Need help with angst

[Dcucked]

Just dipping our toes into the lifestyle very slowing. My nd my wife have been together 17 years. We have discussed this lifestyle as a fantasy for the past 3-4 years. Recently we have discussed going to a LS club just to check it out. While I find the fantasy of my wife fucking other guys super hot Im not sure I really want that, at least as we begin. Im not sure how I would feel with an other guy fucking and cumming in my wifes pussy. Im not the Jealous type except for when my wife goes out for girls night with outer wives. Not sure why that is...

Anyway, has anyone experience less angst with their wives giving a handjob or blowjob? What about having another guy fingering or eating your wifes pussy before you fuck her? Do you experience any less angst with these activities or if someone else fucks your with but doesnt cum in her? Ive encouraged my wife to flirt with other guys and have no problems with that. I think if we take baby steps we will find out what we are ok with.

Hoping to learn from others experience here

 

[Shadowstalker]

Just dipping our toes into the lifestyle very slowing. My nd my wife have been together 17 years. We have discussed this lifestyle as a fantasy for the past 3-4 years. Recently we have discussed going to a LS club just to check it out. While I find the fantasy of my wife fucking other guys super hot Im not sure I really want that, at least as we begin. Im not sure how I would feel with an other guy fucking and cumming in my wifes pussy. Im not the Jealous type except for when my wife goes out for girls night with outer wives. Not sure why that is...

Anyway, has anyone experience less angst with their wives giving a handjob or blowjob? What about having another guy fingering or eating your wifes pussy before you fuck her? Do you experience any less angst with these activities or if someone else fucks your with but doesnt cum in her? Ive encouraged my wife to flirt with other guys and have no problems with that. I think if we take baby steps we will find out what we are ok with.

Hoping to learn from others experience here

I'm exactly the same ... When my wife goes out with her friends I often get picture messages of her kissing her girlfriends .. Pushing their tits together ect and I feel no jealousy at all .. I tell her to bring her home with you 😅 ... But I really don't know how I would feel if it was a guy 😵‍💫

 

[Discretefun66]

Just dipping our toes into the lifestyle very slowing. My nd my wife have been together 17 years. We have discussed this lifestyle as a fantasy for the past 3-4 years. Recently we have discussed going to a LS club just to check it out. While I find the fantasy of my wife fucking other guys super hot Im not sure I really want that, at least as we begin. Im not sure how I would feel with an other guy fucking and cumming in my wifes pussy. Im not the Jealous type except for when my wife goes out for girls night with outer wives. Not sure why that is...

Anyway, has anyone experience less angst with their wives giving a handjob or blowjob? What about having another guy fingering or eating your wifes pussy before you fuck her? Do you experience any less angst with these activities or if someone else fucks your with but doesnt cum in her? Ive encouraged my wife to flirt with other guys and have no problems with that. I think if we take baby steps we will find out what we are ok with.

Hoping to learn from others experience here

What you are describing "baby steps" is the approach we used. We started with her giving a HJ, then a BJ, and then the full deal. The number one thing is to move forward at a pace you BOTH are comfortable with. The first time I saw my wife holding another man's cock in her and I was feeling a lot of angst. It was both hard and exhilarating at same time. As was watching her give a HJ and then a BJ but none of that compared to the firs time she fucked another man. It has been over 25 years and I still remember it well. I stood and watched as she straddled another and, grabbed his cock, and then slowly guided it in to her pussy. It was what I call the point of no return. I either needed to stop it right there or let it go. I was jealous, a little shocked, excited, and memorized all at once. It was sort of surreal but at the end of the day it came down to checking my ego. I just watched and enjoyed the moment and have never regretted it. Over time my jealousy disappeared and I got control of my ego along with becoming more confident. Both in myself and in our relationship as a couple. For us, this lifestyle has been a huge bonus to our marriage and definitely made it much stronger. It isn't for everyone but if it works for both you it can be a wonderful experience and you two can have hot erotica adventures together. Like I said I think you got it right, baby steps.

 

[Dcucked]

What you are describing "baby steps" is the approach we used. We started with her giving a HJ, then a BJ, and then the full deal. The number one thing is to move forward at a pace you BOTH are comfortable with. The first time I saw my wife holding another man's cock in her and I was feeling a lot of angst. It was both hard and exhilarating at same time. As was watching her give a HJ and then a BJ but none of that compared to the firs time she fucked another man. It has been over 25 years and I still remember it well. I stood and watched as she straddled another and, grabbed his cock, and then slowly guided it in to her pussy. It was what I call the point of no return. I either needed to stop it right there or let it go. I was jealous, a little shocked, excited, and memorized all at once. It was sort of surreal but at the end of the day it came down to checking my ego. I just watched and enjoyed the moment and have never regretted it. Over time my jealousy disappeared and I got control of my ego along with becoming more confident. Both in myself and in our relationship as a couple. For us, this lifestyle has been a huge bonus to our marriage and definitely made it much stronger. It isn't for everyone but if it works for both you it can be a wonderful experience and you two can have hot erotica adventures together. Like I said I think you got it right, baby steps.

Wow! That sounds just like how I would like it to play out. Every now and then I have second thoughts. Then again I also had second thoughts before getting married and having kids. All of those have worked out great, so...

 

[jw_kk]

Fantasizing / imagining your wife having sex with another man is very, very different than actually seeing it happen.

Truthfully, at least for me, it was a totally surreal experience. The angst never truly goes away, it just changes, particularly in intensity.

