended up telling your wife about it.. You also brought up about your wife’s libido being nonexistent. What you have to always consider is that that can always change. Especially if she has a reason for it to become rekindled, like say a young guy hitting on her, teasing her, flirting with her, paying extra special attention to her, for example! Another reason could simply come from her finding out that you had hidden cameras put in, and that she was going to teach you a lesson. The lesson could go a couple of different ways, and in ways to make you think something is going on when in reality, nothing is!! First she tells the company to wait a week before activating the system, making you question what you might have missed. And secondly, telling a young guy to walk in that room naked. And in reality, she may have not even been in the house, or might have never seen him naked herself, or that maybe she did but that was as far as it all went. Of course you can’t ignore the real possibility that there is something going on, maybe a lot of things going on! She could be doing whatever it takes for her to get her libido back, for you and your relationship. Who knows?? But the point is simple, what feelings are you having thinking about what she might be doing and that you might be able to watch for yourself? But at the current moment, don’t lose sight that you haven’t actually seen or heard anything involving her, yet! Would you like to? Does it turn you on if you think or imagine her being sexually involved with one of her young students?? For the majority of us here, you’re sitting on a golden opportunity!!
no she wasn't aware of the security system. installed while she was away with mother in law and daughter. but everything is possible. what if she forgot something, drove back and ended up meeting people in the house. They had a code I gave them. Then she met the installers or one of them and installer leaked it to her [as you said]. I dont see the need to tell her everything I am doing to the place. she is not project managing anything so why brief her. But when a female wants shaft believe me, she will get one. Yeah who knows. I never get to scientific. females are hypergamous blah blah, but that means it goes bot ways. I end up catch side pussy too. Sometimes it is a neighbor lady she would never imagine. not because I am a player but women are aggressive. I just say: ok. in the garage? leaning on your honda van? where is hubby? How many guns does he own? They say dont you worry about it. thats life
 
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thank for the elaborate explanation. my mind was blown. so many nuances. You really know about this topic. My reaction was I had told her I dont own her so whatever a female wants to do a man cannot stop her from doing it anyway, so go ahead. I have been there. Women ended up havingn sex with me and poor husband had no clue. So before we got married I said: Do what you want BUT "TELL ME IN ADVANCE" Never do anything behind my back because I see it as dishonesty. I just want to make sure we stay together for the sake of the child. No interest in watching her with anyone. She can do whatever. And yes I heard that once they do HRT they will be on fire as @JaknSuz says. Great! Reality is I can get even younger women for myself. I did want to understand the whole cuck mindset because I am interested in pursuing other married ladies. your message explained a lot. thank you.
You’re welcome and I’m glad to help! I do have experience and I agree with how you’ve handled it! The great thing is that sometime down the road you do actually decide to be more involved, even if it’s just watching her, which is so fucking hot btw, she’ll already have been in the game and it will hopefully make it so much easier for you to become included. I’m like you in that I prefer to be informed in advance too, but I’ve learned that it’s not always going to work out that way due to a many number of things, and so I changed it that I’d like to know afterwards at least. And then I’d love to hear as many details as she would give me!
 
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Well it’s pretty obvious what went on otherwise why was he naked?
What you don’t say is what your reaction was. Horrified? Turned on? Mix of the two?
What sort of advice are you looking for? For a lot of guys on here the scenario you describe would be their dream come true.
Lynn
Dont know if I replied to your message. My reaction was none. I did not express anything to her if that is what you mean. But if you are asking if it turned me on, no. I felt aggravated since I had asked her to tell me this type of behavior in advance. I dont like surprises. well, I like good surprises.
But because she is my third wife, I had already given up jealousy and also that females will do whatever they want to anyway so, cool, just tell me.
Also tell your bore-friend to wrap his tinkle, avoid our bed, avoid swallowing anything not kosher, and finally, Im not sure I would want to pound her again. oh and if it does cross my mind to break her back again, an STD exam will be required. Yep it's a lot of requirements but maybe the better option would be to not have sex with her again. I will keep reading the forum here to see maybe I can be convinced that it's cool to watch her. Possibility? slim to none. But Im open minded [or am I?] I think Im a square and would love to think more like a modern man. unfortunately I already know Im not adopting the mindset. Great news is I support the men who got with the program, thank you for the comments, feedback and patience.
 
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hello all, I travel for work and wife stays at home with toddler plus she tutors high school kids and college kids. she is 42.
I had our house wired with a hidden security system and cameras and goal was to gather evidence in case of vandalism, breaking and entering or something like that.
We have been married for 14 years and she is post menopausal. That means she has been going through treatment because her libido has disappeared. Many other symptoms. But as I get ready to go back home after 2 weeks working a few states away I wanted to check security system to make sure the company did what they were supposed to do. All angles discussed, exterior and interior was done as agreed. The only thing was, I couldnt find footage for last week. If it has been running for a week there should be footage. This last this past sunday I noticed something odd and I think it is what I think it is but will not confront anyone yet. The short footage I was able to access, there is a very young boy walking in my living room. I dont know who the person is but a strange teenager or not older than 20 years old? naked? The wife sleeping with young guy? But she has no libido and just started treatment to try and get libido to come back. mystery. maybe I should have gone to a cheating forum but I ended up on your forum.
if you all have any thoughts or recommendations. about a better forum thank you in advance for providing that.
how long ago was this & has there been a repeat? if she is a tutor, there must be young guys there on a regular basis.
 
