Things you have learned since being in the lifestyle.

Things I've learned:

1. (specifically about being with men) A lot of men get really weird after they cum, I get that the sexual desires run out (which is why I prefer being caged and not cumming often), but with many guys it's beyond that, it's like a paranoia strikes them and they just need to FLY AWAY. I'm sure it's shame and guilt and a whole bunch of other stuff, but I sure wish they would hang around - at least for some aftercare. I see this most prominently in one-night stands and gloryhole clubs fwiw.

2. Many women aren't exactly forthcoming or explicit in what they are looking to get from cuck/poly/hotwife experiences. The cat-and-mouse way they approach dating seems to still apply in our relationships with them. My advice is that if you want something specific or to explore a specific kink, then just say it, and be honest about what kink gets your motor running and why it turns you on - be able to communicate that with your partner. When things are vague, so is the sex.

3. Jealousy is a natural aphrodisiac, but like fire it needs to be handled responsibly and respectfully by all sides.

4. Race play is natural and obvious in hotwifing and cuckoldry, but there's a fine line between the race play and actual racism.

5. Cum tastes wonderful, especially when it's licked out of a used pussy or when it's straight from the source.
 
What surprising things have you learned since being in this lifestyle?
1) guys who call themselves bulls, usually don’t have a clue about a couple’s dynamic, they just want to get laid.
2) finding actual quality guys who will do what they say, understand the couple dynamic, and actually stick around for long term play, is harder to do then actually taking the step to get into this lifestyle.

What things have surprised you the most?
A Bull is the giver in the Cuckold dynamic, a bull is typically someone who enjoys being the person fucking someone else’s wife, but It can also be used generally to identify someone who’s kink primarily surrounds a large cock
“god I so loved when that bull rearranged my guts in front of my husband last Tuesday night

you are confused and misleading the cuckolds
 
A Bull is the giver in the Cuckold dynamic, a bull is typically someone who enjoys being the person fucking someone else’s wife, but It can also be used generally to identify someone who’s kink primarily surrounds a large cock
“god I so loved when that bull rearranged my guts in front of my husband last Tuesday night

you are confused and misleading the cuckolds
I think the OP is pointing out the fakes in the crowd, there are quite a few single males who pretend to be bulls when they are just regular horny guys who are trying to get laid and don't understand the power dynamics or roleplay involved. It's the same in the bdsm communities where regular guys pretend to be dominants who just hope some submissive will let the fake dom fuck them.

A lot of these fakes just flake out when it comes time to meet, having wasted everyones' time, or worse yet, they actually show up and have no clue how to be dominant or the bull, wasting even more of that time and additionally the money it takes to go out to meet someone.
 
It’s a lot of fun when it all comes together, but finding the right guy is exhausting! So many fakes and flakes and guys who have watched to much porn and forget they are talking to a real actual woman who doesn’t need bigger and better, just be decent, fun, respectful, and actually carry on a good conversation that gets me excited:
Amen!
 
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I learned that if you are small and inferior to other men you can feel miserable and sorry for yourself or you can find the wonderful world of sub space. With the right training by the right woman you can experience humiliation in a totally new and exciting way. When you accept who you are, submission to a superior male in front of your wife can be extremely erotic and her rejection of you can be a strong sexual experience. It's OK to be weak, effeminate, inferior, submissive and humiliated. Not every guy can be an Alpha Male, some of us have to be Beta's.
 
There are several things that come to mind with this question. Not sure I would try to rank them but at the top is the way in which living the lifestyle has effected us individually and as a couple. We see having sex with another person as just another aspect of our overall sex life. However, we do not put any value on it beyond that. We have always said that sex with other people should be to add or enhance our sex life and it has.

When we have sex with other people, it is just us having fun. We feel the “adventures” we have had we others has been all about having “sexual fun”. We want to both please each other and see each other being pleased by others. If we have a whim involving sex with someone else, then we are all for it. We know what our love is, how strong it is, and how solid our marriage is, and this gives us the freedom we need to do this. We have complete faith and in trust in each other and never feel threatened by others. When we are with other people it is a “sport fuck”, the sex satisfies desires, fulfill a fantasy’s, and used to explore erotic ideas.