There is also subtle difference when your wife is mostly passive in the experience (i.e. “being fucked”) vs. active (she is doing the fucking, the “aggressor”). My reaction to either scenario is different - seeing your wife in control, doing the fucking, is incredibly intense.

The first time I was actually present, up close, watching, I had a blend of reactions; physiological (chills/fevered feeling, shortness of breath, nausea, sweating) blended with intense emotions; jealousy, self-loathing, disgust, lust, and desire.

I think the experience, positive, or negative produces permanent changes in one’s psyche. The angst is perpetual, just taking on a different form.

 

[Dcucked]

Fantasizing / imagining your wife having sex with another man is very, very different than actually seeing it happen.

Truthfully, at least for me, it was a totally surreal experience. The angst never truly goes away, it just changes, particularly in intensity.

There is also subtle difference when your wife is mostly passive in the experience (i.e. “being fucked”) vs. active (she is doing the fucking, the “aggressor”). My reaction to either scenario is different - seeing your wife in control, doing the fucking, is incredibly intense.

The first time I was actually present, up close, watching, I had a blend of reactions; physiological (chills/fevered feeling, shortness of breath, nausea, sweating) blended with intense emotions; jealousy, self-loathing, disgust, lust, and desire.

I think the experience, positive, or negative produces permanent changes in one’s psyche. The angst is perpetual, just taking on a different form.

Thanks for your insight.

How long did it take for your wife to go from passive fucking to active fucking? I suppose its different for everyone. Once she was the aggressor did your relationship or sex together change in any way?

 

[Discretefun66]

Fantasizing / imagining your wife having sex with another man is very, very different than actually seeing it happen.

Truthfully, at least for me, it was a totally surreal experience. The angst never truly goes away, it just changes, particularly in intensity.

There is also subtle difference when your wife is mostly passive in the experience (i.e. “being fucked”) vs. active (she is doing the fucking, the “aggressor”). My reaction to either scenario is different - seeing your wife in control, doing the fucking, is incredibly intense.

The first time I was actually present, up close, watching, I had a blend of reactions; physiological (chills/fevered feeling, shortness of breath, nausea, sweating) blended with intense emotions; jealousy, self-loathing, disgust, lust, and desire.

I think the experience, positive, or negative produces permanent changes in one’s psyche. The angst is perpetual, just taking on a different form.

Well put.

 

[GoodTimes40]

Fantasizing / imagining your wife having sex with another man is very, very different than actually seeing it happen.

Truthfully, at least for me, it was a totally surreal experience. The angst never truly goes away, it just changes, particularly in intensity.

There is also subtle difference when your wife is mostly passive in the experience (i.e. “being fucked”) vs. active (she is doing the fucking, the “aggressor”). My reaction to either scenario is different - seeing your wife in control, doing the fucking, is incredibly intense.

The first time I was actually present, up close, watching, I had a blend of reactions; physiological (chills/fevered feeling, shortness of breath, nausea, sweating) blended with intense emotions; jealousy, self-loathing, disgust, lust, and desire.

I think the experience, positive, or negative produces permanent changes in one’s psyche. The angst is perpetual, just taking on a different form.

What was the difference between seeing someone having sex with her (was it a guy bigger/stronger than you) vs seeing her ride that guy?

 

[nicebiguy]

Just dipping our toes into the lifestyle very slowing. My nd my wife have been together 17 years. We have discussed this lifestyle as a fantasy for the past 3-4 years. Recently we have discussed going to a LS club just to check it out. While I find the fantasy of my wife fucking other guys super hot Im not sure I really want that, at least as we begin. Im not sure how I would feel with an other guy fucking and cumming in my wifes pussy. Im not the Jealous type except for when my wife goes out for girls night with outer wives. Not sure why that is...

Anyway, has anyone experience less angst with their wives giving a handjob or blowjob? What about having another guy fingering or eating your wifes pussy before you fuck her? Do you experience any less angst with these activities or if someone else fucks your with but doesnt cum in her? Ive encouraged my wife to flirt with other guys and have no problems with that. I think if we take baby steps we will find out what we are ok with.

Hoping to learn from others experience here

I think a lot of guys must have angst, I'm just surprised nobody ever talks about it.

 

[jw_kk]

What was the difference between seeing someone having sex with her (was it a guy bigger/stronger than you) vs seeing her ride that guy?

Physically, the guy was not much different than me; no more, or less attractive, similar cock size... it was something on a more fundamental level. KK riding him, in control, acting as the dominant, the aggressor, her "wanting it," craving it, and her unbridled lust.

 

[GoodTimes40]

Physically, the guy was not much different than me; no more, or less attractive, similar cock size... it was something on a more fundamental level. KK riding him, in control, acting as the dominant, the aggressor, her "wanting it," craving it, and her unbridled lust.

My fantasy is seeing my wife dominated by a bigger, stronger guy with a bigger dick. What really gets the angst going and my balls tingling is when I picture her seeing that guy again. I picture her not telling me she has seen him a few times bc she can’t resist his cock and the “second meeting” is her aggressively riding him and then letting him cum inside her.

 

[2wheel]

Sometimes the sizzle is better than the steak. Remember she can't be un-fucked.

Make sure your relationship is on solid ground and set some rules and expect some rule to be broken. EXCEPT rule 1 "protect the primary relationship".

Beyond that, when it happens make sure NOT to cum until they're done.