Hello everyone! I'm so excited to start sharing experiences on this forum. I love to write, and this topic most definitely excites me.
I am 32, and my wife is 30. We have been married for over nine years (I was 23 and she was 21) and we dated for most of our college years, and off and on during junior high and high school. In terms of sexual experience, we both had NONE until our wedding night- two virgins, as it were.
As of the date of the writing of this post, we've both still only been with each other sexually. My goal, now that we are actually nearing the date of the defiling of our marriage (more on that progression in a bit), is to chronicle all the events leading up to that momentous occasion, the experience of the event itself, and the aftermath, whatever it may be.
How did I/we get here?
When we were boyfriend/girlfriend during junior high and high school, I would become insanely jealous if I found out she had an extended conversation with a guy, much less anything else! So it is remarkable to me that I now advocate her ...... with other men.
About two years into marriage, she started a new job and mentioned a guy at the office was openly flirting with her and even asked her to join him for drinks. She said she really didn't like him and thought he was cocky. Personally, I was shocked that a guy would do this. Not only did he know she was married, but he'd actually met me at a company event right after she started. I'd never encountered such behavior and I was really somewhat offended. At least at first.
Then, one night not long after that, during sex, I thought about it and asked her if she ever wondered what it would be like to be with another man, perhaps one with a different size penis; perhaps a bigger penis. (Mine is of the 6" variety; 4.5" in diameter. Certainly not small, but I'm certain there are larger).
She seemed horrified at the notion. She couldn't believe I would even ask such a question.
I'm no dummy. I knew I should probably drop it, and I did. But... all of a sudden, I recognized I was aroused by the fact that another an found my wife desirable. Even to the point of having no regard for me whatsoever. He thought he had a chance at my wife, and he went for it. He also thought, or knew, that he could win her over and beat me out.
The seed was planted. And because of this, the fantasy grew into desire, and the desire became more intense with each passing month.
I had to create safe places where my wife and I could talk about our fantasies together without judgement. She's never express a fantasy that seems "wild" to me, unfortunately, but over time, as I kept bringing up the idea of her having sex with another man, she gradual warmed to the idea.
When I say gradual, I mean, I think tectonic plates move faster than her. But that was intentional. Ultimately, I wanted her to actually develop the desire to the point where the tables were turned, and she wouldn't want me to stop her from going all the way.
I never tried to pressure her.
Her responses to me discussing my fantasy/desire changed over time from NO WAY EVER!, to 1) I could just never do that, 2) what, do you want to ...... with other women (no, I'd say), 3) I honestly have no desire to be wit anyone else, 4) I just can't imagine it, 5) are you insecure about your penis?, 6) why would this be okay with you, (at this point, it's 2015; 5 years after that guy hit on her in the office), then 7) if we did do it, and I'm not saying I ever would..., 8) you know I'm a lot more fun and relaxed when I can drink, 9) I don't think I could ever do it with a stranger (I'm totally fine with someone we know doing it, by the way.), 10) let me get back in shape after this pregnancy and then we can talk.
Well, she's back in shape, and we've had the kids. At three, we aren't planning on having more, but if she did get pregnant, we'd both be fine with it.
She looks better than ever and has more confidence than ever before. Having said that, she's still apprehensive (naturally) but is now officially excited about her first experience beyond the confines of marriage. And I'm so happy for her. She's going to make this lucky guy very happy.
When I say that the date of our marriages defiling is approaching, I should clarify that the date has not been set yet. We're having a meeting with some very close friends of ours this weekend as well as a few other men we have found through various Tinder like apps. We'll be vetting thoroughly.
I have thought a lot about this. I know there are several seemingly "negative" things that could happen:
1. she hates the experience. But if that's the case, we won't do it again.
2. She loves the experience and can't get enough. Actually, that wouldn't be negative at all.
3. She loses her sexual desire for me
4. She develops feelings for these other guys.
5. She actually gets pregnant with another mans baby
6. I actually find myself jealous that his other guy (or these other guys) are able to do things with her and explore her sexuality in ways she hasn't let me.
There may be more, but these are some that immediately come to mind.
But I can honestly say, I am okay with each and everyone one of these, and I am so ready to witness this desire become reality.
