Trying Again, Any Tips?

[blackmann33]

The wife and I have flirted with the idea of being fucked by another man, but she is the typical shy asian and I am trying to make her more comfortable so we can see it through. As a way to ease into it, we recently bought her a new dildo. She has played with them before, but she has never been able to cum using one. I was hoping she would cum with the new one (that she picked out) since it had a clit stimulator, but no luck. She starts out liking it but can't climax.

She said she likes to drive and she always cums when riding me because she can control the pace. Could it be a comfort thing, like she is not comfortable with me seeing her using a dildo? I asked, and she said no, but not sure if that's true. My hope is that the dildo will feel like another cock so she can get used to someone else fucking her with me watching or playing on the side. Any tips?

 

[Mustang5030]

my wifes complaint was that the dildo is not warm like a dick .. it is cold so kind of painfull bla bla which can be true because a it is just a rubber looks like a dick .

also i have noticed that my wife did enjoyed the dildo at first she did not know what was it .. after seeing the dildo she started saying painfull not a good feeling but she is dripping wet dow there ..

it is hard to tell what goes in their head .. i think you should keep using the dildo till she cum

 

[Johnfunone]

my wifes complaint was that the dildo is not warm like a dick .. it is cold so kind of painfull bla bla which can be true because a it is just a rubber looks like a dick .

also i have noticed that my wife did enjoyed the dildo at first she did not know what was it .. after seeing the dildo she started saying painfull not a good feeling but she is dripping wet dow there ..

it is hard to tell what goes in their head .. i think you should keep using the dildo till she cum

I have the exact same thing going on.
She says she doesnt like the dildo but says if it was real she could probably do it.
She says this one just hurts.
But i remember the first time she used it when we first got it. She came so fast from it amd hard from it.
Now whwn i say im going to throw it away she always says we dont need to..
Who knows. They probably love it when we're not around... lol

 

[bunnyandtim]

my wifes complaint was that the dildo is not warm like a dick .. it is cold so kind of painfull bla bla which can be true because a it is just a rubber looks like a dick .

also i have noticed that my wife did enjoyed the dildo at first she did not know what was it .. after seeing the dildo she started saying painfull not a good feeling but she is dripping wet dow there ..

it is hard to tell what goes in their head .. i think you should keep using the dildo till she cum

My wife has said the same thing about pain/discomfort. You can try a few things to help her take it:
-Get a smaller dildo.
-Get a 'jelly' type dildo.
-Try warming it up with warm water beforehand
-Get a vibrator (use it for clit stimulation initially, then on insertion the vibration can be used increase bloodflow/create a distraction from mild pain.
-use lube.
-use drugs (alcohol is an obvious choice, but I've found poppers work wonders as well. MDMA also is VERY useful if you're up for it).
After a few attempts on the same toy, it will get easier and more enjoyable for her to use. But the attempts need to be wholehearted and fairly close together to achieve any significant result, so she may need a fair amount of encouragement/prompting/reassurance from you along the way.
The rewards for both of you will be worth it. Personally, I love the way I can feel through my hand on the toy how the vagina walls resist early on. I can only imagine how amazing it must feel for a guy with a big cock to stretch out a tight fresh pussy like that.🤤

 

[blackmann33]

my wifes complaint was that the dildo is not warm like a dick .. it is cold so kind of painfull bla bla which can be true because a it is just a rubber looks like a dick .

also i have noticed that my wife did enjoyed the dildo at first she did not know what was it .. after seeing the dildo she started saying painfull not a good feeling but she is dripping wet dow there ..

it is hard to tell what goes in their head .. i think you should keep using the dildo till she cum

She hasn't told me that but I will mention it to see if that is how she feels. I told her I want to try again tonight and she said OK, so we'll see how it goes. I told her I want her to take control and use it on herself, and she said "babe" you know I can only cum when my g-spot is grinding on yours while riding you. Then I reminded her of how her friends cum using dildos all the time based on what she has told me about their talks.

After no luck last night, she said in passing she would try to use it again when I am "unavailable." I said I hope so.

