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From my point of view 'amateur ' means unstaged go with the flow... yes start with an idea rather than story. As for camera and new decent mobile will provide great quality as would a digital camera, what I would recommend is a tripod or an eager camera person, I think you could find many volunteers here.i would also if possible show it on a screen for her as you are both filmed.. allows you both to act as both exhibitionist and voyeur.

To make it more raunchy have something to surprise your lady , something she isn't expecting.. blindfold, bindings, spreader bar all depends what she enjoys.

So filming wise unless your are going in to mass production use what you have and enjoy...
 
Thanks to all your comments.
I would say having good lighting either natural or artificial really help.
The rest is a personal choice. I do like red lipstick for blowjob shoots and leather or lingerie.
 
We've made several. I personally like using just the camera on our phones. We've used a good camera some but I end up having to compress the files to save space and make it easier to share with others.