I'm new to to this lifestyle and my wife and I haven't taken the plunge as of yet. My wife has been gradually warming up to the idea and we are taking it slowly with lots of communication. We are both in our 40s and she has mentioned from time to time how she only had one lover before me and wished she had more experiences before we were married. Right now this has been pretty much fantasy talk with me allowing her to bring up the topic. It's taken a while but she is slowly starting to bring up the topic more often. My question is this, when we discuss the topic I mention how I want to be there to watch. She says this would be awkward and doesn't think she could do anything with me in the room. I want to be there to see her enjoy the experience and to insure her safety since I would not want to include friends. We don't usually expand on the topic and usually move on to enjoying the fantasy. Am I being unreasonable to want to be there during her first experience?
First time question
- Thread starter Redman69
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CleanupMan
Male
You could suggest your 1st being a three some with you involved. Or maybe using a baby monitor with camera and you being in a different room. My wife and I have done both. I know with me watching she is more concerned about putting on a show for me and is less concerned about her own pleasure. You could also get adjoining hotel rooms and you will be able to hear all the action.
Our first experience was her and the other guy by themselves. It was so HOT knowing was was happening at that exact moment and even Hotter hearing her tell me about it afterwards......the key is trust and communication. Try having her FaceTime you while it’s happening....just a thought
I was there the first few times. It took my wife a while to get comfy alone with her first bull. But now she’s been on vacation alone with some of her bulls.
Pistil
Well-Known Member
We started with one on one dates with my husband near. Not present but near
The adjoining room arrangement worked for us. we checked out the acoustics of the door and found that with his door open and mine locked he could hear most everything and be safe from being caught
Once we determined that my playing was a turn on for both we concentrated in finding guys comfortable with his presence or participation and is what we do now.
You would be surprised by how many young guys are attracted to older females and curios about the threesome scenario
The adjoining room arrangement worked for us. we checked out the acoustics of the door and found that with his door open and mine locked he could hear most everything and be safe from being caught
Once we determined that my playing was a turn on for both we concentrated in finding guys comfortable with his presence or participation and is what we do now.
You would be surprised by how many young guys are attracted to older females and curios about the threesome scenario
We are in our 50s and our bulls range from 35 to 45 with one being 56. Yes they love fucking older married women especially with hubby watching.
I took a lot of time reading the various post with some very good suggestions. She is very conservative and talking about it as a fantasy is a big deal for her. She mentioned she would wished she had more experiences but I'm not sure if she's being serious. She did ask the question and seemed surprised when she asked if I would be ok with the idea. I told her it would be a turn on for me to see her enjoy someone else. However, I did mention that I didn't want to do it at a cost of her falling in love and destroying our family. That's when we discussed some of the guidelines for us both.
im not sure if she's just playing along or is starting to consider the idea. In the last discussion she brought up the discussion on her own. Some of you have given some good advice and it's seriously appreciated. Some of this advice may be brought up the next time she starts the discussion. Thank you and any further advice would be appreciated.
im not sure if she's just playing along or is starting to consider the idea. In the last discussion she brought up the discussion on her own. Some of you have given some good advice and it's seriously appreciated. Some of this advice may be brought up the next time she starts the discussion. Thank you and any further advice would be appreciated.
I asked my best mate, he was comfortable with it. Over a few months we went from the occasional hug, playing cards, adding flash and stripping to him touching tits. When she was comfortable and relaxed I asked if he could feel between her legs, she knew she was in control. Eventually she agreed and the rest is history.
I know how she feels. I was very apprehensive the first time and very conscious of my husband being there but in the end I found it reassuring to see him involved when I had the inevitable moments of guilt. All in all its what works best for the both of you though.
Stacey's first time I wasn't present and have only seen her having sex once in our marriage - recently when her lover spent the night with her at our home. Even early in our marriage when we toyed with swinging, we didn't have sex in the same room. She said she would be too self-conscious to enjoy herself knowing that I was watching. I totally accepted this and honored her request. Now - watching her flirt and pet with a lover at the restaurant or bar, that was different. Plethora of mixed feelings - excitement, turned on, jealous, anxious, etc. all rolled up in one. But it's worked for us for over 40 years.
With my first wife she wanted me to be there and pretend I didn't know her as she was mainly into multiple partners. She said this allowed the bulls to really let go when they thought she was single. My exgf used to do both and I found that I was more turned on when she was out with her bull or bulls than when we were in a group session. My present wife will only fuck other guys WITHOUT my presence which drives me crazy while she is away and when she comes back the sex is out of this world. She has even spent time on holidays with different bulls so the sexual hype I get is spread over a longer period of just one night but we have built upto that
If she wants to do it alone until she gets used to it, encourage her to do it that way until she gets comfortable with sport fucking. Ask her to take a few pics while she is fucking someone, and text them to you so you can be somewhat involved. Susan and I started out with me watching and joining, and she still loves for me to watch and stroke while someone is fucking her. She also absolutely loves one on ones with men, and is actually fucking someone right at this very moment....300 miles away at our beach place! I love knowing that she is still horny as a 4 balled tomcat at 60 years old, and loves to fuck! Our one and only rule is no old boyfriends. I don't worry about her getting to involved with any of the men she fucks, because all it is to her is raw fucking. I hope it works out well for you guys, and you get to enjoy this awesome lifestyle. 
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