Wife giving me mixed messages

buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
Hey everyone,

I haven't posted in a while as I hadn't gotten very far with persuading my wife to play. I've been checking this site continuously and I wanted to see if I can get some advice as I don't know where I am anymore.

At one point I we had not discussed about the cuckold lifestyle (or about her having sex with another guy) in a while but things heated up in the bedroom a few days ago and she was more than willing to try which got me excited again with the possibility that it may happen. Then a couple of days after that when we were being frisky in bed again bringing up the topic with the same seriousness as the previous day, she wasn't sure again and that it seemed to me it may not happen. I know these things may take time, but I'm getting the feeling that it's not going to happen. I've tried to get her to talk with other guys via messaging, but that she wouldn't. It seems when things start to get a little real for her, she backs off and I'm almost back to square one.

I guess my question is, has anyone been in a situation where your wife seems interested but had resisted quite a bit but eventually tried and liked it? Is there any hope? I'm on the cusp of either giving up completely or thinking I should give it a rest and allow her to possibly find it in her own way.

I appreciate any advice and thank you.
 
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Wifehot68

Well-Known Member
Feb 23, 2021
48
73
58
women are not going to be telling you directly, that they want anything , you have to gauge her interest .

I know women are totally different than us men , how they think, feel, etc…they are not predictable as men…

I am in the same boat as you, I was in the same position, where sometimes The mood is for this, other times I wonder if I should anything more about it…I learnt to leave the subject when you get the message maybe thats not what she wants…she will feel not rushed or pushed and that will work later for our advantage…

I have to admit, this takes time, and its not for someone who is in a hurry to complete a task on a deadline. And I learnt to be patient, very patient

I started to see progress in wife response when the subject is brought now, she tries to diffuse it at times when she feels I am zooming on it…but I feel it is changing, we didn’t do anything other than that, but thats by itself is a huge progress on our end…
 

buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
Appreciate the responses guys. Great insight already.

Bobby75, I like the massage idea (which I had in mind at one point) if she would ever agree to it. Having another man rub her all over without intercourse could possibly get her thinking more for sure. We are going on holiday abroad soon and I'll see if there are any opportunities for something like this. Even if I'm not there to experience it, it would still be a huge turn on knowing that someone else is touching/rubbing her naked skin.

Wifehot68, I understand exactly what you mean. Sometimes she seems so sure that she wants to do it but when I try to discuss later about setting something up then that's when she feels pressured. I realise this won't happen with me trying to find someone, but for her to be in a position to make her own decision to want to do it. Although she has stated that she enjoys the fantasy but does not feel she could actually go through with it. This was a little disappointing for me at first but made me think that I was pushing her via a path that she doesn't want to take. I understand that completely so instead it would be better to be in a situation where it would be her decision.

It's good to know you are in a similar situation and there is possibly hope yet. I can at least enjoy the fantasy with her without the pressure of setting anything up and just get her used to it as we go along. Would a bigger size dildo work I wonder?

Thanks again guys for the response and I look forward to hearing some more input.
 

btweets

Male
Dec 14, 2019
1,743
3,990
396
Aurora, Illinois
Appreciate the responses guys. Great insight already.

Bobby75, I like the massage idea (which I had in mind at one point) if she would ever agree to it. Having another man rub her all over without intercourse could possibly get her thinking more for sure. We are going on holiday abroad soon and I'll see if there are any opportunities for something like this. Even if I'm not there to experience it, it would still be a huge turn on knowing that someone else is touching/rubbing her naked skin.

Wifehot68, I understand exactly what you mean. Sometimes she seems so sure that she wants to do it but when I try to discuss later about setting something up then that's when she feels pressured. I realise this won't happen with me trying to find someone, but for her to be in a position to make her own decision to want to do it. Although she has stated that she enjoys the fantasy but does not feel she could actually go through with it. This was a little disappointing for me at first but made me think that I was pushing her via a path that she doesn't want to take. I understand that completely so instead it would be better to be in a situation where it would be her decision.