 

[Mustang5030]

I have the exact same thing going on.
She says she doesnt like the dildo but says if it was real she could probably do it.
She says this one just hurts.
But i remember the first time she used it when we first got it. She came so fast from it amd hard from it.
Now whwn i say im going to throw it away she always says we dont need to..
Who knows. They probably love it when we're not around... lol

ya it can be the case .. when we are handling it they feel shy .. or feel wired. but they do enjoy by them selves

 

[btweets]

I can’t help but think that it’s possible their saying those things because deep down, they are trying to tell you guys that in fact, she really wants the real thing, that she wants another mans cock but doesn’t necessarily want to straight out and admit it. They want you to guys to bring up the subject about adding another guy, and even if they put up resistance, they want you to push harder to make it happen.

 

[Johnfunone]

I can’t help but think that it’s possible their saying those things because deep down, they are trying to tell you guys that in fact, she really wants the real thing, that she wants another mans cock but doesn’t necessarily want to straight out and admit it. They want you to guys to bring up the subject about adding another guy, and even if they put up resistance, they want you to push harder to make it happen.

I wish that was the case.

 

[blackmann33]

I can’t help but think that it’s possible their saying those things because deep down, they are trying to tell you guys that in fact, she really wants the real thing, that she wants another mans cock but doesn’t necessarily want to straight out and admit it. They want you to guys to bring up the subject about adding another guy, and even if they put up resistance, they want you to push harder to make it happen.

Makes me wonder. For now... Plan B is to have her suck me while playing with her dildo. That way I am being pleased too and might help her relax.

 

[blackmann33]

Some progress is better than none.

So after several days on vacation, her time of the month, and life in general, any kind of serious talk about sharing her has been put aside. Other than our normal flirty, playful way of teasing each other (which I love) there has been little movement. But I did plant the idea again a few days ago when we were talking about a couples app that we installed and I am excited to see how it will help us live out our fantasies. And then last night, after chatting with a female friend and on the brink of sleep, she mumbled something about wanting a young dick. We are both in our 40's, very sexually active, and young would be anything south of that in my book.

The few times we have picked out a dildo for her, she always said she doesn't want one bigger than me. I'm about 9 inches fully erect. It's hard to believe her being satisfied with anything less than that, but I think the thrill of a new dick matters as much as the size. She always says she wants a hard dick, meaning that she wants to be fucked hard. After picking up her hints, I think the idea of a younger guy pounding her good is something that turns her on.

Today I brought up what she said last night and she laughed it off, even playfully denied that she said it. Maybe she was feeling a bit embarrassed and ashamed. She is fiercely loyal and the idea of her being with another guy is counter to her sense of being a wife. I once played the "it's just sex" card and she kind of shook it off in reservation. I also had newb feelings of excitement + insecurity but I am determined to keep progressing at her pace.

Barring a tornado, we are going to screw like rabbits tonight because we are both super-horny. Her being shared may never get beyond just fantasy-talk, but it's still fun to keep trying!

 

[btweets]

Some progress is better than none.

So after several days on vacation, her time of the month, and life in general, any kind of serious talk about sharing her has been put aside. Other than our normal flirty, playful way of teasing each other (which I love) there has been little movement. But I did plant the idea again a few days ago when we were talking about a couples app that we installed and I am excited to see how it will help us live out our fantasies. And then last night, after chatting with a female friend and on the brink of sleep, she mumbled something about wanting a young dick. We are both in our 40's, very sexually active, and young would be anything south of that in my book.

The few times we have picked out a dildo for her, she always said she doesn't want one bigger than me. I'm about 9 inches fully erect. It's hard to believe her being satisfied with anything less than that, but I think the thrill of a new dick matters as much as the size. She always says she wants a hard dick, meaning that she wants to be fucked hard. After picking up her hints, I think the idea of a younger guy pounding her good is something that turns her on.

Today I brought up what she said last night and she laughed it off, even playfully denied that she said it. Maybe she was feeling a bit embarrassed and ashamed. She is fiercely loyal and the idea of her being with another guy is counter to her sense of being a wife. I once played the "it's just sex" card and she kind of shook it off in reservation. I also had newb feelings of excitement + insecurity but I am determined to keep progressing at her pace.

Barring a tornado, we are going to screw like rabbits tonight because we are both super-horny. Her being shared may never get beyond just fantasy-talk, but it's still fun to keep trying!

