leading up to it too - probably they may sneak away separately if they meeting so I’d be there quite early just in case - they still
yes I suppose office affairs do happen and it’s a real bummer that they work together etc , so in that case if she finished it can’t she put in for a transfer or move to another dept ? Yes a few wines and bit of the old charm and she be on her back again - really hard situation to be in for you mate
The gist of this entire thing is that YOU COULD STOP THIS if you really MEANT IT, but YOU DO NOT. You are on here discussing it because this whole thing turns you on and dominates your feelings far more than the negative feelings. If the "negative" was that bad, you would "be a man" and lay down the law with your wife. I use that term "be a man" not because sharing your wife isn't "manly", but letting your wife trample over your relationship IS. Keep in mind YOU groomed this over the years and she's decided to act on it and now she enjoys it. You're pretty much past the "stop" point unless you want her to stop this all together. If she does that, you need to realize it's probably permanent and she WILL NOT want to hear you beg her to ever do this again. Then you can live out both the comfort and frustration that comes from monogamy. You can't have it both ways. Clearly, she needs to be aware of all of the risks to career and family of this lifestyle and adjust her behavior accordingly. She obviously doesn't see a threat with this guy to her career, but you can be supportive by being that "voice of reason" from outside and telling her if you think it's a problem. Other than that, you CAN NOT "make" her quit. Your disdain for him does not mean the situation is somehow "unsafe" or anything else of the sort. It's about her and her pleasure, NOT you. You're there to be the love of her life and her husband. Other guys are there to be that extra spark of sexual bliss that she craves now.
Keep in mind, I believe this situation to be a bit threatening from a relationship standpoint because she has gotten so close to him, he's the only guy she's seeing over this time and when it ends, it could lead to (as you stated) career implications. They need to remain trusted colleagues and be adults about ending it or at least slowing it WAY down. As odd as it seems, things would be far less worrisome if she was having casual sex with other guys too. No feelings involved.
I believe she would stop (NEVER TO START BACK AGAIN, even when you inevitably go back to begging her to do it again) if you wanted her to do so. You simply don't want her to stop, you know this and I know this. The LAW MUST BE LAID DOWN though when it comes to FEELINGS and YOUR RELATIONSHIP as the PRIMARY PRIORITY. Once you have agreed on that, then just leave her alone to enjoy her extramarital sex life. As long as it's "just sex" then you are both living the dream. She must be smart about this.
Mrs Hotwife
Mrs Hotwife
I find it really hard to respond to your messages, as they are long and rambling and quiet contradictory. You also seem to want to enforce your view on my by using capitals to ram home your point.
You say I could "be a man" and lay down the law, but later you say 'you CAN NOT "make" her quit' 'It's about her and her pleasure'. There is no law to lay down, I don't have to tell her to quit, because it is apparently over.
I have made it quite clear that in some ways it turns me on but it still does not make what she did right in the circumstances and I resent the suggestion I groomed her. We are the same age, until this had a health relationship where we shared our feelings.
I am confused as to whether you agree or disagree with my view on her making a bad choice no just because I don't like him but from a work point of view.
My distain as you put it should have been a huge red flag for her and as it transpires regardless of the reason for it ending, I have been proved right.
There are 3 outcomes to this, it is ended and we go away and repair our marriage, or we manage to go one further and AGREE how to have hotwife relationship or we fail to reach agreement and the relationship ends. I once again reiterate for me a relationship has to have good communication, understand and a desire to pull in the right direction. Laying down the law does not work but she will be left in no doubt what is and isn't on the table.
You say you are a hotwife but have you ever cheated or been cheated on?
If I have misread your meaning, then I am sorry, but I have found it hard to take in, perhaps if you kept it shorter and clearer I might be able to digest it better. You may not believe this but I am struggling right now.
I would welcome others to comment on what you have said.