It's good to know you are in a similar situation and there is possibly hope yet. I can at least enjoy the fantasy with her without the pressure of setting anything up and just get her used to it as we go along. Would a bigger size dildo work I wonder?

Thanks again guys for the response and I look forward to hearing some more input.
In your particular situation, I really like the idea of getting her a massage, or an erotic massage even better, but most importantly, I like the idea of you not being present either way. Women are much more likely to let their guard down, and more open to lowering their inhibitions when first.. They’re alone and you’ve somehow, someway, made it perfectly clear to her, that you’re 100% completely comfortable, and even turned on, just thinking about her getting one. Secondly, to convince her that it’s totally normal to allow herself to fully relax, and to enjoy the entire experience. You might even subtly suggest to her that as far as you’re concerned, there are absolutely no limits, guilt or shame, when it comes to her receiving, and feeling the deepest of pleasures! Naturally some wine beforehand is always a bonus. The idea of all this is to create and plant thoughts in her mind. Even if you only start out with getting her a basic massage, be sure to find and hire a fit and handsome stud. Along with all the suggestions you already mentioned, it’ll almost certainly assure her to get excited, therefore enhancing her experience. The mind, particularly her mind, is the most important sexual organ! Without asking too many questions afterwards, ask her how she’s feeling and how her massage was. Pay close attention to her body language and how she verbally responds. Make it a priority to feel her pussy asap, primarily to see just how wet she is as well as how horny! No matter what she says, her body can’t lie and will tell the real truth. Depending on how she reacted after the first one, and hopefully you have added that situation into your fantasies and roleplaying, will be essential in determining whether or not there’s even a possible opportunity for not only another massage, but eventually a better one. You might actually want to arrange a couple more basic massages just to keep her interest peaked. If and once you can get her right where you want her, and especially while you’re on vacation, find a recommended and/or reputable masseuse. A total stud in every way, that knows how to give a great sensual seductive massage, but more importantly, is highly skilled in the art of seduction.
 

Bobby75

Male
Verified
Feb 11, 2017
485
834
253
Cape Cod Ma
Appreciate the responses guys. Great insight already.

Bobby75, I like the massage idea (which I had in mind at one point) if she would ever agree to it. Having another man rub her all over without intercourse could possibly get her thinking more for sure. We are going on holiday abroad soon and I'll see if there are any opportunities for something like this. Even if I'm not there to experience it, it would still be a huge turn on knowing that someone else is touching/rubbing her naked skin.

Wifehot68, I understand exactly what you mean. Sometimes she seems so sure that she wants to do it but when I try to discuss later about setting something up then that's when she feels pressured. I realise this won't happen with me trying to find someone, but for her to be in a position to make her own decision to want to do it. Although she has stated that she enjoys the fantasy but does not feel she could actually go through with it. This was a little disappointing for me at first but made me think that I was pushing her via a path that she doesn't want to take. I understand that completely so instead it would be better to be in a situation where it would be her decision.

It's good to know you are in a similar situation and there is possibly hope yet. I can at least enjoy the fantasy with her without the pressure of setting anything up and just get her used to it as we go along. Would a bigger size dildo work I wonder?

Thanks again guys for the response and I look forward to hearing some more input.
The end goal was sex with the massage and he delivered. She couldn’t resist. She had some liquid courage before which helped make it easier For her to get into it. Get into it she did ! Here is a pic of him. 8AE872BF-E8BF-4833-99D6-0A45A50F8B25.jpeg
 

Sgt Ray

Male
Sep 30, 2019
3,611
5,591
493
Nj
Hey everyone,

I haven't posted in a while as I hadn't gotten very far with persuading my wife to play. I've been checking this site continuously and I wanted to see if I can get some advice as I don't know where I am anymore.

