I was talking to my wife about what things motivate us to have sex, ie pleasure, emotional connection, stress release etc, and we both feel sexual pleasure is the main motivator for both of us. She said she could have "just sex" with someone else but worries about how she would feel after and doesnt want to regret doing it. I understand that and have similar questions/concerns about the first time. So I said what if I was having sex with her while another guy was playing with her tits. She said that would be fine. I think that would be low risk and maybe she would feel fine after and be ok trying more another time. Now I need to find a couple who is ok doing that. We've agreed to go to a swingers club and hope to find an event soon.