Advice for unwilling cuckold

[HubbyJohn]

I married my high school sweetheart right after I graduated from college. We have generally had a wonderful life together. We had three kids in rapid order after getting married and have built a successful business together; the kids are now adults and one has recently given us our first grandchild. I am still very much in love with my wife, and she tells me the same. The issue is that in recent years I have discovered her having several affairs. The first was a bit less than 9 years ago. When I confronted her about it she cried, apologized, promised that it would not happen again, and pleaded with me not to tell our kids and to forgive her. I did forgive her, and our life together continued essentially as it had been. However, the same thing happened a few years ago. Again I forgave her (I imagine some of you will criticize me for being a gullible fool - I accept that).

Only a month ago, I again discovered that my wife had had sex with another man. Her response this time was completely different. Although she insisted that she still loved me, there was no crying and she told me that she thought I knew what she was doing because it should have been obvious to me that I had never truly satisfied her sexually, adding that she didn't think she "could" stop. Then, she tried to talk me into agreeing that she could date (which I took to mean fuck) other men. She said something like "I want you to be my cuckold." I replied that she had pretty much seen to that already. She then explained to me that being a cuckold these days means not merely having a wife that has sex with other men but condoning or even encouraging it. She said that I should come to this website and learn more about what she called a "cuckold lifestyle" and consider whether it wouldn't turn me on to know that other men were having sex with her. She even offered to let me watch her have sex with other men.

It was as though I had never known my wife of 30 years, and as though she had never known me. Didn't she know that I had always loved only her and always wanted to have a reciprocal, monogamous relationship with her? I didn't know how to respond or what to think. I don't want to divorce my wife, and still love her deeply. We argued about this for the next couple of weeks. Finally, she refused to talk to me about it further until I had spent an hour reading the texts on this site from men happy about being cuckolds. Against my better judgment I did that. What I found was messages from men who were happy having their wives "date" other men, and other men who want their wives to do so. Surprisingly, I found no messages from men like me whose wives wanted to have sex with other men but were opposed to it. My suspicion is that there are others in that third category, and I am writing this message to see if any of them (or men or women who are engaging, have engaged or want to engage in the "cuckold" lifestyle) can offer any advice for convincing my wife to return to a traditional marriage with me. Perhaps there are examples of couples who have regretted involvement in the "lifestyle".

I do not mean to be critical of anyone who has different ideas from mine, but am not interested in any advice to become what is called a "cuckold" here. If anyone is sincerely interested in helping and has constructive ideas, I would like to read them.

My advice is to think long and hard about how you feel about it.

Her lying and cheating is a problem entirely seperate from her wanting a cuck lifestyle. Do not confuse the two.

 

[nainshar]

Your wife has developed a liking for strangers cocks and has been enjoying them for at least the first time you discovered it, so highly likely there have been a lot more than you know about. She was disccrete in the past most likely because your kids had not left the nest then, but now with them older she really doesn`t care and is going to do whaterver she wishes. Keping you around as a cuckold would still be convenient for her, but if you do not want to be a cuck then I don`t see why you should. By your own admission sex with her now is pretty crap with little or no interest or input from her, so why not tell her if you decide you decide to stay married to her, that you do not intend doing so as her cuckold, but that you would be prepared to swing with other couples. That way she can still get the stranger cock she want, and you could have sex with someone who actually wants to have sex with you.

absolutely right thinking

 

[toolman2c]

It appears Ed Cooke is reading everyone's comments, but NOT saying anything, come on Ed Cooke participate in the story you started!!!

Yes, please stay with this post and tell how events continue to unfold.

 

[David Cy]

Good that I saw this post. I was cuckolded by cheating wife last year which came as real shock. At time was 28 and she 31 and married for about 1.5 years. Neither of us had a lot of sexual experience as we were both raised strict Catholic and met at Catholic University. But, we did have very active but conventional sex life.

