Just confessed to my wife id like to share her....after 8 long years one day drunk ass fuck i confessed. She kinda already knew this as during our years of being together i would hint things. But i finally told her. She said she would do it but with someone we dont know. My question is, what do i do next? How do i slowly test myself and her to see if we are ready for this new lifestyle....
Need help...
- Thread starter Durazno10
- Start date
Take her to a bar, let her flirt, she will soon pick up a guy
Uncledude55
Male
There are many web sites that exist just for swinging, be that looking for a bull to share your wife with....or looking for a full on couples swap. I suggest checking them out, joining the one you like, and find someone you both feel comfortable with. Once you find someone you can set up pretty much any scenario you all agree on.
You and her need to set ground rules.
the ground rules have been set, no friends, go for it babe
Vanilla guys are WAY too flaky and really often don't know how the "lifestyle" works. Most can be freaked out at the idea of the husband being involved at all. Vanilla guys do better if they think she's cheating. Our recommendation is to join a REPUTABLE lifestyle site and vet your guys through that site. They will have validations and you have many to chose from. You can chat with them before hand and get a feel for those you wish to pursue and (most) whom you do not. Lifestyle guys understand the deal if they have experience and they understand the husband being present, those things you guys like to do and that you want to take videos and pics. PM and we can give you a recommendation for a site. NO, we do not have any involvement in recruiting or making money off of a site.
HW
EDIT...BY ALL MEANS AVOID SITES LIKE DOUBLELIST, ETC! There's a reason those guys aren't on a reputable lifestyle site. After you guys have enough experience then you can take a chance at finding a gem on hookup sites...but you really want her to have a great time with an understanding and respectable guy. An organic meetup (bar, party, beach, etc) could be fun but those rarely happen. You want a guy who respectful, SAFE, etc. Guys who have given their info to a lifestyle site are far less likely to be some sort of violent sex criminal, etc. Our opinion.
EDIT2...Also, free sites are likely to catch all sorts of curious guys and gals...your friends, your family members, co-workers etc. If members of a site are required to give information and pay (we don't even have our profile available to "free" members, then you're far less likely to be found out by those whom you don't care to know about your secret. If you do run into somebody you know on the site, they are there for the same reason.
Cathy is correct though about certain situations meeting a guy at a bar. If your wife is traveling on business or you are on vacation, at your hotel, the hotel bar can be a jackpot. Tougher as a couple though, but if you're outgoing and not shy, it could work well.
HW
EDIT...BY ALL MEANS AVOID SITES LIKE DOUBLELIST, ETC! There's a reason those guys aren't on a reputable lifestyle site. After you guys have enough experience then you can take a chance at finding a gem on hookup sites...but you really want her to have a great time with an understanding and respectable guy. An organic meetup (bar, party, beach, etc) could be fun but those rarely happen. You want a guy who respectful, SAFE, etc. Guys who have given their info to a lifestyle site are far less likely to be some sort of violent sex criminal, etc. Our opinion.
EDIT2...Also, free sites are likely to catch all sorts of curious guys and gals...your friends, your family members, co-workers etc. If members of a site are required to give information and pay (we don't even have our profile available to "free" members, then you're far less likely to be found out by those whom you don't care to know about your secret. If you do run into somebody you know on the site, they are there for the same reason.
Cathy is correct though about certain situations meeting a guy at a bar. If your wife is traveling on business or you are on vacation, at your hotel, the hotel bar can be a jackpot. Tougher as a couple though, but if you're outgoing and not shy, it could work well.
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for testing the waters, the bar idea is a good one. it gives you a chance to see how both of you will react when guys show some interest in her. you need to have open communications between yourselves, complete openness and honesty is crucial. set some ground rules that make sense, like no overnight stays or no playing alone or whatever you decide on.
there are websites like AFF or FETLIFE, even ashley madison or tinder but be wary, there are many flakes and any potential partners need to be vetted before going further.
We believe that AFF is FULL OF FLAKES, worst of any site, too many free members..AM is almost ENTIRELY fakes and flakes and they have been compromised and member data stolen, have heard good things about FetLife but don't belong. We have belonged to AFF and stupidly tried AM as well. Tinder? Well, that's a whole different ballgame...as long as you're willing to chance running across friends or family members then we've heard it can be fun. We believe that it takes lots of experience before such a site will become comfortable and reliable for the OP's situation. That is the NUMBER ONE hookup site so many people in your local area will belong to it...FWIW..
HW
Our thoughts exactly. We're on SDC and have had success vetting the guys. Naturally the paid ones. Good luck
It would help a great deal if you told us some of there "reputable" sites.
What's the big secret??
I'm not sure the site rules allow the mention of other sites. It seems like we got a nastygram one time for doing so...verified members may PM us and we might provide some enlightenment on the topic.