Our first fight since starting the lifestyle.
- Thread starter Lisa and Nick
- Start date
So he thinks you're a slut? Who cares? Embrace it!! The real issue is why is he mad now? You're in the lifestyle and your wife does what you want so what are you mad about? I get the picture part as we tend to feel the same way but if we can't control the situation you don't go there.
It's funny because my wife and I have talked about this, if the pics found their way to family wouldn't that mean those people are running in some of theseame circles? We talked about that going to the local theaters what if we ran into someone we know? Then we step back and it was like if we ran into someone we know they're probably not going around telling people how they rather than adult theater to get there freak on and ran into us??
A lot of people here are going to just encourage you to do anything you like and ruin your marriage, because they just get off on women being slutty (I mean, I do too but I'll also offer some real advice). If you don't care about your husband or the marriage, then sure, its an easy choice, just keep doing whatever you want.
On the other hand, here's a bit of a reality check - unless your husband is an absolute cuck to the highest degree, I think most men in this lifestyle expect there are going to be some limitations on the wife playing. I mean, it's not much of a marriage if everyone just does anything they want at any time with no consideration for the other person's feelings. It's a bit of a black and white view to assume if it was his idea for your to play, then it's okay for you to take it to the farthest possible extreme. That's like your husband saying, "Why don't you spend some money on yourself; you deserve it," expecting you'll book a day at the spa and buy some new clothes, but instead you empty the bank account and buy a lambo, a mountain of cocaine and blow the rest gambling. You two need to talk and establish what the boundaries are.
It sounds like your husband is okay with you having multiple bulls, which seems like a reasonable amount of freedom. It is unclear exactly what set him off but I can kind of see how he might be upset, for various reasons or just overall, at how the situation got out of control. I would personally not want anyone to find out I was into wife-sharing, other than by us choosing to tell them. Having my wife photographed by random people at a club, naked and covered in cum would make me pretty nervous, even if its "unlikely" the pictures will get out. There is the possibility they could and the consequences could be significant.
I can also see how it might be disconcerting to have random unknown guys join in fucking your wife. I mean, some husbands would be totally cool with that / hope for it... but I think it is also reasonable if your husband expects you to play with known partners / more limited partners, where there is less fear of STDs or other things that could potentially go wrong, like some unknown guy stalking you, etc.
And of course your bulls are on your side - I don't know the situation but likely, they're just there to use you for their own entertainment and don't care about you or your long-term well-being like your husband does.
Ultimately, not saying what you did is necessarily right or wrong, or that your husband's feelings are unfounded - it is just a question of how much you want total freedom vs. whether you value the marriage and want to find out what your husband is comfortable with and where things cross a line for him. Calling you a slut for it seems like a poor way to articulate those feelings but maybe you can sit down and have a more constructive conversation about what part of it really bothered him and make a commitment to agree to some ground rules going forward.
On the other hand, here's a bit of a reality check - unless your husband is an absolute cuck to the highest degree, I think most men in this lifestyle expect there are going to be some limitations on the wife playing. I mean, it's not much of a marriage if everyone just does anything they want at any time with no consideration for the other person's feelings. It's a bit of a black and white view to assume if it was his idea for your to play, then it's okay for you to take it to the farthest possible extreme. That's like your husband saying, "Why don't you spend some money on yourself; you deserve it," expecting you'll book a day at the spa and buy some new clothes, but instead you empty the bank account and buy a lambo, a mountain of cocaine and blow the rest gambling. You two need to talk and establish what the boundaries are.
It sounds like your husband is okay with you having multiple bulls, which seems like a reasonable amount of freedom. It is unclear exactly what set him off but I can kind of see how he might be upset, for various reasons or just overall, at how the situation got out of control. I would personally not want anyone to find out I was into wife-sharing, other than by us choosing to tell them. Having my wife photographed by random people at a club, naked and covered in cum would make me pretty nervous, even if its "unlikely" the pictures will get out. There is the possibility they could and the consequences could be significant.
I can also see how it might be disconcerting to have random unknown guys join in fucking your wife. I mean, some husbands would be totally cool with that / hope for it... but I think it is also reasonable if your husband expects you to play with known partners / more limited partners, where there is less fear of STDs or other things that could potentially go wrong, like some unknown guy stalking you, etc.
And of course your bulls are on your side - I don't know the situation but likely, they're just there to use you for their own entertainment and don't care about you or your long-term well-being like your husband does.
Ultimately, not saying what you did is necessarily right or wrong, or that your husband's feelings are unfounded - it is just a question of how much you want total freedom vs. whether you value the marriage and want to find out what your husband is comfortable with and where things cross a line for him. Calling you a slut for it seems like a poor way to articulate those feelings but maybe you can sit down and have a more constructive conversation about what part of it really bothered him and make a commitment to agree to some ground rules going forward.
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Exactly how I feel, this is his problem!
Hon, I'd say, as a Bull in this LS for a very long time, that compromise is essential on both sides... your "bul" who allowed the 4 new strangers in on it was imho, out of line. And his self interest had nothing to fo with respect of your relationship, he's only thinking about your pussy. There needs to be respect from him for you And your hub, cuck or not, for sharing you in the first place if this is going to work harmoniously in the long term for all. It's fine if you are ok with being humiliated or "shamed" as in the club, but if things like that are going to happen in public all should be on the same page. Unseen repercussions are a real thing.
But to each their own, Just my 2 cents.
But to each their own, Just my 2 cents.
Thanks for your opinion! The 4 new guys were Everette's (a Bull my husband knows) friends. At the moment I didn't want to turn the guys away, so I just extended the party to them too! it felt natural. but i did not anticipate the pictures in the club! The walk of shame was hot though lol!
And by the way, i sure as hell wish you were in my neighborhood baby... you are one badd ass sexy woman and I'd Love to take care of you on the regular!😘😈
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I felt like I stayed in my lane the whole night, but the pictures were unexpected for sure! The loyalty I have as a hotwife with my Bulls is very special to me! I get it I guess about boundaries; I just feel like my husband is getting cold feet with all of this!
It might not be cold feet, but just not being kept in the loop... that's the foundation of all this. Talk about it openly and listen openly, and with Love.
My husband is being very childish with the name-calling and so much more, kind of why I am suspecting cold feet.
Yeah maybe seeming a little childish, He's just lashing out because he's hurt... unintentionally maybe, but your actions hurt him that all that is im sure.
Hmmm, all I know is that things are really rocky between us, worse than it has ever been...
I am honestly sorry to hear that... i hate to hear about this LS bringing trouble between couples. Give it time, and maybe you take a little break too.
My guess is things are going further than he expected and maybe he feels like he is losing you or that you're giving yourself over to your bulls and their friends to a level that is uncomfortable to him. Maybe he would have.... warmer feet? if things were a little less wild?
At the same time, sounds like he is handling it all in a really poor way. He may need an education in how to appropriately express his feelings.
Honestly, couples can end up in this same situation for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with the lifestyle - just poor communication of expectations / immature expression of feelings. Something that was potentially going to be an issue eventually anyway, even if you never got into sharing. All marriages go through growing pains though, so its possible you can sort it out and come out stronger if you're willing to both commit to constructively working it out rather than him name calling.
Could say something like - "I'm sorry if I took things too far and hurt you. The way you're communicating that to me now, calling me names, is not acceptable though. I'm willing to sit down and establish some future guidelines if you can let go of your anger and describe what upset you and where we want things to go in the future, so that everyone can have a good time."
Also - quite possible over time his anger will subside and he'll succumb to thinking about how fucking hot that all was haha.
It uhhh, might help us to understand the situation and provide better advice if we could see these pictures.