Last May she told me that she had to admit to huge mistake, and told me how a few days earlier, when she went to an old friend's housewarming lunch and party in her hometown (I didn't go, since it was about 2 hours away, and I didn't even know the friend) she met a co-worker of her friend's husband, a somewhat older (53) and they began flirting. This didn't surprise me, because although she isn't the most experienced, she is bit of a flirt and does like the attention men give her. Apparently as afternoon went on, they got more and more flirty and even though she told him she was married, he kept it up, complimenting her body, which she likes to hear (she was good college athlete in tennis and track, and still coaches and plays).

The way she explained to me later, she really didn't believe anything would happen, but with the constant attention, and being attracted to him in general -- his confidence, and successful/wealthy style -- she allowed it to continue, and he went as far as at one point, sliding his had down the back of her pants to rub her ass (although from where they were standing, it wasn't likely anyone could see him do that).

Really, it sounded like he just "dazzled" her, and she said that she would get jealous when he would be talking to other women there. At the same time, being married and so sexually conservative, she considered it all just fun, and thought soon enough the night would end and it would be forgotten. I will say, knowing my wife, she had maybe one drink, since neither of us ever drink normally, so that isn't a reason why, but when Geoff kept it up, and in the early evening he told her that if she wanted him she should go upstairs, she went up and he followed few minutes later and as she put it later to me when confessing it, "we began kissing, he got me into Sarah and Jason's bed and made love to me."

I was flabbergasted by the news, because it was just so far outside of our lifestyle. Really, I was too shocked to even talk about it, although about a week later we did discuss it, after she told me she was relieved that her period had come. That was a big sigh of relief for us both, as she had told me that he hadn't worn a condom or "pulled out". Once we knew we had dodged that bullet, we were able to talk a bit more intelligently and I said I would move past it.

Then (and I know this has gotten a bit longer than I intended, sorry) a few weeks later she told me that Geoff had invited her out to dinner for that evening, and that she wanted to go, and as she said it, she would: "give myself to him again" that night after dinner. I was not pleased, but if I am being honest, I wasn't that surprised either. We agreed that we weren't sure what it would mean to our relationship, but that we shouldn't make any immediate decisions until things between us were calmed down (although it wasn't like we were arguing or yelling).

Well, she went on that dinner date, came back at about 7:00 am the next morning and confirmed, as if it was even in doubt, that after dinner out they went to his house and gone to bed. Once again, he had not worn a condom, but she had used PLAN B.

In any event, again sorry for long post, she continued to date him for next few months. I was very reluctant to let her, but with each "date" they had, I became bit more accepting.

 

[coastalkid]

I suspect that edcooke is done, done with this site, done with wife and done with his humiliation. He has gone on to figure out how to feel good about himself without his wife. He knows she won't stop. She got tired of hiding her affairs and became emboldened enough to put it in his face rather than apologizing as she did in the past. It's clear she has gotten to a place where she doesn't care.

Edcooke, I hope you have started to heal. I hope you are making yourself a priority because at one time you WERE her priority and she was yours, and now she's firmly decided to make herself a priority no matter what the consequences are. That's what you have to work with!

 

[droopy1]

Good that I saw this post. I was cuckolded by cheating wife last year which came as real shock. At time was 28 and she 31 and married for about 1.5 years. Neither of us had a lot of sexual experience as we were both raised strict Catholic and met at Catholic University. But, we did have very active but conventional sex life.

Last May she told me that she had to admit to huge mistake, and told me how a few days earlier, when she went to an old friend's housewarming lunch and party in her hometown (I didn't go, since it was about 2 hours away, and I didn't even know the friend) she met a co-worker of her friend's husband, a somewhat older (53) and they began flirting. This didn't surprise me, because although she isn't the most experienced, she is bit of a flirt and does like the attention men give her. Apparently as afternoon went on, they got more and more flirty and even though she told him she was married, he kept it up, complimenting her body, which she likes to hear (she was good college athlete in tennis and track, and still coaches and plays).

The way she explained to me later, she really didn't believe anything would happen, but with the constant attention, and being attracted to him in general -- his confidence, and successful/wealthy style -- she allowed it to continue, and he went as far as at one point, sliding his had down the back of her pants to rub her ass (although from where they were standing, it wasn't likely anyone could see him do that).

