Angst, shame, guilt

[cuckflex]

I have been living with my kink more than ten years. At the beginning I struggled with the fact that it gets me horny thinking about my wife having sex with someone else. I overcame that struggle after some time and accepted it for what it is.

We are still yet to find a guy for her, but as me and my wife evolved, I realized that it excites me heavily also to be submissive to her. What's driving me extremely though is humiliation. I love when she is comparing me to other men sexually, denying me and allowing other men do things I am not allowed, basically treating them as better men sexually. And this is what is causing me a major issues at times.

This will sound stereotypical, but my job, my looks etc always required me to be THE man and I honestly felt good about being confident, strong man. But this strong man within me is punishing and judging me very harshly for getting off on idea of being humiliated and treated as less of a man. Sometimes, especially when we have been playing our roles intensely - her being dominant, me denied etc - I am struggling with my self esteem and feel awkward and bit nervous even during social events for example.

This way I am looking for kind of support and advice. I know many of you are not psychologists, but I bet there is plenty of men who are confident, enjoy humiliation and are not pretending to be full time sissies. How did you find a peace between the two personalities, when and how you allow them to express and how are you navigating in the lifestyle? I learned long ago this kink is not on/off thing for us often and it's inevitably soaking outside bedroom too because of the whole nature of the fetish so how to cope? To put it in perspective, I also have a bit of boot fetish, I love women in boots, but it's more straightforward -fet horny, grt off, done, forget until next time. With cuckold lifestyle, at least the one I find the most fulfilling it's never ending practice of trying to understand each other and accomodating our roles.

 

[nicebiguy]

I have been living with my kink more than ten years. At the beginning I struggled with the fact that it gets me horny thinking about my wife having sex with someone else. I overcame that struggle after some time and accepted it for what it is.

We are still yet to find a guy for her, but as me and my wife evolved, I realized that it excites me heavily also to be submissive to her. What's driving me extremely though is humiliation. I love when she is comparing me to other men sexually, denying me and allowing other men do things I am not allowed, basically treating them as better men sexually. And this is what is causing me a major issues at times.

This will sound stereotypical, but my job, my looks etc always required me to be THE man and I honestly felt good about being confident, strong man. But this strong man within me is punishing and judging me very harshly for getting off on idea of being humiliated and treated as less of a man. Sometimes, especially when we have been playing our roles intensely - her being dominant, me denied etc - I am struggling with my self esteem and feel awkward and bit nervous even during social events for example.

This way I am looking for kind of support and advice. I know many of you are not psychologists, but I bet there is plenty of men who are confident, enjoy humiliation and are not pretending to be full time sissies. How did you find a peace between the two personalities, when and how you allow them to express and how are you navigating in the lifestyle? I learned long ago this kink is not on/off thing for us often and it's inevitably soaking outside bedroom too because of the whole nature of the fetish so how to cope? To put it in perspective, I also have a bit of boot fetish, I love women in boots, but it's more straightforward -fet horny, grt off, done, forget until next time. With cuckold lifestyle, at least the one I find the most fulfilling it's never ending practice of trying to understand each other and accomodating our roles.

What you're feeling is not uncommon IMO. Most people are bi to some extent and have a submissive side,especially guys like us that always have to be the man. Try to understand there are plenty of others in the same situation dealing with the angst and confusion. My suggestion is try to accept your thoughts and feelings because they're not that unusual and IMO accepting and owning them is healthy and very liberating Once I sucked my friends big cock All these feeling started coming to the surface, since I already accepted I was now a cock sucker I began surrendering to my submissive gurly feelings. There's nothing more liberating that being on my knees in panties,stockings n garter belt looking up into his eyes as I begin to service him as i begin by kissing and licking his wet cock head and shaved balls. If you'd like to chat feel free to contact me. If you'd like to get more insight go to literotica, read the gay stories and other mens comments, It's very enlightening. Joe

 

[Wannawatchher76]

I can’t tell you how to think about it or process, but I can explain what worked for me;

I am a confident alpha male. I work in a very alpha driven industry and excel. I’m not faking it. I just realized that I am more complex than just that. I struggled for years with the concepts that turn me on. I’m totally turned on by the humiliation and submissiveness that comes with being a cuckold.

Funny thing is that my wife is naturally pretty submissive. For years we had a pretty vanilla sex life. No complaining about it but I had deeper needs and we discussed it at length over several years. I’m not bi in the sense of just hookups or sex. I’m into submitting to and for my wife.

We started with toys. I’m by no means small, but seeing the larger toys enter her blew me away. As we progressed we dabbled into fisting. She realized she is a size queen. Or rather came to terms with discussing it. I love the feeling of her after being used and “opened up”.