With both of you being super horny, especially her, tonight is the perfect opportunity to open up the dialogue with her. Start out slowly during fore play, and increase it to the same level as your sexual progression continues to rise. Pay close attention to her, and be sure to read her reactions to the different subjects being brought up as you move along. Pay extra close attention to anything she brings up herself, and then focus on building and diving deeper on that. If she doesn’t bring anything up, but you can sense, see, hear or feel her excitement become heightened from anything, then focus on that, and most importantly, get her involved with it, whether it’s by talking, or instructing her to simulate it with the movement of her body. Get her to play along, even if you have to tease her to get it. For example.. Start to go down on her, but then move away and tell her she has to play along with the fantasy or you won’t do it, then immediately give her just a quick lick before moving away again, or however you want to do it. Tease her till she’s begging for it, and then tell her she’ll be rewarded more and more, every time she keeps telling you more. Good luck!

 

[blackmann33]

With both of you being super horny, especially her, tonight is the perfect opportunity to open up the dialogue with her. Start out slowly during fore play, and increase it to the same level as your sexual progression continues to rise. Pay close attention to her, and be sure to read her reactions to the different subjects being brought up as you move along. Pay extra close attention to anything she brings up herself, and then focus on building and diving deeper on that. If she doesn’t bring anything up, but you can sense, see, hear or feel her excitement become heightened from anything, then focus on that, and most importantly, get her involved with it, whether it’s by talking, or instructing her to simulate it with the movement of her body. Get her to play along, even if you have to tease her to get it. For example.. Start to go down on her, but then move away and tell her she has to play along with the fantasy or you won’t do it, then immediately give her just a quick lick before moving away again, or however you want to do it. Tease her till she’s begging for it, and then tell her she’ll be rewarded more and more, every time she keeps telling you more. Good luck!

That's great advice, I think I'll try it.

I've never been good with dirty-talk during foreplay. Before and definitely after having sex all bets are off. But during foreplay I always come off like a C class porn star trying too hard, so except for saying "yea," "get it," or "I like that" we keep talking during foreplay at a minimum. I know I would benefit by changing that though. The last few times we had sex she didn't want the dildo. I am going to push a little more and following your tips, tease her a bit, get her buy in, and at the right moment ask her to pretend it's another guy. That's the plan!

 

[btweets]

Maybe see if you can find a video or an article on how to talk about fantasies with your wife, or something. Seems like I remember seeing info on that somewhere, sorry I can’t remember. Good luck and keep us posted please!

 

[blackmann33]

So the dildo play is definitely a no-go. She doesn't get off on it. After trying again I asked if it was a comfort thing, like would she be more comfortable playing with it without me looking and she reassured me that was not the case. I know she has friends who play with dildo's, hell she even bought some for friends before and in both cases her friend's are in otherwise sexless relationships. They LOVE playing with their dildos but not my wife. So much for pretending it's a third.

With that said, we have made progress in another way. Our typical flirty talking about adding a third continues and she asked if I could watch her have sex with another guy. After playing with the fantasy she said she could only do it if I were in the room, my preference as well in our stag/vixen relationship. We have been back and forth about adding a guy or a girl too. And just as meaningful, she has let me take some sexy pics of her, even a few nudes. We have taken pictures and videos before but she has NEVER let me keep them. She always watches to make sure I delete them. But now she is into it and love the compliments I give her, all the while boosting her confidence. Like many asian girls, she has led a conservative sheltered life but not she is opening up.

 

[btweets]

So the dildo play is definitely a no-go. She doesn't get off on it. After trying again I asked if it was a comfort thing, like would she be more comfortable playing with it without me looking and she reassured me that was not the case. I know she has friends who play with dildo's, hell she even bought some for friends before and in both cases her friend's are in otherwise sexless relationships. They LOVE playing with their dildos but not my wife. So much for pretending it's a third.

With that said, we have made progress in another way. Our typical flirty talking about adding a third continues and she asked if I could watch her have sex with another guy. After playing with the fantasy she said she could only do it if I were in the room, my preference as well in our stag/vixen relationship. We have been back and forth about adding a guy or a girl too. And just as meaningful, she has let me take some sexy pics of her, even a few nudes. We have taken pictures and videos before but she has NEVER let me keep them. She always watches to make sure I delete them. But now she is into it and love the compliments I give her, all the while boosting her confidence. Like many asian girls, she has led a conservative sheltered life but not she is opening up.

Great to hear about your success so far! Just for her to be openly talking with you about it is a huge progression!