Really, it sounded like he just "dazzled" her, and she said that she would get jealous when he would be talking to other women there. At the same time, being married and so sexually conservative, she considered it all just fun, and thought soon enough the night would end and it would be forgotten. I will say, knowing my wife, she had maybe one drink, since neither of us ever drink normally, so that isn't a reason why, but when Geoff kept it up, and in the early evening he told her that if she wanted him she should go upstairs, she went up and he followed few minutes later and as she put it later to me when confessing it, "we began kissing, he got me into Sarah and Jason's bed and made love to me."

I was flabbergasted by the news, because it was just so far outside of our lifestyle. Really, I was too shocked to even talk about it, although about a week later we did discuss it, after she told me she was relieved that her period had come. That was a big sigh of relief for us both, as she had told me that he hadn't worn a condom or "pulled out". Once we knew we had dodged that bullet, we were able to talk a bit more intelligently and I said I would move past it.

Then (and I know this has gotten a bit longer than I intended, sorry) a few weeks later she told me that Geoff had invited her out to dinner for that evening, and that she wanted to go, and as she said it, she would: "give myself to him again" that night after dinner. I was not pleased, but if I am being honest, I wasn't that surprised either. We agreed that we weren't sure what it would mean to our relationship, but that we shouldn't make any immediate decisions until things between us were calmed down (although it wasn't like we were arguing or yelling).

Well, she went on that dinner date, came back at about 7:00 am the next morning and confirmed, as if it was even in doubt, that after dinner out they went to his house and gone to bed. Once again, he had not worn a condom, but she had used PLAN B.

In any event, again sorry for long post, she continued to date him for next few months. I was very reluctant to let her, but with each "date" they had, I became bit more accepting.

What is PLAN B? Do you think she is falling in love with Geoff ? If so it could mean the end for your marriage. Where do you fit in here? Does she find him to be a better lover than you?

 

[coastalkid]

Good that I saw this post. I was cuckolded by cheating wife last year which came as real shock. At time was 28 and she 31 and married for about 1.5 years. Neither of us had a lot of sexual experience as we were both raised strict Catholic and met at Catholic University. But, we did have very active but conventional sex life.

Last May she told me that she had to admit to huge mistake, and told me how a few days earlier, when she went to an old friend's housewarming lunch and party in her hometown (I didn't go, since it was about 2 hours away, and I didn't even know the friend) she met a co-worker of her friend's husband, a somewhat older (53) and they began flirting. This didn't surprise me, because although she isn't the most experienced, she is bit of a flirt and does like the attention men give her. Apparently as afternoon went on, they got more and more flirty and even though she told him she was married, he kept it up, complimenting her body, which she likes to hear (she was good college athlete in tennis and track, and still coaches and plays).

The way she explained to me later, she really didn't believe anything would happen, but with the constant attention, and being attracted to him in general -- his confidence, and successful/wealthy style -- she allowed it to continue, and he went as far as at one point, sliding his had down the back of her pants to rub her ass (although from where they were standing, it wasn't likely anyone could see him do that).

Really, it sounded like he just "dazzled" her, and she said that she would get jealous when he would be talking to other women there. At the same time, being married and so sexually conservative, she considered it all just fun, and thought soon enough the night would end and it would be forgotten. I will say, knowing my wife, she had maybe one drink, since neither of us ever drink normally, so that isn't a reason why, but when Geoff kept it up, and in the early evening he told her that if she wanted him she should go upstairs, she went up and he followed few minutes later and as she put it later to me when confessing it, "we began kissing, he got me into Sarah and Jason's bed and made love to me."

I was flabbergasted by the news, because it was just so far outside of our lifestyle. Really, I was too shocked to even talk about it, although about a week later we did discuss it, after she told me she was relieved that her period had come. That was a big sigh of relief for us both, as she had told me that he hadn't worn a condom or "pulled out". Once we knew we had dodged that bullet, we were able to talk a bit more intelligently and I said I would move past it.

Then (and I know this has gotten a bit longer than I intended, sorry) a few weeks later she told me that Geoff had invited her out to dinner for that evening, and that she wanted to go, and as she said it, she would: "give myself to him again" that night after dinner. I was not pleased, but if I am being honest, I wasn't that surprised either. We agreed that we weren't sure what it would mean to our relationship, but that we shouldn't make any immediate decisions until things between us were calmed down (although it wasn't like we were arguing or yelling).