After some time we progressed to mock Gang Bangs with toys and role play. Sometimes we would play in parking lots or nice hotel rooms.

We discussed actual cuckold stuff and I explained my bi submissive tendencies. This led to pegging and light domination. Progressing we got cum lube and enjoyed the “sloppy seconds” and forced cleanup. Eventually coming to me cleaning up my own cum or her spitting it on me or kissing it back in dominant ways.

We stalled a bit after she was on some dating apps and sexting/sending vids to guys. After discussing it the guys were a bit too aggressive or disrespectful which was the turn off.

Time, patience and discussion led us to the successes and helped through the failures. For both of us. I think eventually I will be on my hands and knees cleaning her pussy while I’m getting plowed. I’m ok with that AND my non sexual alpha self. One doesn’t change the other for me. It just wasn’t a rushed or forced process.

Hope that helps

 

[Sgt Ray]

Good luck to you...

 

[Catholic_Wife]

I am not a shrink or anything, but let me say what came to mind reading your vent:

You can't have a cake and eat it too.

If some roleplays impact and weight that much over your psyche, self and might alter your relationship in impredictable ways, maybe it would be wiser to slow down and only enjoy the things you both really feel confortable about.

Remember, you don't need to act exactly like a cuckold porn flick to enjoy the lifestyle.

 

[droopy1]

What you are describing is a conflict within yourself between your macho male ego and your submissive suppressed identity. Some of us (myself included) have a duel identity. We are confident strong aggressive and competitive on the outside. We strive to be the best we can be in our jobs, in sports and with women. This is our male ego. But deeper inside we have an identity that can be the complete opposite. It's like our wiring gets crossed. When we get sexually aroused these feelings are awakened. They may take the form of being submissive or feminine and strong sexual responses result from being humiliated by a woman. I have these feelings myself. I love being told by my wife that I'm inferior to her lovers and that I belong in panties. After I ejaculate and my orgasm is finished my mindset immediately flies back to my 'default' male ego. At that point the farthest thing in my thoughts is being the submissive weakling sissy that I was so turned by just a few minutes ago. I now experience shame and embarrassment but without the erotic kick it had before. A conflict arises between the man in me and the sissy in me. In time this eases and eventually I go about my routine as the competitive 'regular' guy once again. When the next time comes the whole thing repeats itself. All I can say is that feeling I have when I'm being humiliated by my wife is the best feeling ever.

 

[naturalcucky]

I have been living with my kink more than ten years. At the beginning I struggled with the fact that it gets me horny thinking about my wife having sex with someone else. I overcame that struggle after some time and accepted it for what it is.

We are still yet to find a guy for her, but as me and my wife evolved, I realized that it excites me heavily also to be submissive to her. What's driving me extremely though is humiliation. I love when she is comparing me to other men sexually, denying me and allowing other men do things I am not allowed, basically treating them as better men sexually. And this is what is causing me a major issues at times.

This will sound stereotypical, but my job, my looks etc always required me to be THE man and I honestly felt good about being confident, strong man. But this strong man within me is punishing and judging me very harshly for getting off on idea of being humiliated and treated as less of a man. Sometimes, especially when we have been playing our roles intensely - her being dominant, me denied etc - I am struggling with my self esteem and feel awkward and bit nervous even during social events for example.

This way I am looking for kind of support and advice. I know many of you are not psychologists, but I bet there is plenty of men who are confident, enjoy humiliation and are not pretending to be full time sissies. How did you find a peace between the two personalities, when and how you allow them to express and how are you navigating in the lifestyle? I learned long ago this kink is not on/off thing for us often and it's inevitably soaking outside bedroom too because of the whole nature of the fetish so how to cope? To put it in perspective, I also have a bit of boot fetish, I love women in boots, but it's more straightforward -fet horny, grt off, done, forget until next time. With cuckold lifestyle, at least the one I find the most fulfilling it's never ending practice of trying to understand each other and accomodating our roles.

Cleaning her pussy after her lover is so addictive that all your bad feelings go away. After that, you just constantly think about it, wish for it, and you will be able to do anything!

