Long-time marriage (25+ years), one ...... (12).
Wife is highly educated, successful, high-earning, runs her own business, very organised and dominant in daily life (pays for almost everything, decides most things, openly jokes about it in front of friends/family, I defer to her as “the boss”). I’m early 50s, retire in ~2 years, happy to take on more at home.
We had a very kinky phase early on (she was strongly dominant, me submissive/sissy, pegging, chastity, etc.). After kids it completely stopped — she banned all kink, threw stuff away, said she hates it now and doesn’t see me that way anymore. Sex dwindled to almost nothing for years (sexless for long stretches).
Last year or so her libido has come back strong (HRT-related), she’s more playful/teasing at home (grabs, occasional handjobs as “rewards” for chores, insists I keep massaging her, etc.), but she still leads 100%, no PIV yet, and avoids direct sex talks.
She’s always been image-conscious (“good wife/mom” persona), downplays any external attention, but I’ve seen subtle signs she enjoys it (sneaky glances at men with her sister, excited by cheating stories from family/friends, fascination with her mom’s affairs).
No hard proof, but I’ve long suspected a brief affair ~3 years ago (cluster of changes: haircut, new sexy underwear, phone secrecy, etc.).
Question for guys who’ve been here:
Did your wife eventually open up about wanting more?
How long did the “warming/teasing but no full sex” phase last?
Did she ever suggest opening things up herself, or did you have to float it?
What worked (or didn’t) to make her feel safe enough to explore the idea?
Thanks for any real experiences — not looking for “just tell her” advice, just curious what actually happened in similar situations.
Wife is highly educated, successful, high-earning, runs her own business, very organised and dominant in daily life (pays for almost everything, decides most things, openly jokes about it in front of friends/family, I defer to her as “the boss”). I’m early 50s, retire in ~2 years, happy to take on more at home.
We had a very kinky phase early on (she was strongly dominant, me submissive/sissy, pegging, chastity, etc.). After kids it completely stopped — she banned all kink, threw stuff away, said she hates it now and doesn’t see me that way anymore. Sex dwindled to almost nothing for years (sexless for long stretches).
Last year or so her libido has come back strong (HRT-related), she’s more playful/teasing at home (grabs, occasional handjobs as “rewards” for chores, insists I keep massaging her, etc.), but she still leads 100%, no PIV yet, and avoids direct sex talks.
She’s always been image-conscious (“good wife/mom” persona), downplays any external attention, but I’ve seen subtle signs she enjoys it (sneaky glances at men with her sister, excited by cheating stories from family/friends, fascination with her mom’s affairs).
No hard proof, but I’ve long suspected a brief affair ~3 years ago (cluster of changes: haircut, new sexy underwear, phone secrecy, etc.).
Question for guys who’ve been here:
Did your wife eventually open up about wanting more?
How long did the “warming/teasing but no full sex” phase last?
Did she ever suggest opening things up herself, or did you have to float it?
What worked (or didn’t) to make her feel safe enough to explore the idea?
Thanks for any real experiences — not looking for “just tell her” advice, just curious what actually happened in similar situations.