Well, she went on that dinner date, came back at about 7:00 am the next morning and confirmed, as if it was even in doubt, that after dinner out they went to his house and gone to bed. Once again, he had not worn a condom, but she had used PLAN B.

In any event, again sorry for long post, she continued to date him for next few months. I was very reluctant to let her, but with each "date" they had, I became bit more accepting.

So, he "dated" her for a few months. I'm sure you know exactly how many months it was. When you weren't pleased with your wife how did that go? You also said you became "a bit more accepting", that doesn't sound like you're fully on board. I can understand why. Has your wife offered you any kind of gratitude for your acquiescing, or any explanation for her attitude? Do you think you can really move past this?

 

[Sgt Ray]

prostate left me unable to get erect so urged GF to take a lovèr for her sexual fulfilment.
After months she did and I got to "clean up" when she got home. it was sexy & hot. Then she asked me to be there next time to watch, so I went. Nice guy, good shape, well endowed. He really gave her a good shagging. They nuzzled as I licked her clean. She asked me to clean him up also. "Come on hon, I'll think no less you. Clean it, It will be so sexy to see his big cock in your mouth" I turned her down but I know she'll want to do it.
Ideas or suggestions ple

 

[David Cy]

What is PLAN B? Do you think she is falling in love with Geoff ? If so it could mean the end for your marriage. Where do you fit in here? Does she find him to be a better lover than you?

PLAN B is the "morning after pill" to prevent pregnancy. I do think she finds him a better lover, although I don't know if she was or is in love with him.

I know she found his aggressive pursuit immediately after they met amazing, and of course the confident way he, as she put it, "made love to me," in their friends bed.

 

[David Cy]

So, he "dated" her for a few months. I'm sure you know exactly how many months it was. When you weren't pleased with your wife how did that go? You also said you became "a bit more accepting", that doesn't sound like you're fully on board. I can understand why. Has your wife offered you any kind of gratitude for your acquiescing, or any explanation for her attitude? Do you think you can really move past this?

No, I have not always been on board, with it, and have gone back and forth. At times I have thought it happened because she never got to date and have casual sex, and now is getting the chance and able to have what others have when younger.

She has thanked me for allowing it and being at least somewhat understanding

 

[droopy1]

No, I have not always been on board, with it, and have gone back and forth. At times I have thought it happened because she never got to date and have casual sex, and now is getting the chance and able to have what others have when younger.

She has thanked me for allowing it and being at least somewhat understanding

Do you think it's a size thing then. You said she never got to date and have casual sex. Could it be that he is substantially bigger than you and this in part is what attracts her to him. Also you mentioned something about his 'wealthy style", might that be another factor here?

 

[David Cy]

She needs to go on the pill and then for you to give her permission to have a "single' sex life and enjoy sex for awhile. Just let her have her fun, try to get some pics and vids and maybe invite a date over so you can watch and play. The big problem is this level of attraction to just this one guy. that's a problem She needs to have sex with other guys and leave this one alone....or he's going to ruin your marriage. You're already "cucked" so you know she fools around and you don't have to try to talk her in to doing that. Making a change away from this guy is advised. Now that she fucks other guys, it might be a great time to go to lifestyle resorts or cruises so you can have a week or two and you can both become accustomed to her being 'picked up" for sex by other guys. It will be a bit tough at the start but your life will be fantastic sexually for a lifetime if you let it...

Thanks fr thoughts, which sounds like good advice to consider. Yes, I acknowledge having been "cucked" as another man has been with my wife, and done so with his bare cock, and that she has found it pleasurable and that he has ejaculated into her. The first time they were together, my understanding is, there was actually a high risk of pregnancy.

As far as she and Geoff go, I don't think they have seen each other in a while (since December, I believe) it may have run its course. She was clearly very attracted to him, but it's seems impossible that she will never meet another man she finds attractive.

She has gone on birth control, which makes sex between the two of us better, and will save us worry if she should meet another and want the freedom to experience him

 

[CONST65]

Thanks fr thoughts, which sounds like good advice to consider. Yes, I acknowledge having been "cucked" as another man has been with my wife, and done so with his bare cock, and that she has found it pleasurable and that he has ejaculated into her. The first time they were together, my understanding is, there was actually a high risk of pregnancy.