 

[nicebiguy]

What you are describing is a conflict within yourself between your macho male ego and your submissive suppressed identity. Some of us (myself included) have a duel identity. We are confident strong aggressive and competitive on the outside. We strive to be the best we can be in our jobs, in sports and with women. This is our male ego. But deeper inside we have an identity that can be the complete opposite. It's like our wiring gets crossed. When we get sexually aroused these feelings are awakened. They may take the form of being submissive or feminine and strong sexual responses result from being humiliated by a woman. I have these feelings myself. I love being told by my wife that I'm inferior to her lovers and that I belong in panties. After I ejaculate and my orgasm is finished my mindset immediately flies back to my 'default' male ego. At that point the farthest thing in my thoughts is being the submissive weakling sissy that I was so turned by just a few minutes ago. I now experience shame and embarrassment but without the erotic kick it had before. A conflict arises between the man in me and the sissy in me. In time this eases and eventually I go about my routine as the competitive 'regular' guy once again. When the next time comes the whole thing repeats itself. All I can say is that feeling I have when I'm being humiliated by my wife is the best feeling ever.

When I'm having sex with my side bf I make it a point to never cum. I love being his sissy faggot,panty wearing cock sucking submissive bitch and want the encounter to last as long as I can. Besides when I don't cum I stay very eager to submit and please him. When he finally gets tired of me and has cum a few times I'll go home and jerk off. It's a good way for me to deal with the after orgasm blues. I also think doing this occasionally with him is mentally healthy and very liberating.

 

[droopy1]

When I'm having sex with my side bf I make it a point to never cum. I love being his sissy faggot,panty wearing cock sucking submissive bitch and want the encounter to last as long as I can. Besides when I don't cum I stay very eager to submit and please him. When he finally gets tired of me and has cum a few times I'll go home and jerk off. It's a good way for me to deal with the after orgasm blues. I also think doing this occasionally with him is mentally healthy and very liberating.

My wife and I are in a dom/sub relationship and one of her big things is to humiliate me. She is an expert at that. She knows all about post orgasm blues and uses that to sometimes punish me. She has girlfriends to the house and humiliates me by making me dress like a maid or sometimes wear a diaper or other embarrassing things. I have to put on a show and serve them drinks in my humiliating outfits which as a submissive I love. But then I have to sit on the floor and jerk off for the ladies. My wife calls it :"Making my sissy cream" All the girls laugh at me and taunt me but I'm extremely turned on at this point but then I ejaculate and it's all over. Now my mood completly changes to one of true shame. I feel like crawling under a rock and hiding, totally mortified, but my wife demands that I sit there in front of these women. She knows I'm in complete shame as she makes me lick up my own cum and that my erotic feelings are gone. She says it's good training for me and keeps my submissive nature in check.

 

[Bull4Oldrwives]

I have been living with my kink more than ten years. At the beginning I struggled with the fact that it gets me horny thinking about my wife having sex with someone else. I overcame that struggle after some time and accepted it for what it is.

We are still yet to find a guy for her, but as me and my wife evolved, I realized that it excites me heavily also to be submissive to her. What's driving me extremely though is humiliation. I love when she is comparing me to other men sexually, denying me and allowing other men do things I am not allowed, basically treating them as better men sexually. And this is what is causing me a major issues at times.

This will sound stereotypical, but my job, my looks etc always required me to be THE man and I honestly felt good about being confident, strong man. But this strong man within me is punishing and judging me very harshly for getting off on idea of being humiliated and treated as less of a man. Sometimes, especially when we have been playing our roles intensely - her being dominant, me denied etc - I am struggling with my self esteem and feel awkward and bit nervous even during social events for example.

This way I am looking for kind of support and advice. I know many of you are not psychologists, but I bet there is plenty of men who are confident, enjoy humiliation and are not pretending to be full time sissies. How did you find a peace between the two personalities, when and how you allow them to express and how are you navigating in the lifestyle? I learned long ago this kink is not on/off thing fyor us often and it's inevitably soaking outside bedroom too because of the whole nature of the fetish so how to cope? To put it in perspective, I also have a bit of boot fetish, I love women in boots, but it's more straightforward -fet horny, grt off, done, forget until next time. With cuckold lifestyle, at least the one I find the most fulfilling it's never ending practice of trying to understand each other and accomodating our roles.

One of the most courageous things a man can do is encourage and acquiesce to his wife taking full control of her sexuality. The two acts that confirm that are his guiding a bulls cock into his wife and taking her lovers cum from her. One of the most loving things I have ever seen is a wife lovingly inviting her husband to come to her and consume the leavings of the man who has just given her so much pleasure. Then following it up by having he ability to nurture and support the passion between his wife and her lover is incredibly manly. Yes, there will conflicting emotions but allow yourself to surrender to the excitement and eroticism as that surge of heat fills your head and hardens your dick as you feel the the shame and excitement of your place in the triad create the explosion in your dick and head. There are many colors on the palette we are not meant to all be black and white.

 

[Johnson_Suen]

Sometimes I beg my wife to allow me to suck her feet and heels. But when I started working, I was energized and confident. All I do is always remember my responsibility to my family.