30M & 25F, UK - after bringing it up 6 months ago, the idea of sex with other people has finally settled in my GF's mind. She's happy now to try exploring this stuff but we're both total beginners and obviously have some natural anxieties around it. Is setting her up with guys online to chat with a good way to ease these anxieties for her and get her used to engaging sexually with other men? She's open to the idea and it's less daunting than meeting IRL straight away, but equally you have no idea who you'll end up chatting with online and I don't want her to be scared off
Is online chat with guys the best way to ease my GF into the lifestyle
- Thread starter nomadfantasy
- Start date
Hey congrats! I understand that it might be challanging in start. Im good in sex chat/chat and can guide you guys! Also respectful yet horny 😉 dm me please if interested
You can emphasize that part of the whole process is screening men for possible future contact. Any time you have contact with men online you run the risk of getting the "ick factor". Chances are that someone will go too far.
Use this to reinforce the fact that she is in charge and she can simply block fools who get out of line. Make it a positive thing that she's learning how to identify fakes and phonies and that it can carry over into when she decides to go forward with meeting IRL.
You just need the right guy. Online could work, but you BOTH need to be involved and agree. A good idea is to all meet in person.
It's how my then loyal wife of 19 years dipped her toes in.
I didn't know how it would play out,but I hoped her having so many men interested in her,whilst feeling safe knowing her identity was secure would give her the confidence to at least give it a go.
Needless to say,it went better than expected, and although it was a long nervous journey for her, she eventually took to her first guy, and in her own time eventually plucked up the courage to meet him in person.
My only advice would be to step back whilst still encouraging ,and let her take as long as she needs.
I didn't know how it would play out,but I hoped her having so many men interested in her,whilst feeling safe knowing her identity was secure would give her the confidence to at least give it a go.
Needless to say,it went better than expected, and although it was a long nervous journey for her, she eventually took to her first guy, and in her own time eventually plucked up the courage to meet him in person.
My only advice would be to step back whilst still encouraging ,and let her take as long as she needs.
While I"m still a wannabe, my wife has given me the green light in the past, and then pulled back. The majority of men that responded to my request for dudes were either over the top or just seemed like they never read my posting. It got very frustrating for me and would have been a big turn-off for her if she had seen some of them. In the short time that my request was up I would only approve maybe 1 out the 20 or so that responded.
Unfortunately, she backed off and I took down the posting.
Depends on where you find the guys for her to chat with and the vetting you do. Honestly a free lifestyle website is the worst choice. I will catch hell for this but you will find too many wannabe's , guys who will just push their own agenda not caring what you and your wife want.
But no matter where you meet the guys, vet them well and anyways be ready to just cut contact even mid call/chat. Control what info you give out. If you video chat , those can be recorded, screen captured, etc so be careful.
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I told mine that I wanted to see her fucked by a big dick. We would role play and watch porn for months. I always figured that's all it would ever be. One night we had a sitter and went out. We wound up getting a room, then there was a knock at the door. I looked at her,and she said it's what you've been wanting baby (she had msgd her ex fuck buddy to meet us there without telling me, so I couldn't back out, lol). I had always thought she was BSing about his size until he dropped his boxers and his HUGE cock flopped out. She told me afterwards that she would've made it happen sooner but she was worried about my male ego and how I would handle being naked next to him, due to our size difference.
But having someone she knew and was familiar with was huge for her. Letting her atlrrange it, and giving her the control. Maybe mention something like that even
Ben&cherry
Couple
Nah online is pointless. Guys are only after 1 thing. Sex chat and pictures to wank over. The way we done it after she finally agreed was join a swingers website. Your in the uk same as us. Join fabswingers. We chatted in the chat rooms, replied on forums, sent messages etc... We had hundreds of men messaging us. It was to much. In the end we blocked single men and only chatted to couples. One couple stood out for us and we agreed to meet them at a swingers club in kent. They showed us around and sat with us all night chatting which helped alot. Questions we had, any doubts we had. All answered. It wasn't until the 4th time out that we actually played. Even then it was girl on girl. Turns out the wife is Bi and she likes playing with women. She has not done anything with another guy yet apart from wank him off a bit.
My wife suffered with anxiety so a club was hard for her but it was alot easier doing that than meeting some random Off the net for a quick shag.
Clubs are relaxed and that way you get to know people better in person rather than by text online. Also you can always so no even if you arrange to meet a guy in the club and he turns out not the way he is online you can say no.