Aside from what it has done for our marriage, for the wife it has given her an extra level of sexual empowerment. The freedom boost her confidence knowing that other men desire her and, confirms her sexual attractiveness to them. I learned about myself that when I became confident in our marriage, trusting in my wife, and controlled my ego and jealousy it open up doors to my sexuality that I otherwise would have stayed closed minded to.
What you have said is very true and resonates totally with us as well...Our experience has been
Sex with other people is fun, an extra dimension of fun that adds spice to life, like going to an expensive resaurant to try a differnt cuisine.
Sex on holidays adds to the thrill of travel, in addition to new places, shopping, landscapes, we sometimes just people watch and tease each other on who is sexy.
Wife dresses a lot more sexy day to day and on holidays than before
We are both much more figure and weight concious to be attractive to other people
I love to see how my wife is developing from a shy self contained person to an extrovert who is assertive and also playful/flirty
I sometimes do feel Jealous and she does too, but it is a contained emotion.
It has not affected our marriage.
 
I learned that if you are small and inferior to other men you can feel miserable and sorry for yourself or you can find the wonderful world of sub space. With the right training by the right woman you can experience humiliation in a totally new and exciting way. When you accept who you are, submission to a superior male in front of your wife can be extremely erotic and her rejection of you can be a strong sexual experience. It's OK to be weak, effeminate, inferior, submissive and humiliated. Not every guy can be an Alpha Male, some of us have to be Beta's.
Very well said. Plus it's much easier being a wimp than trying to be a man all the time.
 
What surprising things have you learned since being in this lifestyle?
1) guys who call themselves bulls, usually don’t have a clue about a couple’s dynamic, they just want to get laid.
2) finding actual quality guys who will do what they say, understand the couple dynamic, and actually stick around for long term play, is harder to do then actually taking the step to get into this lifestyle.

What things have surprised you the most?
Hey Sean here. Wholeheartedly agree with # 1 & 2. Because if this, our vetting process has become much longer. For me, the biggest thing I've learned is:

How much I love seeing Jennifer spread her legs, rotate her hips and watching another mans cock penetrate her pussy. Even to this day, I am on the verge of cumming when I see it.

Second, is "reclaiming" of her after the other man is finished is phenomenal! The passion and love that we feel between us when I slide fully into her (especially if our date was allowed to cum inside here) is indescribable.
 
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Hey Sean here. Wholeheartedly agree with # 1 & 2. Because if this, our vetting process has become much longer. For me, the biggest thing I've learned is:

How much I love seeing Jennifer spread her legs, rotate her hips and watching another mans cock penetrate her pussy. Even to this day, I am on the verge of cumming when I see it.

Second, is "reclaiming" of her after the other man is finished is phenomenal! The passion and love that we feel between us when I slide fully into here (especially if our date was allowed to cum inside here) is indescribable.
The absolutely incredible feeling of my little man penetrating her well-fucked pussy filled to overflowing with the thick, creamy slippery sperm of a real man who watches and laughs and belittles me especially when she says “Is it in yet?”
 
Very well said. Plus it's much easier being a wimp than trying to be a man all the time.
Yes I feel very relaxed when my decisions are made for me and I simply follow and obey the strong people. I prefer to focus on the menial tasks that are assigned to me and I take pleasure in pleasing my superiors.
 
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After years of enjoying this lifestyle, still one of the top amazing things is the number of men who can't get hard, and/or stay hard, in the presence of another male - even when they are exposed to a sexy, hot, depraved wife, with no limits, begging for hard cock...
Sean here. I am truly mystified by that. It has happened a number of times over the years I have been sharing Jennifer. A married woman is before you spreading her legs and asking you to fuck her... The opposite end of that is the guy who can't control himself and cums after a minute or two.
 