As far as she and Geoff go, I don't think they have seen each other in a while (since December, I believe) it may have run its course. She was clearly very attracted to him, but it's seems impossible that she will never meet another man she finds attractive.

She has gone on birth control, which makes sex between the two of us better, and will save us worry if she should meet another and want the freedom to experience him

Great to.hear from.you open and total honest commumication.is important
If you both want this talk.openly .I csn honest say ot has made our marriage js better we talk about everything more not onlt about se her confidence is better in always home work.etc..AS ALWAYS NOTHI G IS TOO MUCH TO ASK.BOB

 

[coastalkid]

No, I have not always been on board, with it, and have gone back and forth. At times I have thought it happened because she never got to date and have casual sex, and now is getting the chance and able to have what others have when younger.

She has thanked me for allowing it and being at least somewhat understanding

Has she offered you anything special in return? Especially since she knows you've never been fully on board with it. She has to know that you are in an awkward position. Is there any fantasy of yours that she could make happen if that was something you wanted?

If it was me, I'd be wanting to ask her what she thinks is the greatest benefit for you in "allowing" her fun. If her answer is you making her happy then you gotta wonder if it's Quid Pro Quo and when is your happy time coming? I'm curious as to how she acts about her freedom. Does she put in your face? Does she casually ignore the whole thing? Is she truly grateful and gone out of her way to express that to you?

 

[nainshar]

PLAN B is the "morning after pill" to prevent pregnancy. I do think she finds him a better lover, although I don't know if she was or is in love with him.

I know she found his aggressive pursuit immediately after they met amazing, and of course the confident way he, as she put it, "made love to me," in their friends bed.

pregnancy is most erotic thing but its very risky. husband and wife must have very good understanding

 

[CONST65]

pregnancy is most erotic thing but its very risky. husband and wife must have very good understanding

I know i might upset people bu 90 %a couple. Should not have a child so sexual desires most bulls atent arou d afyer and never are involved with the child TBIS IS WRONG WRONB itsnot fair to the husbamd of the hotwife to raise a child for 18 years especially if the childneeds medical.thzt only the true fsther czn supply FUCK.ALL.YOU.WZNT BOT. .NO.CHILDREN

 

[David Cy]

Do you think it's a size thing then. You said she never got to date and have casual sex. Could it be that he is substantially bigger than you and this in part is what attracts her to him. Also you mentioned something about his 'wealthy style", might that be another factor here?

Yes, he is bigger than me, and according to her, a better lover. That's definitely a major reason why she continued to see him. But, I think his success and status are also a big factor in making him attractive to her.

 

[droopy1]

Yes, he is bigger than me, and according to her, a better lover. That's definitely a major reason why she continued to see him. But, I think his success and status are also a big factor in making him attractive to her.

Do you think this might endanger your marriage?

 

[CONST65]

Thanks fr thoughts, which sounds like good advice to consider. Yes, I acknowledge having been "cucked" as another man has been with my wife, and done so with his bare cock, and that she has found it pleasurable and that he has ejaculated into her. The first time they were together, my understanding is, there was actually a high risk of pregnancy.

As far as she and Geoff go, I don't think they have seen each other in a while (since December, I believe) it may have run its course. She was clearly very attracted to him, but it's seems impossible that she will never meet another man she finds attractive.

She has gone on birth control, which makes sex between the two of us better, and will save us worry if she should meet another and want the freedom to experience him

Hello

 

[droopy1]

I know i might upset people bu 90 %a couple. Should not have a child so sexual desires most bulls atent arou d afyer and never are involved with the child TBIS IS WRONG WRONB itsnot fair to the husbamd of the hotwife to raise a child for 18 years especially if the childneeds medical.thzt only the true fsther czn supply FUCK.ALL.YOU.WZNT BOT. .NO.CHILDREN

I agree. It's mostly unfair to the child. No one should have a child because it's erotic or as part of a kink. Having a child is an entirely different thing and requires a major investment in time, love and money.