Shes close but not close enough

[Rjb31]

Me and my partner started taking about me watching her with another guy/or girl about a year ago. We enjoyed the idea for a couple of months then she grew tired of it as she then said she had changed her mind. It got brought up a few times during sex but then she said it made her feel cheap and wanting to stop even talking about it.

Weve since brought it up again recently I've basically come clean to her and told her I cant stop my feeling of it and want to pursue it but of course not without her being 100%.

I'm not sure it will ever happen but how long did it take you guys to get to the point where there right up for it and how?

 

[whiskeytrot]

I guess all the answers will vary some what. For us it was just a few months, but that was swinging firstly. Then I realised that I enjoyed watching my wife more than me fucking someone else's wife. My wife couldn't really understand that at first but did it to give me pleasure. She really did enjoy what was a guilty pleasure for her. What the women need to understand is what they will get is not only exciting sex but a more attentive loving husband/partner through this lifestyle. Generally, once they get to understand the dynamics, then it's pleasure for all concerned.

 

[Ariess]

It's difficult to say how long it will take you. My experience has always been open from first meeting women as I always played from the start. The few times it was just us usually it took someone outside to convince them as they were attracted to others but felt bad about acting on it. If she is interested it would probably work best to start with someone she already has an attraction to, but then again it will depend how you and she both feel as sometimes that can end a good thing.

 

[Rjb31]

Thanks guys.

I 100% agree with the more loving attentive partner bit because when we
First mention it we had great fun with it and I was definitely more like that!

I mean I've only just briefly mention les it but not in so many words but she says that's that shes need more making love from us so she feels more wanted and loved by me before she can even discuss it.

Problem is I'm not sure how to even really bring it up properly!

 

[whiskeytrot]

Rjb31, she obviously doesn't realise that you are a member of such a web site? That might help later on in the process to look at the positives for a loving couple. You clearly want to see her with another guy, and I can tell you that it's a fabulous thing to experience if that's your thing, and it obviously is. It has brought my wife and I, much closer. She perfectly understands my pleasure in watching her with another guy and that's partly the reason she does it, and because she gets the pleasure of a sexual charged evening.
I suggest you carry on in small steps talking while making love. Perhaps using a larger vibrator and telling her it's someone else's cock of someone you both know and that he's well endowed. Small steps will lead to the ultimate goal of getting her fucked by another guy.

 

[Ariess]

If she is not comfortable with you yet she will definitely not be open to start. This is based on the little information you shared but I would assume by her response that she has not had many partners in which she isn't comfortable with herself yet. Possibly watching videos and trying different things would be the best place to start. I would recommend karma sutra first which is just you two as she may feel pressured if you jump right into gangbang or cuck videos. Once she shows interest in more kink would probably be the best time to suggest you guys try something more. With that in kind unless she is already into the scene it will be a process and patience will be key.

 

[Rjb31]

I give u bit more info.

Beginning of this year I mentioned to her that I'd love to watch her with another woman. She agreed but she had this thing in her mind that I just wanted to join in with another women. So she basically said to prove it was what I wanted it had to be a man first. I was shocked but really excited. Anyway weve done dildos, dirty talk about it watched porn etc so weve been quite involved in it but she came to that stage where she said it was all I was interested in sso weve had a break from it. But I've had the whole" it's not my thing and she doesn't like talking dirty it make her feeling like I'm using her as a sex toy. And now were at this stage.. where we have had a couple of months break from it and I've just sorted nudged at it again. To be honest shes had a few partners but do agree has very low confidence in her self

I'm at that edgy stage where I'm like do I bring it up or not but I'm driving my self made with it.

Yea patience in not my best skill hahaha.

Because we done all of the above u guys have mentioned I'm not sure if I just leave it or if I go for in it. But I do agree I need to go slow

 

[whiskeytrot]

Low in confidence is not uncommon. My wife suffers from it, and that turns them straight off from another man seeing them. Buy her stuff that is sexy, underwear or outer clothing that is revealing. Say how beautiful she looks. Take a few photos and somehow get them into the right arena. The other guys will compliment on how lovely she looks and hopefully she might even like one of those guys. Then try that line of seduction.
Where do you live in this World?