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is this what gets you excited? doesnt ring my bell though
Doesn’t sound like your cup of tea then. And if that’s the case the only logical thing to do would be to confront her with what you seen and tell her that it’s absolutely imperative that she comes clean with you and tells you the truth if she has any desire to save your marriage! There’s an old saying.. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. So it’s important that when you begin talking to her about it that you do so in a non threatening manner but in a way that you need to know what has happened and why? And then, and only then, can you decide if your marriage is worth saving and if her reasoning for it is something you can understand and relate to, from her point of view. Once you know that she’s cheating on you for certain, you’re the only one that can make the decision to seek counseling or to end the marriage. Sorry that you’re going through such a betrayal of your wedding vows, but be absolutely certain that she is in fact guilty before jumping to conclusions, but in my personal opinion I would have an almost impossible reason to believe anything else, regardless if she says that nothing has happened or is happening!!
 
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Doesn’t sound like your cup of tea then. And if that’s the case the only logical thing to do would be to confront her with what you seen and tell her that it’s absolutely imperative that she comes clean with you and tells you the truth if she has any desire to save your marriage! There’s an old saying.. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. So it’s important that when you begin talking to her about it that you do so in a non threatening manner but in a way that you need to know what has happened and why? And then, and only then, can you decide if your marriage is worth saving and if her reasoning for it is something you can understand and relate to, from her point of view. Once you know that she’s cheating on you for certain, you’re the only one that can make the decision to seek counseling or to end the marriage. Sorry that you’re going through such a betrayal of your wedding vows, but be absolutely certain that she is in fact guilty before jumping to conclusions, but in my personal opinion I would have an almost impossible reason to believe anything else, regardless if she says that nothing has happened or is happening!!
You sir are a genius. very high emotional intelligence. Very wise also.
To your comment: You are correct. Not my cup of tea. I want to be open minded though and in all candor, I joined to try and understand the rationale behind all forms of relationships. I am a very archaic person and very slow to catch up. I thought to myself: "Hey, maybe that is the trend we are all evolving to and as usual, I am just way behind the eight ball." Believe me I am trying.

The only thing that pops in my head is me slapping some other guy's wife's perineum with MY sack.
One caveat: We can record and he can enjoy watching later. I cannot process another pair of nuts in the same ambiance.

My mood goes south very quickly. My belief is, connecting with a female is such an intimate dish and it should be experienced by her and I.
Another sack should never be an ingredient in that salad.
As far as her and I? I will lick and bite her all over, drink her fluids [I know yuck, but when I am in that sexual mode, I cant control myself] Maybe there's something(s) wrong with me] However, she can golden shower me [no brown-storm though]

The challenge is, the possibility of sharing my woman does not resonate at all.
Early in life, I cant explain how it happened but I found myself getting close to attached females. Seemed natural and organic. No efforts on my part.
I am very aware that females are hypergamous and I have given all my women cart blanche from the first day of the relationship.

Want to go bang another dude? Of course, by all means! Would you like me to drop you off?
The only part I omit is, we are done now. Not because of the act but because she thought about it.
Why would I let her do it though? That is because I have no ownership right of her.

The way I see it, if a woman decides to do something, I should consider it done.
Only fools waste their time trying to stop females from acting on an urge.
The exit is certain but I will take my time until new arrangements are put in place and I would never be a prick.
When it comes to splitting anything, it will be done fairly and expeditiously and conscientiously. I don't believe having an ex as an enemy is smart.
 
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thank for the elaborate explanation. my mind was blown. so many nuances. You really know about this topic. My reaction was I had told her I dont own her so whatever a female wants to do a man cannot stop her from doing it anyway, so go ahead. I have been there. Women ended up havingn sex with me and poor husband had no clue. So before we got married I said: Do what you want BUT "TELL ME IN ADVANCE" Never do anything behind my back because I see it as dishonesty. I just want to make sure we stay together for the sake of the child. No interest in watching her with anyone. She can do whatever. And yes I heard that once they do HRT they will be on fire as @JaknSuz says. Great! Reality is I can get even younger women for myself. I did want to understand the whole cuck mindset because I am interested in pursuing other married ladies. your message explained a lot. thank you.
Hrt does work.my wife changed Lot revealing outfits. She had teo ear piecings zhe went to 6 . She is dyed redhead she shocked me when i went to do.her hair shd made a doible size contIner Ibasked why she saix my pussy hair is trimmmed nice and I want my PUSSY to match my hair Lot of other things changed S well
 
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20 yo's have a way of reviving one's libido even after menopause!! LOL Might be smarter if you were having discussions with your wife when in bed, and comfortable with each other rather than hidden video systems she has no idea about and talking to guys jerking off and suggesting their fantasies to you........Just thinkin'.........J (the wife)