At one point I we had not discussed about the cuckold lifestyle (or about her having sex with another guy) in a while but things heated up in the bedroom a few days ago and she was more than willing to try which got me excited again with the possibility that it may happen. Then a couple of days after that when we were being frisky in bed again bringing up the topic with the same seriousness as the previous day, she wasn't sure again and that it seemed to me it may not happen. I know these things may take time, but I'm getting the feeling that it's not going to happen. I've tried to get her to talk with other guys via messaging, but that she wouldn't. It seems when things start to get a little real for her, she backs off and I'm almost back to square one.

I guess my question is, has anyone been in a situation where your wife seems interested but had resisted quite a bit but eventually tried and liked it? Is there any hope? I'm on the cusp of either giving up completely or thinking I should give it a rest and allow her to possibly find it in her own way.

I appreciate any advice and thank you.
Try going silent about it for a while. See if she instigates convo about it. Liquor always helps. Take her out for some drinks...
Relax, IF it happens, you'll love it...and for sure, she knows that also.
 

buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
In your particular situation, I really like the idea of getting her a massage, or an erotic massage even better, but most importantly, I like the idea of you not being present either way. Women are much more likely to let their guard down, and more open to lowering their inhibitions when first.. They’re alone and you’ve somehow, someway, made it perfectly clear to her, that you’re 100% completely comfortable, and even turned on, just thinking about her getting one. Secondly, to convince her that it’s totally normal to allow herself to fully relax, and to enjoy the entire experience. You might even subtly suggest to her that as far as you’re concerned, there are absolutely no limits, guilt or shame, when it comes to her receiving, and feeling the deepest of pleasures! Naturally some wine beforehand is always a bonus. The idea of all this is to create and plant thoughts in her mind. Even if you only start out with getting her a basic massage, be sure to find and hire a fit and handsome stud. Along with all the suggestions you already mentioned, it’ll almost certainly assure her to get excited, therefore enhancing her experience. The mind, particularly her mind, is the most important sexual organ! Without asking too many questions afterwards, ask her how she’s feeling and how her massage was. Pay close attention to her body language and how she verbally responds. Make it a priority to feel her pussy asap, primarily to see just how wet she is as well as how horny! No matter what she says, her body can’t lie and will tell the real truth. Depending on how she reacted after the first one, and hopefully you have added that situation into your fantasies and roleplaying, will be essential in determining whether or not there’s even a possible opportunity for not only another massage, but eventually a better one. You might actually want to arrange a couple more basic massages just to keep her interest peaked. If and once you can get her right where you want her, and especially while you’re on vacation, find a recommended and/or reputable masseuse. A total stud in every way, that knows how to give a great sensual seductive massage, but more importantly, is highly skilled in the art of seduction.
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe I can get her to try a sensual massage whilst on holiday. We're going abroad next week and I'll see if I can organise something like that. I've also suggested to her that if she wants to flirt and feel she wants to move ahead with someone that she has my blessing. The only thing is if she would go for the massage thing. I will suggest and see what she says. Thanks.
 

buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
Try going silent about it for a while. See if she instigates convo about it. Liquor always helps. Take her out for some drinks...
Relax, IF it happens, you'll love it...and for sure, she knows that also.
I had in mind that I need to stop suggesting it and allow it to happen naturally but the circumstances need to come up.
 

Wifehot68

Well-Known Member
Feb 23, 2021
48
73
58
I had in mind that I need to stop suggesting it and allow it to happen naturally but the circumstances need to come up.
I agree with the posts, dont bring it up for a while, and let her bring it up again , contrive a situation if you will , which might make this flow easier …I do that, and i am getting sentences now like “ I know you would like it “ …and glad at least progress is made, again…slowly…if you are a type A like me…trying to be type D to have this happen, might work !! :)
 
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buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
I agree with the posts, dont bring it up for a while, and let her bring it up again , contrive a situation if you will , which might make this flow easier …I do that, and i am getting sentences now like “ I know you would like it “ …and glad at least progress is made, again…slowly…if you are a type A like me…trying to be type D to have this happen, might work !! :)
Thanks for the advice. Are you on the same boat as me by any chance? Have you guys yet to take the plunge into the lifestyle? The last time my wife and I was talking seriously, she thought about our friends who she believed probably wouldn't do something like this. It made me think about our surroundings and thought about the lack of our social life also. We need to be more outgoing which should help her open up more.
 
