Probably need to undertake some surveillance or something haha. You need undeniable proof otherwise, if you confront her, she will totally deny it, then potentially stop her activities, so you will never know and it won't lead anywhere. If you can get undeniable proof, you can get her to admit it and then say you want it to continue (assuming you do). My wife knows I want an MFM and get turned on by her past exploits but for years she kept secret that she fucked guys and then, how many, when we broke up before getting married.Today she was out with "a guy she knows". Obviously lying "We go for dinner and maybe take a walk". She never mentioned who that guy is in the past.
Me: "What did you eat for dinner?"
She: "aaaaahhhh (3 seconds, stressed) ahhhh some arabic stuff. ah It was not good."
Me: Oh what a pity. Where was it?"
She: "aaaaahhhh (3 seconds, stressed again) ahhh somewhere in district number X of our city."
Me: "Ok. I probably don't know it"
She: "Of course you can't know every restaurant in town"
Me: "And you have probably been for a walk then afterwards."
She: "Yes, yes, the whether was so fine. It still so warm end of October".
The struggling for words showed me she was definetly lying. For 99.99 % certainty she is cheating.
What would you do in the situation? Confront here with it will just make her deny everything. She didnt open up so far, even though I am totally fine to share her.
Something is very fishy there. Sounds like she's ready to cheat which is hot on the one side. But dating another man is out of the question. But why would she do it secretly alone behind my back?
Been there! Lying sucks. Most people 'die with the lie". AND if they do own up they generally recant later.True. But she builds webs of lies and is fucking behind my back. I am fine with her being a slut fucking guys. But I am not fine with dishonesty. That is a situation I won't tolerate in a relationship for the long run. And my guess is she will not open up about her desires soon and push back. If thats the situation we will be for a log time this needs to be discussed. But I should do it in a supportive way. I would tell her I know about her specific sexdate but I am totally fine, I really love it, I will support it and she can do it with me just knowing it. I can only emphasize that dishonesty is not a longterm option to me.
Yeah, I agree - that's the problem... If you just say you support it without enough evidence to call her on it, she may still just deny it forever, no matter how supportive and encouraging you are about it. My wife would probably do that because, even if she accepted that I genuinely did want her to fuck other men, she'd still feel guilty about what she'd done and not want to acknowledge having hid it and lied about it. She might finally come clean with some booze like 5 years later.... but who wants to wait that long?True. But she builds webs of lies and is fucking behind my back. I am fine with her being a slut fucking guys. But I am not fine with dishonesty. That is a situation I won't tolerate in a relationship for the long run. And my guess is she will not open up about her desires soon and push back. If thats the situation we will be for a log time this needs to be discussed. But I should do it in a supportive way. I would tell her I know about her specific sexdate but I am totally fine, I really love it, I will support it and she can do it with me just knowing it. I can only emphasize that dishonesty is not a longterm option to me.
Like no panties?In a short dress and stockings only. Visibly!
True that she builds "webs of lies", but it only tells me that she's not comfortable letting you know that she wants sex with different men. If you can get her to the point where she realizes that you REALLY REALLY REALLY are OK with her dating other men, her ex included, then you might finally unleash the genie. Once she realizes that you're OK with this, then she will figure out that she doesn't have to conceal anything from you and she may even tell you about past lies she's told you to spare your feelings. She may then want to take the steps towards more public displays of her sluttiness, accompanying you to lifesstyle events and enjoying others with you.True. But she builds webs of lies and is fucking behind my back. I am fine with her being a slut fucking guys. But I am not fine with dishonesty. That is a situation I won't tolerate in a relationship for the long run. And my guess is she will not open up about her desires soon and push back. If thats the situation we will be for a log time this needs to be discussed. But I should do it in a supportive way. I would tell her I know about her specific sexdate but I am totally fine, I really love it, I will support it and she can do it with me just knowing it. I can only emphasize that dishonesty is not a longterm option to me.