I’m married, late 20s. I’m into cuck/hotwife fantasies, but what complicates everything is my wife’s past cheating and ongoing mixed signals, many of which she initiates.
The Cheating (Full Context)
Earlier in our relationship, while we were together but not living in the same place full-time, I discovered messages between my wife and another man.
What stood out wasn’t just that she was talking to him — it was:
The messages showed:
When confronted, she admitted it crossed a line and that it was cheating. We had serious conversations, addressed it, and chose to stay together. However, the experience permanently changed how I interpret her comfort with attention from other men.
Since then, I’m hyper-aware of:
Early Signs (Before & After Cheating)
Even before the cheating, she had:
After the cheating, these themes did not disappear — they evolved.
“Daddy” and Money (Real Person, Not Fantasy)
There is a real older man, often referred to jokingly as “daddy,” who paid over $5,000 USD for custom content of her.
This wasn’t hidden from me.
What’s important:
This isn’t something I constantly push — it comes up naturally from her side.
Twitter / Attention Dynamic
We run a Twitter account where she posts images. I initially encouraged it partly for money, but I’m aware that I also enjoy:
She’s aware of this and participates willingly. We sometimes look at messages together.
Ongoing Sexual Dynamic
Our sex life includes:
A consistent pattern:
She has also:
Why This Is Confusing
Because of the cheating history, I struggle to tell whether:
This isn’t a one-time joke — these themes repeat over long periods, often initiated by her.
What I’m Asking
I’m not trying to rush or pressure her. I don’t want to manipulate her into anything. I’m trying to understand what these repeated signals actually mean.
For those with experience:
I’m looking for grounded advice, not encouragement to forse anything.
The Cheating (Full Context)
Earlier in our relationship, while we were together but not living in the same place full-time, I discovered messages between my wife and another man.
What stood out wasn’t just that she was talking to him — it was:
- the sexual nature of the messages
- the lack of boundaries
- the way he talked about wanting to have sex with her
- the way she did not shut it down clearly
The messages showed:
- flirting that escalated
- sexual implications about what he wanted to do with her
- familiarity and comfort that crossed relationship lines
When confronted, she admitted it crossed a line and that it was cheating. We had serious conversations, addressed it, and chose to stay together. However, the experience permanently changed how I interpret her comfort with attention from other men.
Since then, I’m hyper-aware of:
- how she reacts to sexual attention
- how she frames things as “joking”
- how often she brings up scenarios involving other men
Early Signs (Before & After Cheating)
Even before the cheating, she had:
- asked me unprompted if I’d want her to ...... with another man
- joked about non-monogamy
- framed sex as something men want from her
After the cheating, these themes did not disappear — they evolved.
“Daddy” and Money (Real Person, Not Fantasy)
There is a real older man, often referred to jokingly as “daddy,” who paid over $5,000 USD for custom content of her.
This wasn’t hidden from me.
What’s important:
- she brings him up herself
- she jokes about what he wanted
- she revisits scenarios involving him weeks or months later
- she frames things as “for money” or “if you’d let me”
- this happens sober, not only while drinking
This isn’t something I constantly push — it comes up naturally from her side.
Twitter / Attention Dynamic
We run a Twitter account where she posts images. I initially encouraged it partly for money, but I’m aware that I also enjoy:
- showing her off
- other men wanting her
- the validation and power dynamic
She’s aware of this and participates willingly. We sometimes look at messages together.
Ongoing Sexual Dynamic
Our sex life includes:
- dirty talk
- taboo joking
- porn together
- hypothetical scenarios involving other men
A consistent pattern:
- She’s relaxed and playful when it stays hypothetical
- She deflects when I ask directly what she actually wants
- She sometimes frames interest as “only for money” or “only with permission”
She has also:
- openly told me she made out with a female coworker
- spoken casually about it afterward
Why This Is Confusing
Because of the cheating history, I struggle to tell whether:
- this is fantasy she enjoys because it’s safe
- she’s testing boundaries slowly
- validation-seeking plays a role
- or she wants something more but avoids owning it
This isn’t a one-time joke — these themes repeat over long periods, often initiated by her.
What I’m Asking
I’m not trying to rush or pressure her. I don’t want to manipulate her into anything. I’m trying to understand what these repeated signals actually mean.
For those with experience:
- How did cheating history affect reading your partner’s intent?
- Did your partner avoid direct answers at first?
- How did you tell fantasy from real interest?
- Did backing off help things become clearer?
I’m looking for grounded advice, not encouragement to forse anything.