Sean here. I am truly mystified by that. It has happened a number of times over the years I have been sharing Jennifer. A married woman is before you spreading her legs and asking you to fuck her... The opposite end of that is the guy who can't control himself and cums after a minute or two.
Yep - I can empathize (some) with a guy that blows prematurely - the limp-dicks are just a mystery.
 
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One other big thing I learned is how so many women not in a cuckold relationship just don't know what they are missing. We are a minority in a large vanilla world and a lot of women are like-- eewww that's weird. But some girls know the advantages of a FLR where they have complete sexual freedom while maintaining full control over their husband or boyfriend. They know the power of the chastity cage. I find it hard to believe that in a world of high divorce rates and bitter separations that cuckolding and obedience of a man to his wife isn't more popular. My personal belief is that there would be less crime and violence if more women were in charge. I vowed unconditional obedience and submissiveness to my wife when we got married and in our 15 years we have never fought once while at least seven couples we know have divorced and some of them now hate each other. Some people marvel at how well we get along and many of my wife's girlfriends are amazed and jealous at how I serve my wife and give her total respect. I hope that this lifestyle becomes more popular in the future. Ladies, you could live like a queen and have the best of both worlds if only you knew. My wife does.
 
Sean here. I am truly mystified by that. It has happened a number of times over the years I have been sharing Jennifer. A married woman is before you spreading her legs and asking you to fuck her... The opposite end of that is the guy who can't control himself and cums after a minute or two.
I think a true alpha should have no problem getting and staying hard even in the presents of the husband. Maybe he just needs a little ego boost which my wife is good at. She makes me show him how small and inferior I am and complements him on his manhood and reminds him that he is there because she can't be satisfied by me and needs a real man. She is good at building confidence and I feel it's my job to help her. I do that by being a good host from the start and offering hospitality. I assure him that it's OK and that he is doing a service for both my wife and me. And to help him feel superior I often kneel before him and offer to help him get hard by fluffing him. Not all guys go for this but a lot of them do. They enjoy showing my wife how superior they are by putting their cock in my mouth. This usually works, especially when my wife eggs him on telling him to humiliate that useless bitch. It makes him feel in charge of the situation and the confidence helps him keep his erection and effectively fuck my wife. Some guys don't work this way however and the simple solution is to send me away. Some men just want privacy with my wife and so be it. I obediently leave to another part of the house till I'm called back in to cleanup.
 
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hello from long island new york i am married and bi my husband is not i have learned a lot over the ten years we have been married i have a few female friends i see in a sexual way some will let my husband join in some he can only watch with a few i see a lot they are on the kinky side and part of it is golden showers which i find exciting i like to have sex with my husband after i am wet from them like him tasting me wet. he will let another man use toys on me or eat me with him watching a few times with so i can give oral if there safe i like tasting cum from other men if there safe and with resent blood tests to show
 

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One other big thing I learned is how so many women not in a cuckold relationship just don't know what they are missing. We are a minority in a large vanilla world and a lot of women are like-- eewww that's weird. But some girls know the advantages of a FLR where they have complete sexual freedom while maintaining full control over their husband or boyfriend. They know the power of the chastity cage. I find it hard to believe that in a world of high divorce rates and bitter separations that cuckolding and obedience of a man to his wife isn't more popular. My personal belief is that there would be less crime and violence if more women were in charge. I vowed unconditional obedience and submissiveness to my wife when we got married and in our 15 years we have never fought once while at least seven couples we know have divorced and some of them now hate each other. Some people marvel at how well we get along and many of my wife's girlfriends are amazed and jealous at how I serve my wife and give her total respect. I hope that this lifestyle becomes more popular in the future. Ladies, you could live like a queen and have the best of both worlds if only you knew. My wife does.
I like what you said. It seems a lot of males are forced into being "strong" men by society and religion but really don't fit.After sucking my 1st cock I was really surprised how my bi,sub,fem side came to the surface. Now I just accept that at times I'm just a wimpy pussy and need to submit to and suck a real mans cock occasionally.It's very liberating.