Forgive the long post. I am a bit wordy and detailed. I'll have more to share in the coming days!
Drew
I am 32, and my wife is 30. We have been married for over nine years (I was 23 and she was 21) and we dated for most of our college years, and off and on during junior high and high school. In terms of sexual experience, we both had NONE until our wedding night- two virgins, as it were.
As of the date of the writing of this post, we've both still only been with each other sexually. My goal, now that we are actually nearing the date of the defiling of our marriage (more on that progression in a bit), is to chronicle all the events leading up to that momentous occasion, the experience of the event itself, and the aftermath, whatever it may be.
How did I/we get here?
When we were boyfriend/girlfriend during junior high and high school, I would become insanely jealous if I found out she had an extended conversation with a guy, much less anything else! So it is remarkable to me that I now advocate her ...... with other men.
About two years into marriage, she started a new job and mentioned a guy at the office was openly flirting with her and even asked her to join him for drinks. She said she really didn't like him and thought he was cocky. Personally, I was shocked that a guy would do this. Not only did he know she was married, but he'd actually met me at a company event right after she started. I'd never encountered such behavior and I was really somewhat offended. At least at first.
Then, one night not long after that, during sex, I thought about it and asked her if she ever wondered what it would be like to be with another man, perhaps one with a different size penis; perhaps a bigger penis. (Mine is of the 6" variety; 4.5" in diameter. Certainly not small, but I'm certain there are larger).
She seemed horrified at the notion. She couldn't believe I would even ask such a question.
I'm no dummy. I knew I should probably drop it, and I did. But... all of a sudden, I recognized I was aroused by the fact that another an found my wife desirable. Even to the point of having no regard for me whatsoever. He thought he had a chance at my wife, and he went for it. He also thought, or knew, that he could win her over and beat me out.
The seed was planted. And because of this, the fantasy grew into desire, and the desire became more intense with each passing month.
I had to create safe places where my wife and I could talk about our fantasies together without judgement. She's never express a fantasy that seems "wild" to me, unfortunately, but over time, as I kept bringing up the idea of her having sex with another man, she gradual warmed to the idea.
When I say gradual, I mean, I think tectonic plates move faster than her. But that was intentional. Ultimately, I wanted her to actually develop the desire to the point where the tables were turned, and she wouldn't want me to stop her from going all the way.
I never tried to pressure her.
Her responses to me discussing my fantasy/desire changed over time from NO WAY EVER!, to 1) I could just never do that, 2) what, do you want to ...... with other women (no, I'd say), 3) I honestly have no desire to be wit anyone else, 4) I just can't imagine it, 5) are you insecure about your penis?, 6) why would this be okay with you, (at this point, it's 2015; 5 years after that guy hit on her in the office), then 7) if we did do it, and I'm not saying I ever would..., 8) you know I'm a lot more fun and relaxed when I can drink, 9) I don't think I could ever do it with a stranger (I'm totally fine with someone we know doing it, by the way.), 10) let me get back in shape after this pregnancy and then we can talk.
Well, she's back in shape, and we've had the kids. At three, we aren't planning on having more, but if she did get pregnant, we'd both be fine with it.
She looks better than ever and has more confidence than ever before. Having said that, she's still apprehensive (naturally) but is now officially excited about her first experience beyond the confines of marriage. And I'm so happy for her. She's going to make this lucky guy very happy.
When I say that the date of our marriages defiling is approaching, I should clarify that the date has not been set yet. We're having a meeting with some very close friends of ours this weekend as well as a few other men we have found through various Tinder like apps. We'll be vetting thoroughly.
I have thought a lot about this. I know there are several seemingly "negative" things that could happen:
1. she hates the experience. But if that's the case, we won't do it again.
2. She loves the experience and can't get enough. Actually, that wouldn't be negative at all.
3. She loses her sexual desire for me
4. She develops feelings for these other guys.
5. She actually gets pregnant with another mans baby
6. I actually find myself jealous that his other guy (or these other guys) are able to do things with her and explore her sexuality in ways she hasn't let me.
There may be more, but these are some that immediately come to mind.
But I can honestly say, I am okay with each and everyone one of these, and I am so ready to witness this desire become reality.
Forgive the long post. I am a bit wordy and detailed. I'll have more to share in the coming days!
Drew