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Wifehot68

Well-Known Member
Feb 23, 2021
48
73
58
I think we might be…my wife is quite conservative and due to he upbringing sex wasn’t something she talked about…she is not into porn or the bar scene etc…

I agree with you about friends, I think it probably would be better not to get involved with friends, but rather someone you both will get to know well.

I think it wont work , if we the men looked for the right person for wives, but they will find the one they think they might like….
 

jwf114

Male
Mar 31, 2022
330
528
136
I am in a similar situation as well, only probably even less chance than you. This is a great thread with tons of good advice. Thanks to all that have contributed and good luck to the op! Im rooting for you.
 
Last edited:

Jamesass

Male
Verified
Jan 23, 2022
1,651
3,061
386
56
Hey everyone,

I haven't posted in a while as I hadn't gotten very far with persuading my wife to play. I've been checking this site continuously and I wanted to see if I can get some advice as I don't know where I am anymore.

At one point I we had not discussed about the cuckold lifestyle (or about her having sex with another guy) in a while but things heated up in the bedroom a few days ago and she was more than willing to try which got me excited again with the possibility that it may happen. Then a couple of days after that when we were being frisky in bed again bringing up the topic with the same seriousness as the previous day, she wasn't sure again and that it seemed to me it may not happen. I know these things may take time, but I'm getting the feeling that it's not going to happen. I've tried to get her to talk with other guys via messaging, but that she wouldn't. It seems when things start to get a little real for her, she backs off and I'm almost back to square one.

I guess my question is, has anyone been in a situation where your wife seems interested but had resisted quite a bit but eventually tried and liked it? Is there any hope? I'm on the cusp of either giving up completely or thinking I should give it a rest and allow her to possibly find it in her own way.

I appreciate any advice and thank you.
get a buddy to stay the night tell her he got car trouble he sleep on the couch then when you go to have sex if she talking about it she might go threw with it being hes there just a thought
 
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buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
get a buddy to stay the night tell her he got car trouble he sleep on the couch then when you go to have sex if she talking about it she might go threw with it being hes there just a thought
Nice idea but it's too much for the first time. I'm sure she wouldn't go for that unless that buddy is a very close friend to both of us. We don't have that kind of bond with anyone at this time.
 
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buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
I am in a similar situation as well, only probably even less chance than you. This is a great thread with tons of good advice. Thanks to all that have contributed and good luck to the op! Im rooting for you.
Thanks for you support. What is your current situation? Your wife knows about your fantasy?
 

buzzuk58

Male
Sep 11, 2020
25
35
93
I think we might be…my wife is quite conservative and due to he upbringing sex wasn’t something she talked about…she is not into porn or the bar scene etc…

I agree with you about friends, I think it probably would be better not to get involved with friends, but rather someone you both will get to know well.

I think it wont work , if we the men looked for the right person for wives, but they will find the one they think they might like….
My wife isn't considered conservative but some of her thoughts may be bordered around conservatism. I'm trying to break that kind of thinking.
 
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dickhurtz

Male
Jan 1, 2022
1,758
1,363
203
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe I can get her to try a sensual massage whilst on holiday. We're going abroad next week and I'll see if I can organise something like that. I've also suggested to her that if she wants to flirt and feel she wants to move ahead with someone that she has my blessing. The only thing is if she would go for the massage thing. I will suggest and see what she says. Thanks.
any update after your trip?